Word is made flesh as God reveals himself... as a fish

The Observer (U.K.) ^ | 03/16/03 | Edward Helmore

[Pokey78]

An obscure Jewish sect in New York has been gripped in awe by what it believes to be a mystical visitation by a 20lb carp that was heard shouting in Hebrew, in what many Jews worldwide are hailing as a modern miracle.

Many of the 7,000-member Skver sect of Hasidim in New Square, 30 miles north of Manhattan, believe God has revealed himself in fish form.

According to two fish-cutters at the New Square Fish Market, the carp was about to be slaughtered and made into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner when it suddenly began shouting apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew.

Many believe the carp was channelling the troubled soul of a revered community elder who recently died; others say it was God. The only witnesses to the mystical show were Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid with 11 children, and his co-worker, Luis Nivelo. They say that on 28 January at 4pm they were about to club the carp on the head when it began yelling.

Nivelo, a Gentile who does not understand Hebrew, was so shocked at the sight of a fish talking in any language that he fell over. He ran into the front of the store screaming: 'It's the Devil! The Devil is here!' Then the shop owner heard it shouting warnings and commands too.

'It said "Tzaruch shemirah" and "Hasof bah",' he told the New York Times, 'which essentially means that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is near.'

The animated carp commanded Rosen to pray and study the Torah. Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

However, word spread far and wide and Nivelo complains he has been plagued by phone calls from as far away as London and Israel. The story has since been amplified by repetition and some now believe the fish's outburst was a warning about the dangers of the impending war in Iraq.

Some say they fear the born-again President Bush believes he is preparing the world for the Second Coming of Christ, and war in Iraq is just the opening salvo in the battle of Armageddon.

Local resident Abraham Spitz said: 'Two men do not dream the same dream. It is very rare that God reminds people he exists in this modern world. But when he does, you cannot ignore it.'

Others in New Square discount the apocalyptic reading altogether and suggest the notion of a talking fish is as fictional as Tony Soprano's talking-fish dream in an episode of The Sopranos .

Stand-up comedians have already incorporated the carp into their comedy routines at weddings. One gefilte company has considered changing it's slogan to: 'Our fish speaks for itself.'

Still, the shouting carp corresponds with the belief of some Hasidic sects that righteous people can be reincarnated as fish. They say that Nivelo may have been selected because he is not Jewish, but a weary Nivelo told the New York Times : 'I wish I never said anything about it. I'm getting so many calls every day, I've stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami, Brooklyn. They all want to hear about the talking fish.'

A devout Christian, he still thinks the carp was the Devil. 'I don't believe any of this Jewish stuff. But I heard that fish talk.'

He's grown tired of the whole thing. 'It's just a big headache for me,' he added. 'I pull my phone out of the wall at night. I don't sleep and I've lost weight.'

[Jesse]

I saw this talking fish. It ratted out Pussy to Tony on the Sopranos.

[general_re]

They say that on 28 January at 4pm they were about to club the carp on the head when it began yelling.

Should I be concerned that this happened on my birthday? I mean, I'm not Jewish, but ya gotta take a talking fish pretty seriously, I figure...

[Happygal]

It's fate. I mean, it happened on your birthday, and was posted on mine!!

Ye think they are trying to tell us something?

[general_re]

Happy birthday - I'm thinking that it means that the next time you or I go out to eat, we should definitely take a pass on the fish...

[Gamecock]

Koi vey!

ROFLOL, I will not read anything else on this thread, one ruined keyboard is enough....

[babylonian]

Just proves that not all whoppers are burgers.

[tang-soo]

From the book of Numbers Chapter 22

Balaam's Donkey

21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab.

22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him.

23 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.

24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides.

25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD , she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again.

26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left.

27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD , she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff.

28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"

29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?" "No," he said.

31 Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me.

33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her."

34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD , "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

[Tench_Coxe]

[frei_staat]

I didn't know I could blow that much coffee thru my nose.

You owe me for a new keyboard...ROTFLMAO

[garbanzo]

No - just pointing out that it isn't necessarily weird to consider eating God.

[Jeff Chandler]

>>This story has been floundering for months.... <<

I know, I've been hooked on it.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Still, the shouting carp corresponds with the belief of some Hasidic sects that righteous people can be reincarnated as fish.

So how did the claim that the fish was God come about?

[HiTech RedNeck]

Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

Nivelo was the Christian... Christians have defeated the devil through the blood of Jesus Christ.

I wonder however if Nivelo, teaming up with a Jew with a weird sense of humor, could have pulled a prank through a tape recording.

[demosthenes the elder]

ok, where's the "onion" tagline?

[demosthenes the elder]

nah, more like "Jackass" or "Jerky Boys" or those goofball prank videos you see on sale at 3am.
This would make a great prank - stuff a mini receiver and speaker into a slaughtered pig and have it yammer in Arabic about how Mohammed was the Mouthpiece of God and see what happens when word gets out - the Muslims'd have conniptions.

[Int]

Yes, but the wafer usually isn't flopping around...

[Int]

Perhaps I was wrong to chide you for comparing the Observer with the WWN afterall. :)

[Mudboy Slim]

LOL...I wuz just flippin' 'round the channels last night and saw Jamie Lee Curtis and Kevin Cline in "A Fish Carped 'Hasof bah'!!"...whatta coincidence!!

LOL...MUD

[anniegetyourgun]

They still seek signs and wonders.....

[machman]

Ok, Ok, so the photo is not that rare. ;^)