Mark Steyn: Movers and shakers have moved on to the next 'disaster'

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | 04/12/03 | Mark Steyn

[Pokey78]

On to the next quagmire! Don't get mired in the bog of yesterday's conventional wisdom, when the movers and shakers have already moved on to new disasters. America may have won the war but it's already losing the peace! Here's your at-a-glance guide to what the experts who got everything wrong last week will be getting wrong next week:

1) "Iraq's slide into violent anarchy" (Guardian, April 11). Say what you like about Saddam, but he ran a tight ship and you didn't have to nail down your nest of tables: since the Brits took over, Basra's property crime is heading in an alarmingly Cheltenhamesque direction. MBITRW (Meanwhile Back In The Real World): A year from now, Basra will have a lower crime rate than most London boroughs.

2) "The head of the World Food Programme has warned that Iraq could spiral into a massive humanitarian disaster" (Australian, April 11). MBITRW: No such disaster will occur, any more than it did during the mythical "brutal Afghan winter" and its attendant humanitarian scaremongering. ("The UN Children's Fund has estimated that as many as 100,000 Afghan children could die of cold, disease and hunger." They didn't.)

3) "Iraqis Now Waiting for Americans to Leave" (AP, April 10). MBITRW: There will be terrible acts of suicide-bomber depravity in the months ahead, but no widespread resentment at or resistance of the Western military presence.

4) "If Saddam is not found dead, or caught alive, it will be the worst of all possible closures for the war against Iraq. Bin Laden himself continues to elude capture" (Roland Flamini, UPI) MBITRW: Obviously, it would be preferable if the late Saddam's future media appearances were confined to guest-hosting Good Morning, Hell! with Osama. But if he's reduced to bin Laden's current schedule - mailing in bi-monthly audio cassettes of Islamist boilerplate - what's the difference? Even if he'd escaped to Syria, he'd be spending the rest of his days as a Bedouin goat-herd. Right now, Boy Assad is doing his best not to attract Rummy's attention.

5) "Iraq was a new country cobbled together from several former Ottoman provinces, its lines drawn by the Europeans" (Mark Mazower, Independent, April 7). It's a phony state, you can never make a go of it. MBITRW: There's nothing in the least bit "cobbled" about it. The three Ottoman vilayets of Mosul, Baghdad and Basra have been bound together by geography and trade for millennia. As a coherent jurisdiction, it makes more sense than, say, Belgium. As long as you respect its inherently confederal nature, it'll work fine: think St Kitts and Nevis writ large.

6) "Turkey is concerned that a Kurdish capture of Kirkuk could help bankroll moves to establish an independent Kurdistan" (AFP, April 9). MBITRW: Nothing to worry about. The Kurds are the only part of the indigenous population that were part of the liberation force from the start. They're not going anywhere now. They'll settle for being Scotland or Quebec rather than Pakistan.

7) "Rather than reforming the Muslim world, the conquest of Iraq will inflame it" (Jeffrey Simpson, Toronto Globe and Mail, April 10). MBITRW: Effective immediately, Palestinian suicide bombers are no longer subsidised by Baghdad; in Jordan, the Saddamite boot is off the Hashemite windpipe; Syria is under notice to behave. Despite the best efforts of Western doom-mongers to rouse the Arab street, its attitude will remain: start the jihad without me.

8) "Looting is always unsavoury. Let's hope the Americans don't pilfer the oil" (Brenda Linane, Age of Melbourne, April 11). MBITRW: The pilfering of Iraq's oil has just ended. Saddam parcelled his country's wealth out to those companies willing to cosy up to him. The oil business will now be opened up to competitive tender. The only North American politician with a personal stake in any of this is not Bush, Cheney or any of their Texan oilpatch pals, but the Prime Minister of Canada, whose daughter is married to TotalFinaElf's biggest shareholder. The liberation of Iraq is a victory for real markets over French cronyism.

9) "Weapons of Mass Destruction. Remember them? Not a single one has yet been found" (Bill Neely, ITV, April 10). MBITRW: Actually, I almost wish this one were true. Anything that turns up now will be assumed to have been planted. If I were Washington, I'd consider burying anything I found. After all, an America that feels no need to bother faking justifications for invasion would be far more alarming to most Europeans. Instead, horrible things will turn up, but will never be "conclusive" enough for the French, who've got all the receipts anyway.

10) America is already losing the peace. MBITRW: In a year's time, Iraq will be, at a bare minimum, the least badly governed state in the Arab world and, at best, pleasant, civilised and thriving. In short: not a bad three weeks' work.

