These GOOFs couldn't wait till end of the year: a list of Greatly Overexposed & Overhyped Fools

Every December I release my annual list of the most entertainingly scandalous, sinful, shameful and silly personalities of the year. I call 'em the GOOFs (for Greatly Overexposed and Overhyped Fool), and past winners include Dan Rather, O.J. Simpson, Jerry Springer, Dennis Rodman, Gary Condit, and Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp.

But for 2003 I'm going to hold two ceremonies--the year-end extravaganza, and this special wartime edition, honoring some of the wackiest, weirdest and wildest personalities from the last month.

Chrissie Hynde . The lead singer of the once-mighty but now irrelevant Pretenders, who have only been Pretending to be an important band since 1987, turned a concert in San Francisco into one of the most self-hating of all anti-war rants: "Have we gone to war yet? We [bleeping] deserve to get bombed. Bring it on!"

Later Hynde said, "Let's get rid of all the economic [bleep-bleep] this country represents! Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win!"

No word yet on when Hynde intends to give back all the money she earned releasing records in a country with such economic bleep-bleep.

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf. The Jon Lovitz "Pathological Liar" character from "Saturday Night Live" wishes he could be as inventive as the Iraqi information minister, who entertained the global journalistic community and became a cult hero with such post-battle pronouncements as, "We killed most of them!" and, "My feelings--as usual--we will slaughter them all," and, "I think we will finish them soon." A Web site lampooning al-Sahhaf offered T-shirts and coffee mugs with his likeness, and David Letterman paid tribute with the "Top 10 Things Iraqi's Information Minister Has to Say About the War," including such entries as "Wolf Blitzer and I Are Engaged," "Saddam's Not Dead--He's Just Out With a Case of the Shingles," and "War, What War?"

Jane Fonda. The former sex kitten and Academy Award-winning actress, whose resume also includes getting balloon-sized implants and churning out a series of best-selling exercise videos, told a Canadian audience the United States is "a country where the people are so ignorant of reality and history" and wondered "if you can call that a free world."

Fonda also said: "I think the entire world is going to be against us." Sort of like the entire country is getting sick of her.

Dixie Chicks-bashing DJs. Enough! It's not like Natalie Maines is the Jane Fonda of country music. She made ONE off-the-cuff remark at a concert--a comment which she later clarified, and then apologized for. (Not that she needed to apologize.) Yet country-radio DJs and program directors have pulled the Chicks from their playlists and have held anti-Chicks rallies where they bulldoze DC CDs. How about asking your listeners to settle down, grow up and enjoy the music?

Michael Moore. My guess is that Moore might have been the only Academy Award winner who actually attended mass on the morning of the Oscars--but he needs to pay a little more attention to what the Bible has to say about humility. It's a shame that such a talented and forceful comedic voice--the best left-wing answer to Rush Limbaugh--forfeited so much public goodwill with his ill-conceived, ill-mannered and ill-timed diatribe against Bush. Moore recently said to Roger Ebert: "I completely blew it by not saying what I wanted to say, or using my sense of humor . . . I didn't expect to win, and I started to panic. It was a classic example of poor delivery, improper reading of the room, and not feeling comfortable in the moment."

Exactly. And admitting that to Roger is a great start. But Moore should have called a press conference in the days after the Academy Award to make such a statement and to take questions.

Rep. Rob Ney (R-Ohio). He mounted a charge to rename french fries "freedom fries" in three Capitol Hill cafeterias, leading to an avalanche of menu revisionism in restaurants that suddenly stopped serving french fries, french dip, french dressing, etc. Question: When a real-life congressman campaigns to change the name of french fries to freedom fries, where does the Onion go for headlines? And speaking of the Onion, do restaurants still serve french onion soup?

The French. OK, I respect your right to disagree--but why do you have to avoid soap while doing so?

Michael Jackson. I know he hasn't uttered a peep about the war; if you asked him who the most evil leader in the world is, he'd probably say, "Captain Hook! He's so mean to all the children!" But come on, if we're talking GOOFy, how can we not mention Michael Jackson?

