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To: iowaboy
Saddam's not dead...he's just pining for the fjords.
2 posted on 04/01/2003 9:05:12 AM PST by Poohbah (Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!)
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To: Poohbah
He's an ex-Iraqi.
5 posted on 04/01/2003 9:06:05 AM PST by vbmoneyspender
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To: Poohbah
Would somebody explain the "pining for the fjords reference"?! (I'm running out of the variations on the he'sdeadJim theme,; need a new punch line.)
49 posted on 04/01/2003 9:11:15 AM PST by Revolting cat! (Subvert the dominant cliche!)
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To: Poohbah
He's not pining...he's passed on! He's bleeding demised.
60 posted on 04/01/2003 9:13:34 AM PST by mommybain
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To: Poohbah
He just completed "Weekend at Saddam's"
103 posted on 04/01/2003 9:20:12 AM PST by patriot5186
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To: Poohbah

'Bring out your dead!'
[thud]
[clang]
CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[cough cough...]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence.
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr!]
...your dead!
[rewr!]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:
Right. All right.

129 posted on 04/01/2003 9:26:16 AM PST by anymouse
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To: Poohbah
LOL!
185 posted on 04/01/2003 10:10:33 AM PST by Terriergal (In Your great compassion you gave them deliverers, who rescued them from the hand of their enemies)
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