[Liz]

Why do people hate me? ....would be a great beginning.

[PetroniDE]

Somehow the words "Clinton" and "Memoirs" (version of memory) in the same sentence doesn't make sense, since he has "No Memory".

ROFLOL.

[Larry Lucido]

The more time that goes by, the less value any book with "Clinton" in the title will have. By the time either memoir is published, it will go straight to the $1.99 bin (where it will still collect dust).

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STOP BY AND BUMP THE FUNDRAISER THREAD

[My2Cents]

"It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a shot rang out..." (crumple crumple)

"Call me Ishmael..." (crumple crumple)

[fuzzy122]

Whooo-raaah!!!

MEGA-

Stay Strong
Fuzzy

[quark]

Chapter 1: Head Bangers Ball

"There I was, speaking on the phone with Congressman Hoyer about funding for current military operations, when of a sudden..."

[martin_fierro]

It was a night to remember. Barbra Streisand was bouncing on the trampoline in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Nope -- it was Linda and Markie.

[kimoajax]

"Rosebud...."

[Conspiracy Guy]

Clinton's Legacy Of Greatness in numerical order 1. .

[Slyfox]

I would venture to guess that whoever gives him 10 million bucks is probably looking for favorable treatment from Senator Hillary.

[ken5050]

Liz..Clinton's ego will force him to keep interjectign himself into politics, and that almost guarantees that the Dems will never be able to regain power as long as he's alive....He has a life expectancy of about 35 years, unless he doesn't die from a drug overdose or an STD.....so,

[pbear8]

It was the best of times and I made it the worst of times...

[dead]

It All Began (Unfortunately) in a Place Called Hope

Bill Clinton was born (a poor black child, named) William Jefferson Blythe III on August 19, 1946, in the small town of Hope, Arkansas. He was named after his (purported) father, William Jefferson Blythe II, who (like dozens of other Clinton associates) had been killed in a car accident just three months before his (evil) son was born. Needing to find a way to support herself and her new (evil) child, Bill Clinton's mother, Virginia Cassidy Blythe, moved to New Orleans, Louisiana, to study nursing. Bill Clinton (had his horns surgically removed and) stayed with his mother's parents in Hope. There he was surrounded by many relatives who (married each other and) gave him love and support and who played a significant role in his upbringing.

Bill Clinton's grandparents, Eldridge and Edith Cassidy, taught him (to not have) strong values and beliefs. They owned a small grocery store just outside of Hope, and despite the segregation laws of the time, (Bill's spinmeisters invented the story that) they allowed people of all races to purchase goods on credit. They taught their (evil) young grandson that everyone is created equal and that people should not be treated differently because of the color of their skin (although you should choose cabinet members not on their qualifications, but on their race and gender.) This was a lesson Bill Clinton never forgot (yet he couldn't remember getting sucked off by an intern).

His mother returned from New Orleans with her nursing degree in 1950, when her (evil) son was four years old. Later that same year, she married an automobile salesman named Roger Clinton (who soon realized that he was the stepfather to devil-spawn). When Bill Clinton was seven years old, (he spun his head around 360 degrees and) the family moved to Hot Springs, Arkansas. Known for its natural mineral hot springs, its scenic beauty, and its racetrack, Hot Springs was bigger than Hope and offered better (chicks and) employment opportunities. Roger received (oral sex from a hooker, and then landed) a higher paying job as a service manager for his brother's car dealer-ship and Virginia was able to find a better job (and accidently kill a guy) as a nurse anesthetist. In 1956. Bill Clinton's (dopey) half-brother, Roger Clinton, Jr., was born. When his (halfwit) brother was old enough to enter school, young Bill (killed a cat in a ritualistic offering to Satan and) had his last name legally changed from Blythe to Clinton (much to the chagrin of his stepfather)...

[geedee]

[chimera]

"I...I...and then I...but I..."

"Now let's talk about me for a minute..."

[Attillathehon]

"Last night I dreamt I was at the Mandy lay. Or was her name Monica? Whatever.

[weegee]

Shouldn't his autobiography begin:

"Dear Penthouse Forum,

I know that everyone always says it but you'll never believe the story that I am about to relate!

I was working in the office late one night when one of the college interns cozies up to me. I order a pizza (her favorite!) and..."

[weegee]

"I was born a poor black child."

[kitkat]

DRAFT 22: The most important lesson I learned as the President of the United States is to retain a sense of humor. When leaving the funeral of Ron Brown, I...(crumple, crumple)

[Joy Angela]

"Hillary was assigned to me as my Communist operative and from that moment on ...."