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Secret Videotape Shows Lions Eating Christians In Iraq (Humor)
Yahoo News ^ | By VINCENZO SARDI & BARRY DUTTER

Posted on 03/29/2003 12:32:52 PM PST by getitright

WASHINGTON -- U.N. weapons inspectors searching for nuclear weapons have uncovered something they never expected to find: A hidden rock quarry, dubbed "The Arena of Death," where helpless Christian prisoners are fed to hungry lions!

One of the quick-thinking inspectors had his video camera with him when this horrifying spectacle was taking place, and captured the gruesome scene on tape. The inspectors could only stand by helplessly as three men were torn limb from limb by the voracious beasts.

"It was the most frightening thing I've ever seen," says one inspector.

"They must not have fed those lions for weeks beforehand, because they ripped into those Christians like they were wounded antelopes."

The inspectors were too late to save the three men in the lion pits, but they did find one other prisoner in a cell adjacent to the arena -- an American woman, Alice Semple, 32. Semple traveled to Iraq with seven companions as part of a Christian missionary group.

"We came to Iraq on a mission of peace," she told Weekly World News reporters. "We wanted to help the underpriveleged people in Iraq. But Saddam accused us of being spies and threw us into cages."

The prisoners were taken in groups of two or three at a time to the arena and fed to the lions.

"My friends never had a chance," Semple sobs.

"They were totally defenseless, armed with nothing but their faith in Jesus. I could hear their screams from inside my cell."

Semple was freed from Saddam's prison at the insistence of the incensed U.N. inspectors.

"Saddam was reluctant to let her go," one inspector says, "because he feared it would give the U.S. one more reason to invade.

"He finally relented, convinced that no one would believe her story anyway."

But Saddam was unaware of the secret videotape taken by inspectors.

Semple has since been flown back to an undisclosed hospital in the U.S., where she is undergoing treatment to help her cope with the trauma of what she saw.

"They told me I was to be the next victim of the lions," she said. "And they said after I was gone, they'd go out and kidnap more helpless Americans."

A Vatican spokesman says Pope John Paul II is outraged.

"The Pope feels that this time, Saddam Hussein has gone too far," the spokesman says. "He believes some sort of action must be taken."

A U.S. Defense Department official agrees, saying, "This incident shows why we must take Saddam out now. He is a dangerous, sadistic maniac."

For years, Iraqi defectors have told lurid tales about Saddam's private arena, a stadium-size "athletic facility" located just outside Baghdad.

The twisted megalomaniac reportedly fancies himself a latter-day Roman emperor. In addition to his beloved lions, Saddam also also uses tigers, bears, and other exotic imported animals to dispatch political prisoners.

According to the U.N. inspectors who witnessed the carnage from a hidden alcove, Saddam and his generals sat in a booth, munching on cotton candy, and enjoying the 'show.'

The inspectors note that Iraqi officials had tried to steer them clear of the arena. "We came upon it purely by chance," one inspector said.

Iraqi officials deny any knowledge of Saddam's lions.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: christians; humor; iraq; iraqifreedom; saddamhussein
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To: getitright
Gee, I haven't heard this one on ABCNNBCBS; come to think of it, not even on FOX.
21 posted on 03/29/2003 12:43:19 PM PST by JimRed (Disinformation is the leftist's and enemy's friend; consider the source before believing.)
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To: getitright
Can this be independently verified? What is the name of the group that she was traveling with? This is horrific, and needs to be widely disseminated, once verified.
22 posted on 03/29/2003 12:43:40 PM PST by RightOnGOP
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Comment #23 Removed by Moderator

To: RightOnGOP
The source is Weekly World News!

It's a goofball tabloid.

24 posted on 03/29/2003 12:45:57 PM PST by Dog Gone
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To: getitright
Your first post . . .



Bummer!
25 posted on 03/29/2003 12:46:05 PM PST by leadpenny (OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM)
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To: MHGinTN
Yeah - the source here is worse than questionable. But I put nothing past Saddam and his terror goons.
26 posted on 03/29/2003 12:46:38 PM PST by July 4th
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To: getitright
Now the Pope is "outraged"...I guess when visions of the Roman Empire are brought to mind, it`s a different story. Anything else, it`s "leave Saddam alone"
27 posted on 03/29/2003 12:46:41 PM PST by metalboy
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Comment #28 Removed by Moderator

To: fml
This has OUTRAGED me that Yahoo has this in Entertainment and Gossip section. If this is true, it shows us where YAHOO BRAINS ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SICK!!!
29 posted on 03/29/2003 12:48:19 PM PST by pollywog
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To: Dog Gone
No. It was like that when I found it.
30 posted on 03/29/2003 12:49:25 PM PST by xm177e2 (Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
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To: xm177e2
I think this is supposed to be funny because the author thinks the charges against Saddam are over the top. Saddam has done things much more sadistic than this. So it is not funny.
31 posted on 03/29/2003 1:12:00 PM PST by razorbak
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To: fml
I must say, I didn't find this very humorous.
32 posted on 03/29/2003 1:12:42 PM PST by kimmie7 (TIME TO TAKE THE GLOVES OFF!!!)
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To: seeker41
Did you see the pentagon briefing today? They showed pictures of the chemical attack on kurdish civilians. One of the pictures was horrible. A woman had actually scratched her face off from the chemical irritation to her skin. It was just terrible. Not humorous. It was meant to refute the suggestion by the press that the pentagon is surpised by the brutality of the Iraqi militia. How can you be surpised when you know about this?
33 posted on 03/29/2003 1:28:38 PM PST by virgil
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To: Dog Gone
Okay, thanks for the info. I was certainly skeptical until independently verified............
34 posted on 03/29/2003 1:32:18 PM PST by RightOnGOP
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To: virgil
I saw her face, too. Absolutely ghastly.
If only she was on the front pages of major newspapers here. Sigh....
I hope Brit, Sean, and O'Reilly show her photo.
In fact, I'd like to get ahold of it and turn it into a sign.
35 posted on 03/29/2003 2:01:49 PM PST by jigsaw (God Bless Our Troops!)
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To: razorbak
You're right, it would be funny if it weren't so close to reality. Saddam is not persecuting Christians, he's persecuting everyone, in ways more horrible than this.
36 posted on 03/29/2003 3:40:48 PM PST by xm177e2 (Stalinists, Maoists, Ba'athists, Pacifists: Why are they always on the same side?)
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