[Cachelot]

the minute you try to unlock yourself, I'm gonna arrest you.

No need for threats. Just weld the locked links together and let stew. Hope for freezing nights.

[Alberta's Child]

I once read a story of a legendary old baseball umpire who was once confronted on the field by an irate batter who had just been called out on strikes. The batter yelled at the umpire for a few seconds, then hurled his bat straight up in the air in a fit of rage.

The umpire calmly took off his mask, looked up at the bat as it arced through the air, and said to the hitter: "Son, if that bat comes back down here I'm throwing you out of the game."