History of Germany

Me | 3/3/03 | E-Mail

[netmilsmom]

Received this one from a friend:

A Brief History of Germany

1871 - Bismark founds modern Germany. 1890 - Bismark sacked, warmonger Wilhelm II takes direct control. 1914 - Germany starts World War I 1914-1918 - Germany kills millions upon millions of people. 1917 - Germany force peace loving Americans to enter war. 1918 - Germany loses World War I. 1920's - Germans try democracy. 1933 - Germans reject democracy, allow Hitler to take power. 1939 - Germany starts World War II. 1939-1945 - Germany kills millions upon millions of people. 1941 - Germany force peace loving Americans to enter war. 1945 - Germany loses World War II. 1946 - Germans whine about lack of food, America gives billions in food aid to feed them. 1947 - Germans whine about crappy economy, America gives billions in Marshall Plan aid to rebuild German economy. 1948-1949 - America puts ass on line and risk WW3 to save a few Berliners from Soviet hordes. 1949 - F! ederal Republic of Germany (West Germany) established. 1950's - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes. 1950's - German 'economic miracle' occurs while America keeps watch on Soviet hordes. 1955 - NATO formed to protect West Germany from Soviet hordes. 1960's - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes. 1960's - German students protest war in Vietnam and American civil rights. 1963 - American President John Kennedy makes "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech. 1970's - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes. 1970's - Germans form the marxist terrorist group Red Army Faction (RAF). 1970's - Leftist German guerrillas burn, loot, and plunder much of West Germany. 1980's - America spends tens of billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes. 1980's - German leftists bitch about Pershing II missles. 1987 - American President Ronald Reagan ma! kes "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall" speech. 1989 - Gorbachev tears down Berlin Wall. 1990 - German Reunification. 1990's - America spends tens of billions to defend Germany from Islamic hordes. 1990's - Germany stands by as ethnic cleasing occurs in Balkans. 1993 - Germany joins European Union. 1995 - Americans send troops to Bosnia as Germans watch from the sidelines. 1997 - Germans finally send troops to Bosnia. 1998 - Hardline, left-of-left socialist come to power under Gerhard Schroeder. 1999 - American's lead air war to save Kosovo as Germans watch from the sidelines. 2001 - Schroeder offers solidarity to America after 9/11 attacks. 2002 - Schroeder bashes America to distract voters during election campaign. 2003 - Germany sees rise in anti-americanism after several decades of poor treatment from America.

AND YOU THOUGHT THE FRENCH WERE A BUNCH OF UNGRATEFUL B#STARDS?

[netmilsmom]

I searched for this and it did not seem to be here. I loved it!

[netmilsmom]

Oooops, Html can be your friend. Anyone know what happened to the guide? Can anyone help? I'm just a mom who needs to do some studying.

[camle]

uh Germany did not start World War I, the Serbian Black Hand did when their member Princip assisinated the Archduke of Austria. Everybody else got dragged into the fracas by virtue of a myriad of secret mutual defence treaties.

[camle]

neither did Germany "force" the US into World War II. We remained officially neutral, whilst giving lend-lease to the brits until AFTER PEarl HArbor. FDR Felt that while we would go to war to respond to the PH attack, he would include Germany, which declared war on the US at around the same time. It was a political decision to save britain that we focussed on Germany before Japan in that war.

you history, while amusing is hardly accurate.

[leadpenny]

Pretty good stuff. In the long run I hope the rift between the US and Germany is fixed.

FTR, I believe the Germans stood by when we went into Bosnia. They went into Kosovo with considerable force.

[BlessedBeGod]

Here ya go:

1871 - Bismark founds modern Germany.
1890 - Bismark sacked, warmonger Wilhelm II takes direct control.
1914 - Germany starts World War I
1914-1918 - Germany kills millions upon millions of people.
1917 - Germany force peace loving Americans to enter war.
1918 - Germany loses World War I.
1920's - Germans try democracy.
1933 - Germans reject democracy, allow Hitler to take power.
1939 - Germany starts World War II.
1939-1945 - Germany kills millions upon millions of people.
1941 - Germany force peace loving Americans to enter war.
1945 - Germany loses World War II.
1946 - Germans whine about lack of food, America gives billions in food aid to feed them.
1947 - Germans whine about crappy economy, America gives billions in Marshall Plan aid to rebuild German economy.
1948-1949 - America puts ass on line and risk WW3 to save a few Berliners from Soviet hordes.
1949 - Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) established.
1950's - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.
1950's - German 'economic miracle' occurs while America keeps watch on Soviet hordes.
1955 - NATO formed to protect West Germany from Soviet hordes.
1960's - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.
1960's - German students protest war in Vietnam and American civil rights.
1963 - American President John Kennedy makes "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech.
1970's - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.
1970's - Germans form the marxist terrorist group Red Army Faction (RAF).
1970's - Leftist German guerrillas burn, loot, and plunder much of West Germany.
1980's - America spends tens of billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.
1980's - German leftists bitch about Pershing II missles.
1987 - American President Ronald Reagan makes "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall" speech.
1989 - Gorbachev tears down Berlin Wall.
1990 - German Reunification.
1990's - America spends tens of billions to defend Germany from Islamic hordes.
1990's - Germany stands by as ethnic cleasing occurs in Balkans.
1993 - Germany joins European Union.
1995 - Americans send troops to Bosnia as Germans watch from the sidelines.
1997 - Germans finally send troops to Bosnia.

