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No fighting here, says minister - to sound of gunfire
The Daily Telegraph ^ | April 8, 2003 | Adrien Jaulmes

Posted on 04/07/2003 5:22:59 PM PDT by MadIvan

Even as the fighting raged on the right bank of the Tigris yesterday, a strange gathering formed on the balcony of the Hotel Palestine, home to foreign journalists and their moustachioed monitors from the ministry of information.

Wearing his black Ba'ath Party beret pulled down tight over his skull and even more agitated than usual, Mohammed Said al-Sahaf, the thin-lipped information minister, held an impromptu press conference.

"The Americans claim their tanks are in the middle of the city. This is a lie," he huffed. "No American tank is in Baghdad. Never. They tried to get back into the city last night via the Daura motorway but most were forced to retreat and the rest were massacred."

He and his translator were occasionally drowned out by the sound of shots that rang out from the general tumult or by the howl of an American plane flying low over Baghdad.

"The fight continues," he said. "We are inflicting heavy losses on them and hundreds of their soldiers have begun to kill themselves. We advise them to withdraw as quickly as possible."

For his audience, sand crunches under their pens, covers camera lenses and stings their throats. He continued his rant, oblivious, rolling his eyes upwards behind his rimless spectacles.

"This is an historic lesson for the people in Washington who sacrifice their mercenaries."

Even as Sky News was broadcasting pictures of an American flag fluttering over one of Saddam Hussein's main palaces, the minister continued to harangue the journalists, accusing them of repeating British and American "lies".

Surprising the correspondent for the Qatari satellite network, he said: "I blame al-Jazeera for reporting this morning that there was fighting around the ministry and the al-Rashid hotel.

"I have just been to my ministry and visited the hotel. Check your facts and do not repeat lies," he said with a flourish.

"They are trying to fool you. They are showing any old pictures of buildings. They even went into the VIP section of the airport, just because Saddam Hussein may have sat in such and such a chair or slept in such and such a bed," he said.

At the end of the press conference, four grey ministry buses lined up in the road between the futuristic towers of the Palestine and Sheraton Hotels. The statue of the Thief of Baghdad aboard his flying carpet is covered with a thick coating of whitish dust.

"You are going to see that we still control the right bank," said an official.

The Americans are still pounding Baghdad's defences and have not captured the entire right bank of the Tigris. What is left of the Iraqi authorities has withdrawn on to the other side of the river.

While Saddam's inner circle seems to be going all over Baghdad to escape the bombing, the Hotel Palestine, protected by the presence of hundreds of foreign correspondents, is becoming the regime's last hold-out.

In the 1970s decor of the hotel lobby, the information ministry continues to function barely half a mile from the American front lines, as if nothing was going on.

An official wearing a houndstooth jacket and pomade in his hair sat in a disused souvenir shop yesterday and filled out reports on carbon paper.

Seated at six tables in the middle of the lobby, the ministry's guides continued to reply to requests from television crews in their usual way. "No. That is not possible. The exits to the city are blocked. Wait for the bus."

Adrien Jaulmes is Le Figaro's Baghdad correspondent


TOPICS: Extended News; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; US: District of Columbia; United Kingdom; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: baghdadbob; blair; bush; iraq; itsjustafleshwound; saddam; uk; us; war
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Fascinating that a French journalist is being this honest. ;)

Regards, Ivan


1 posted on 04/07/2003 5:22:59 PM PDT by MadIvan
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To: hoosiermama; Dutchgirl; Freedom'sWorthIt; Carolina; patricia; annyokie; ...
Bump!
2 posted on 04/07/2003 5:23:11 PM PDT by MadIvan
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To: MadIvan
I took some mescaline once and my world wasnt near as rosy as his....what is he on?
3 posted on 04/07/2003 5:25:37 PM PDT by woofie
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To: MadIvan
That's not gunfire. Those are the famous Baghdad woodpeckers back for the Spring.
4 posted on 04/07/2003 5:25:51 PM PDT by Noumenon (You can evade reality, but you cannot evade the consequences of evading reality - Ayn Rand)
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To: woofie
Sahaf's wartime diet: Hashish brownies and psilocybin Kool-Aid.
5 posted on 04/07/2003 5:31:13 PM PDT by O.C. - Old Cracker
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To: MadIvan
This is beyond bizarre.
6 posted on 04/07/2003 5:31:39 PM PDT by Nita Nupress
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To: Noumenon
Baghdad woodpeckers.........LOLOL
7 posted on 04/07/2003 5:32:06 PM PDT by OldFriend (without the brave, there would be no land of the free)
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To: MadIvan
SO, Saddam "forgot" to tell him about the escape plan??
8 posted on 04/07/2003 5:32:28 PM PDT by Ecliptic (Keep looking to the sky)
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To: MadIvan
You know, I'm beginning to wonder if this man is clinically delusional.
9 posted on 04/07/2003 5:32:53 PM PDT by Nita Nupress
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To: MadIvan
The first couple of days, this guy was really funny. Now he is just plain annoying! Did anyone catch that smirk on his face today when he was spewing all that garbage that America was lying about being in the city? That was funny to watch :)
10 posted on 04/07/2003 5:34:10 PM PDT by Kimlee
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To: MadIvan
LOL, I can't wait for Coalition troops to walk up smiling behind him during one of his press conferences. The funniest part is that some networks still believe this guy...
11 posted on 04/07/2003 5:35:04 PM PDT by thatdewd
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To: Noumenon
That's not gunfire. Those are the famous Baghdad woodpeckers back for the Spring.

The big boom is from the larger male woodpecker, with his 120 mm depleted uranium beak.

12 posted on 04/07/2003 5:36:15 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Donate to FR. End the fundraising quagmire against the Fedayeen Snuggles.)
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To: MadIvan
One way of looking at it is that the longer Baghdad Bob stays in business, the clearer view the Arab Street will have of the disjuncture between propaganda and reality.

Sort of what Rush Limbaugh says about our "liberals": when socialism is utterly discredited we should always keep one on each college campus just as a museum piece.


13 posted on 04/07/2003 5:37:32 PM PDT by conservatism_IS_compassion
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To: thatdewd
I can already picture him being dragged away between two Marines screaming "They're not here! They're not here! It's a lie! It's an illusion! Don't believe them!!"
14 posted on 04/07/2003 5:37:50 PM PDT by Redcloak (All work and no FReep makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no FReep make s Jack a dul boy. Allwork an)
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To: MadIvan
When the movie is made and this guy's part is fille, I think Jackie Mason would be perfect.
15 posted on 04/07/2003 5:40:04 PM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: Redcloak
I can already picture him being dragged away between two Marines screaming "They're not here! They're not here! It's a lie! It's an illusion! Don't believe them!!"

ROFLMAO!

16 posted on 04/07/2003 5:41:17 PM PDT by thatdewd
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To: Nita Nupress
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!"
17 posted on 04/07/2003 5:49:09 PM PDT by Wilhelm Tell (Lurking since 1997!)
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To: MadIvan
He reminds me of this guy:


18 posted on 04/07/2003 5:51:16 PM PDT by Brett66
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To: MadIvan
This guy has got to book time on Leno and Letterman. He's that funny...
19 posted on 04/07/2003 5:52:53 PM PDT by AmericaUnited
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To: MadIvan
While Saddam's inner circle seems to be going all over Baghdad to escape the bombing, the Hotel Palestine, protected by the presence of hundreds of foreign correspondents, is becoming the regime's last hold-out.

In other words, they are using the journalists as human shields.

20 posted on 04/07/2003 5:55:21 PM PDT by NovemberCharlie
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