Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He'd have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and sport a Rangers top.
Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would address him as Wanky-Nobby.
Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone from the East End of Glasgow said. He would regularly get beaten up for being a 'greetin-faced poof fae Milngavie'.
The Millenium Falcon would have static strips, tinted windscreens and extra-flared exhaust ports. It would have a Daily Record I Love Scotland sticker in the back window and a saltire bumper sticker.
The best way to destroy the Death Star would not turn out to be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be - alter its orbit so it passed through Bridgeton and tell the locals it was full of kafflicks, or - leave it unattended in Easterhouse.
Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-
Han Solo
"I've got a real bad feeling about this"
"Ah'm shitin' ma sel' here boy"
"Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."
"Come right ahead then c**ts! Fight the f**ing lot o ye!"
"There's no mystical energy field which controls my destiny."
The Force?!! D'youse think ah came doon wi the rain?!"
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
"Nae messin aboot wi the god squad and auld rubbish, wee man. Get yersel' a decent shooter"
Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker:
"The Force is strong in this one"
"Stop shooglin' ya wee b*stad!"
Princess Leia: "You're a little short for a Stormtrooper aren't you?"
"Ah didny think they took short-erses in the polis?"
"This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade."
"Wuv goat NAE chance in this pile o' sh*te"
Admiral Motti:
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader."
"You think you're that hard, Vader so ye do. Well we're no feart ae you!"
Obi Wan:
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force."
"F*** me! whit wiz aw that?"
Luke to the Emperor:
"Your overconfidence is your weakness."
"Oh ye bloody think so?, i'll make you feel the f***ing force pal!!"
DH Lawrence once wrote: "The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic and a killer. And it has never yet melted."
He wasn't talking about Quakers, or Germans, or Italians, or what all. He was talking about the Scots-Irish. Lean, mean-spirited men who settled the borders beyond the appalachians. A yankee came down south in the (18)30's, and was appalled to see a jury seated in which only six men had both eyes. The others had had them gouged out in fist-fights.
Low-land Scots founded universities, and developed marvelous engineering techniques- I do not know, but I suspect, that most of the Black Watch are High-landers, as were the progenitors of our "Hard/Isolate/Stoic et. cet. Americans." to whom DH was referring.
Right now lots and lots of these men are cocked, locked, and ready to rock. They are coming to town, and they are bringing Hell with them.
But since WHEN, 4deuce, are there a buncha Keelies inna Black Watch?
(Yeah, I know, since my teuchter ancestors were all cleared for sheep.) :-D
My dad served with the 79th Camerons, and he knows a lot of jokes that begin, "See you, there was this captain inna Black Watch . . . "