[Amelia]

9) "Weapons of Mass Destruction. Remember them? Not a single one has yet been found" (Bill Neely, ITV, April 10). MBITRW: Actually, I almost wish this one were true. Anything that turns up now will be assumed to have been planted. If I were Washington, I'd consider burying anything I found. After all, an America that feels no need to bother faking justifications for invasion would be far more alarming to most Europeans. Instead, horrible things will turn up, but will never be "conclusive" enough for the French, who've got all the receipts anyway.

Gotta love it.

[Dark Wing]

ping

[Paul_B]

Thanks Pokey. Way to go, Mark. Loved the dig at Belgium's lack of national coherance.

[Cicero]

Somebody really should put up a separate post under breaking news for this little throwaway nugget:

the Prime Minister of Canada, whose daughter is married to TotalFinaElf's biggest shareholder

This is a blockbuster, which I have seen reported nowhere else.

[Gritty]

MBITRW: Steyn hits another home run!

[WOSG]

5) "Iraq was a new country cobbled together from several former Ottoman provinces, its lines drawn by the Europeans" (Mark Mazower, Independent, April 7). It's a phony state, you can never make a go of it. MBITRW: There's nothing in the least bit "cobbled" about it. The three Ottoman vilayets of Mosul, Baghdad and Basra have been bound together by geography and trade for millennia. As a coherent jurisdiction, it makes more sense than, say, Belgium. As long as you respect its inherently confederal nature, it'll work fine: think St Kitts and Nevis writ large.

As usual, mark Steyn's rapier wit skewers 'em good ... but I can do him one better on this score ... Iraq makes far more sense as a country than the *EU* does! Cobbled-tegether pastiche of territories that have never been together before and are being forced together for the worst reasons (selfishness, government aggrandizement and imperialism). That is the European Union!

[Clive]

"If I were Washington, I'd consider burying anything I found. After all, an America that feels no need to bother faking justifications for invasion would be far more alarming to most Europeans."

Well said.

[Yardstick]

That was the line that jumped out at me, too. Screw the WMD's. Let the Europeans be alarmed. I like it.

[COBOL2Java]

Obviously, it would be preferable if the late Saddam's future media appearances were confined to guest-hosting Good Morning, Hell! with Osama.

My favorite line!

[McGavin999]

Looks to me like the only ones stuck in a quagmire are the pathetic journalists.

Fortunately, for the trade, a whole new journalistic style has been born in the blood and sweat of the Iraqi Freedom campaign. I admire and respect those who went with our troops and discovered the truth first hand. Hopefully, they will retain that crystal clear vision when they return home.

[Scenic Sounds]

Anything that turns up now will be assumed to have been planted.

But of course. If nobody's gonna buy your used delusion, you gotta keep it.

And wear it with pride!!

[dighton]

Anti-War Leaders Fear US Fast Food Threat to Iraq

[speekinout]

Fortunately, for the trade, a whole new journalistic style has been born in the blood and sweat of the Iraqi Freedom campaign. I admire and respect those who went with our troops and discovered the truth first hand.

"Embedding" journalists was a brilliant idea of Tori Clark's. And it was a disaster for the Liberals. We're going to be seeing a lot of true stories about our military and this war, and few of them will be supportive of the Left or anti-war factions.
Embedding should be a formal policy for any future military actions (although it would be nice if we have finally convinced the tin-horn dictators that it isn't a good idea to threaten Americans or their closest allies)

[Right_in_Virginia]

Here's your at-a-glance guide to what the experts who got everything wrong last week will be getting wrong next week:...

Beautiful!....LOL!

[dts32041]

I resemble that remark.

[You Dirty Rats]

Good one! Not often that anyone improves on Steyn, but the EU is a MUCH better example than Belgium. It also would be more appropo on the day the weasels met in St. Petersburg.

[LibertarianLiz]

In short: not a bad three weeks' work.

Amen. Gives me hope for the younger generation -- we've got some good 'uns.

[conservatism_IS_compassion]

Fortunately, for the trade, a whole new journalistic style has been born in the blood and sweat of the Iraqi Freedom campaign. I admire and respect those who went with our troops and discovered the truth first hand. Hopefully, they will retain that crystal clear vision when they return home.

Exactly . . . except that those guys are "corrupted"--IMHO they will find out that they are no longer "objective journalists." I very much fear that overexposure to reality will make them unemployable.

[LibertarianLiz]

Here is Steyn's column on the Cretien connection (the column is just a hoot):

Welcome to Anglo-Saxon Reality

[LibertarianLiz]

See my post #39 for the link to a previous Mark Steyn column about this subject.