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OK, just remember, you asked for it. One thing you should know about the Submarine Service is how prospective Bubbleheads are chosen. They do various psychological tests and find the candidates that are very mentally "together", very "normal" and level headed. These they get rid of right off the mark, as they stand no chance. Oh yes, we did the normal things, stole the Captain's door. The XO's door. The Weapons officers door. We duct taped (EB greened)ensigns and stood them in the corner of the AMR (aux machinery room). Sent the new guys to see the Sea Bat. Stationed the Mail Bouy Watch, and sent people after sound powered phone batteries, relative bearing grease, and the positive bouancy tester. I know all you skimmers and targets did similar things. (I was once warned not to refer to targets as targets as it upset them. So, please don't be upset for being targets.) One form of entertainment that is exclusivly enjoyed by the Silent Service is the "Trim Party". It ususally starts in the evening after the movie. A few guys go up to the torpedo room. If the diving officer notices the boat getting a little nose heavy, he might pump a little water from the forward trim tank to after trim. This is fine until the guys in the TR get restless, and decide it would be much more comfortable in the engine room. Shaft alley in particular. They pick up a few of there friends in the mess decks and take them back with them. Now there are 8 or 9 guys back in shaft alley, and the water that was pumped back there earlier. (You do remember the water, don't you?) The efffect on the boat is quite noticeable now. The diving officer has to pump a fair amount of water forward to compensate. BTW, you can hear the valves cycle and the water flow, so timing the moves is not exactly random. Time to go back to the Torpedo Room! By now people are waking up and joining in. The TR can be quite crowded at this point. Did you remember the water? This can be kept up for at least a few more cycles. The boats path through the water looks like one of the better rides at Universal. But, all good things must come to an end. Everyone leaves the Torpedo Room heading aft, up the ladder to Ops upper level, wave at the diving officer on the way past. The dive gets smart, and pumps every available drop of water to forward trim. The party continues down IC alley into Missile Compartment upper level. Down the ladder, back throug Ops middle level, and into the Torpedo room, along with ALL the water. ( You did remember the water, didn't you?) At this point the Captains feet come into forcable contact with the bottom of his bunk, and the party's over. Next time I'll tell you what we did with egg whites, and who we did it to.