Virtually the entire roster of the Fox News Channel. With slogans such as "Fair and balanced," and, "We report, you decide," they're giving the Iraqi information minister a run for his money in the B.S. department. Look, there's nothing inherently wrong with a cable channel tilting so far to the right that you wonder if it's going to fall over; just don't lie about it, OK?

Plenty more GOOF nominees tomorrow--and the announcement of the grand prize winner.

"Ebert & Roeper" airs at 10:35 p.m. Saturday and 10:30 a.m. Sunday on WLS-Channel 7.

Look, there's nothing inherently wrong with a cable channel tilting so far to the right that you wonder if it's going to fall over; just don't lie about it, OK?

Leaning far left gives a biased perspective that those in the center appear as though they're on the right and that those on the right are over the edge. The same goes for people on the right as they look through the center toward the left.

A few stand above -- neither left, right or center -- and see that voting for the lesser of evils always begets evil. They see what is, is. Identify it. Integrate it honestly. Act on it honestly. Idealize it -- falling a statue of Saddam Hussein in Baghdad square is but one example.

I must say, George W. Bush may be the first president to break the chains. He is one shrewd poker player. My mind and gut says he stands above it all. Leading by example he is at his best and that fosters his top people to be at their best. They seem to know that is where real power and effectiveness emanate from.

Politics is off the radar screen in their personal realms. They do have to deal with foreign politics and politics inside our own government. It appears that the way they have done that is to say, "okay, we'll try it your way for awhile. You have important roles to add and we want to hear what you have to add."

Those that have something of substance and value to add are welcomed aboard. Others that show that their true colors are self-serving political agenda had their chance and made their choice. So be it.

Introduction

Voting for the lesser of evils always begets evil. How can so many people thinking they're right be so wrong?

Before voting for a politician make sure that they address Issue 101. Demand that of media outlets too.

Issue 101 -- The House of Cards

How is it that people and society in general have prospered and increased their well being for decades yet the politicians and bureaucrats say we must have another 3,000 laws and regulations each year on top of the 100,000+ laws already on the books... That without them people and society face "disaster". People and society have done quite well without next year's 3,000 new federal laws and regulations. Why all of a sudden can people and society not continue to do quite well without them? The fact is, they'd be better off without 99% of them.

So who really benefits from 3,000 new laws and regulations each year? -- not to mention state laws and regulations. Politicians and bureaucrats. They create boogieman problems and with a complicit media towing their boogieman problems cast a net of false fear and unwarranted despair in people.

Quite literally, they create problems where none exist. They're sick in that they chose to frighten people and foist false despair on them and do that to collect their unearned paychecks. Their job security is predicated on deceiving as many people as possible.

It cost more than just two trillion dollars a year to fund government abuse. That abuse hinders people's development, especially children being indoctrinated rather than educated, harms the economy and causes boom and bust cycles in markets.

Flushing that money down the toilet -- save for military defense spending -- would be better for individuals, their families and society. That's a different way of saying, can't we just pay congress to stay home and not leave their houses. Surely we'd be better off. Politicians and bureaucrats are sick and need your help.

Fully integrated honesty is key. That we have the government we have -- delivered by both Democrats and Republicans -- that has gone so far off course from the government the founders created, is a product of irrationality and dishonesty. Changing the laws via the system is almost completely useless. Politicians create dozens of unconstitutional laws before even considering repealing just one unconstitutional law. That is not a system -- it's a quagmire of deception, irrationality, fraud and abuse.

Politics is not the solution -- politics is the problem.

Who are the parasites?
Who are the producers?
Ostracizing the parasitical value destroyers
Praise the value producers

Step one for helping politicians and bureaucrats:
Get your head out of their sandbox.

Step two: Demand that they address Issue 101. Do the same with the media.

Step three: Ostracize government officials that fail to honestly address Issue 101. Do the same with the media.

Step four: Champion the science and business communities -- often under relentless attack by the government -- that create jobs, necessities, luxuries and ever greater advancements that support human life, family and society.

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