Black Watch to spearhead assault

THEIR battle honours read like a history of Britain’s glorious military past; Waterloo, Balaclava, Sebastopol, the Somme, Arras, Ypres, Crete, El Alamein.

Wherever Scotland’s Black Watch have been called to serve, they have distinguished themselves with a bravery that has inspired fear in enemies and respect among all those who have served alongside them.

Now the Black Watch is preparing to take its place at the forefront of another great military campaign.

As part of the legendary 7th Armoured Brigade - the Desert Rats - and under the command of Lieutenant Colonel Mike Riddell-Webster, they will play a key role in the events which will unfold over the coming days.

For weeks, they have been preparing for this moment at their temporary home in northern Kuwait, a mere 25 kilometres from the Iraqi border.

Camped out in a vast area of desert, they have grown used to the suffocating heat, the dust storms and the privations of life far away from the comforts of home.

Above their heads has been the constant sound of whirring helicopters and jets tearing across the sky. The desert has been alive with the noise of tanks, armoured personnel carriers, and all the other vehicles that make up the formidable battle group stretched out facing the Iraqi border.

As the 1,100 troops and 50 Warrior armoured vehicles prepare to engage, they know they could have done no more to get ready.

In front of them is an Iraqi army dug in to defensive positions which they must overrun quickly if they are to achieve their objectives. Those inside the armoured vehicles are under no illusions about what they are taking on. The Iraqi army may not be as well-equipped and trained to such a peak of readiness as the British and US forces, their morale might not be as high, but they have the advantage of numbers and few among the Black Watch believe all their number will return home alive.

Not everyone who will go into battle wearing the red hackle of the Black Watch believes theirs is a just cause. The debate among the troops has been earnest and impassioned: some have railed against the politicians who have sent them to a foreign country to fight against people with whom they have no quarrel. Some, making the last call home to loved ones, fear for the Iraqi children as they would for their own.

Others have looked forward with enthusiasm to the moment the bombs begin to fall, standing outside their tents over the last few evenings in the hope of seeing the first flashes of explosions out in the darkness beyond the lights of the oilfields of Kuwait.

They display mixed emotions, from nervousness to bluff confidence. Others have no words at all.

Yet whatever their emotions, all understand they are professional soldiers who have chosen this path. When they joined the Black Watch, they knew at times they could be asked to do things they might find disturbing, even distressing, in the regiment’s name.

Formed in 1725 when six companies of Highlanders were raised to keep watch on the Highlands, they took their name An Freiceadan Dubh - the Black Watch - from the dark tartan they wore. When they fought for the first time in battle in 1743 at Fontenoy in Flanders, the enemy reported that "the Highland furies ... rushed in more violently than sea in a storm".

Renamed in 1749 as the 42nd Regiment, at Waterloo they were singled out by the Duke of Wellington for their bravery at Quatre Bras. In the Crimea, they fought at Alma, Balaclava and Sebastopol.

In 1861 the name The Black Watch was formally approved by Queen Victoria and the regiment went on to serve around the empire.

During the First World War, they fought at Marne, Aisne and Ypres, Givenchy, Neuve Chappell and Festubert. At Loos, one general who saw their dead lying so thick that it was difficult to place a foot between them confessed his amazement "when I thought of the unconquerable, irresistible spirit which the men must possess to have enabled them to continue their advance after such losses".

Now, more than 80 years later, they will be called upon to display that same rare bravery again.

Wherever Scotland?s Black Watch have been called to serve, they have distinguished themselves with a bravery that has inspired fear in enemies and respect among all those who have served alongside them.

Now the Black Watch is preparing to take its place at the forefront of another great military campaign.

For weeks, they have been preparing for this moment at their temporary home in northern Kuwait, a mere 25 kilometres from the Iraqi border.

Countdown Ongoing:....TICK,.....TICK,......TICK,......TICK,.......TICKING

If Star Wars were set in Glasgow... Darth Vader would referred to as 'Auld Helmet Heid' or in moments of stress 'That Dome-Heided Basturd'.

Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He'd have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and sport a Rangers top.

Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would address him as Wanky-Nobby.

Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone from the East End of Glasgow said. He would regularly get beaten up for being a 'greetin-faced poof fae Milngavie'.

The Millenium Falcon would have static strips, tinted windscreens and extra-flared exhaust ports. It would have a Daily Record I Love Scotland sticker in the back window and a saltire bumper sticker.

The best way to destroy the Death Star would not turn out to be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be - alter its orbit so it passed through Bridgeton and tell the locals it was full of kafflicks, or - leave it unattended in Easterhouse.

Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-

Han Solo
"I've got a real bad feeling about this"
"Ah'm shitin' ma sel' here boy"

"Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."
"Come right ahead then c**ts! Fight the f**ing lot o ye!"

"There's no mystical energy field which controls my destiny."
The Force?!! D'youse think ah came doon wi the rain?!"

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
"Nae messin aboot wi the god squad and auld rubbish, wee man. Get yersel' a decent shooter"

Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker:
"The Force is strong in this one"
"Stop shooglin' ya wee b*stad!"

Princess Leia: "You're a little short for a Stormtrooper aren't you?"
"Ah didny think they took short-erses in the polis?"

"This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade."
"Wuv goat NAE chance in this pile o' sh*te"

Admiral Motti:
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader."
"You think you're that hard, Vader so ye do. Well we're no feart ae you!"

Obi Wan:
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force."
"F*** me! whit wiz aw that?"

Luke to the Emperor:
"Your overconfidence is your weakness."
"Oh ye bloody think so?, i'll make you feel the f***ing force pal!!"

DH Lawrence once wrote: "The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic and a killer. And it has never yet melted."

He wasn't talking about Quakers, or Germans, or Italians, or what all. He was talking about the Scots-Irish. Lean, mean-spirited men who settled the borders beyond the appalachians. A yankee came down south in the (18)30's, and was appalled to see a jury seated in which only six men had both eyes. The others had had them gouged out in fist-fights.

Low-land Scots founded universities, and developed marvelous engineering techniques- I do not know, but I suspect, that most of the Black Watch are High-landers, as were the progenitors of our "Hard/Isolate/Stoic et. cet. Americans." to whom DH was referring.

Right now lots and lots of these men are cocked, locked, and ready to rock. They are coming to town, and they are bringing Hell with them.

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