[Rodney King]

I think it's great except for the already stated opinion that Germany did not start World War 1. Camle blames it on the Serbs. I blame it on the Austo-Hungarian empire who oppressed the Serbs, and for the moron prince to parade around occupied territory without much protection.

Anyway, the Austro-Hungarians imposed unbearable demands upon Serbia as a result. The Serbs agreed to almost all of them. Austro-Hungarians attack Serbia. Serbia has treaty with Russia, so Russia mobilizes against the Austro-Hungarians. Germany has treaty with Austro-Hungarians, so Germany mobilizes against Russia. Russia mobilizes against Germany. France has pact with Russia, so France mobilizes against Germany and the AH's. England has pact with France, and so on. The Germans are quicker to mobilize and knowing their perilous position between two great powers (France and Russia) try to take out France before Russia is fully mobilized.

[SaudiDuck]

Based on a little research (and a couple of Stammtisch discussions with West German nationals in the early 80's, I would humbly submit the following additions:

1956 – Germany stands by while the Soviet hordes crush the Hungarian Revolution.

1968 – Germany stands idly by while Soviet horde and four other Warsaw Pact armies stamp out Czech Reform Movement.

[CatoRenasci]

ouncil and the Blockade) and maximize German violations).

So, at any rate, a good chunk of the blame for the fact that no one stopped and counted to ten in 1914 was the fault of the FRENCH.

[CatoRenasci]

To: Rodney King Rodney, I blame WWI on our good friends, the French. Specifically, on Maurice Peleologue, the French Ambassador to Russia. The argument runs something like this:

When Austria-Hungary delivered its ultimatum to the Serbs and moblized, the Russians faced a strategic decision: let the Austrians punish the (quite deserving of punishment) Serbs or moblize to protect Serbia. Nicholas' inclination was to mobilize only against Serbia, because he did not want a war with Germany. However, when Nicholas consulted with his General Staff, he found that Russia did not have plans for a mobilization only against Austria (they had had such plans up until 1910, but they were so outdated as to be useless in 1914), so he faced a stark choice of no mobilization, abandoning Serbia, or a mobilization against Germany as well as Austria, which he, and everyone else in Europe, knew would trigger German mobilzation. The effect of German mobilization, of course, was the implementation of the Schlieffen Plan to knock the French out of the war (with the famous sweep around the French Army on the right through the low countries) during the month or more it would take the Russians to complete mobilization.

But I digress. The Tsar was at that point wavering because he did not want to go to war with Germany. The French president, Poincare, and much of the cabinet were at sea during the critical period, on their way home from a visit to St.Petersburg. The French Ambassador, Peleologue, was the most vociferous hawk in town, strong lobbying the Russian government, the Tsar and the high command (I forget which Grand Dukes) to mobilize. Although the view is not universal, it is considered reasonable among historians to conclude that more than any single person in Russia, Peleologue was responsible for Russian mobilization.

I have long taken that view, but then I am also of the view that Wilson was never neutral in WWI (you have to read House's papers and Walter Hines Paige's memoirs to really understand how much Wilson, through House, worked with Sir Edward Grey to minimize British violations of neutrality (the Orders in Council and the Blockade) and maximize German violations).

So, at any rate, a good chunk of the blame for the fact that no one stopped and counted to ten in 1914 was the fault of the FRENCH.

[fru]

I blame it on the Austo-Hungarian empire who oppressed the Serbs, and for the moron prince to parade around occupied territory without much protection.

I wonder how America would react if, say, the Cuban secret service had a hand in assassinating G. W. Bush. If anything I blame the Austrians for not acting fast enough in July 1914 and letting this turn into an international crisis.
Also I think we've come to see Serbian nationalists and their myth that the Austrian-Hungarian Empire "suppressed" the Serbs (actually meaning: was in the way of establishing a Greater Serbia, later named Yugoslavia) in a different light since the Serbian genocidal wars in Bosnia and Kosovo. Serbia is much smaller today than it was in 1914.

I agree with you however that Franz Ferdinand was pretty reckless in parading through Sarajevo on Vidov Dan day (anniversary of the battle of Kosovo Polje, where the Turks destroyed the Serbian nobility).

The memorial to Gavrilo Princip (concrete footsteps in the pavement where he shot the archduke and his wife) is gone today, BTW. It was ripped out by Bosnians while Sarajevo was under Serbian siege in the early 90s...

[Rodney King]

uh Germany did not start World War I, the Serbian Black Hand did when their member Princip assisinated the Archduke of Austria

Yeah, those Serb bastards just couldn't except being ruled by a foreign power.

[netmilsmom]

Why are you pinging me to a post from March??

[Austin Willard Wright]

Well...the same was true in 1956 and 1968 for the U.S. too, wouldn't you say?

[netmilsmom]

Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were a newbie.
I'm not sure I will have to reread the whole thing.
However, those on the Syria post think you are a troll so if you get banned before I post this, I won't bother.

[netmilsmom]

Bye, troll!

[Michael121]

Read about the Car that the Arch Duke was riding in. Everyone who owned that car was killed in the car or BY THE CAR. 2 were run over as they tried to crank it. It is a good read from Mike Worf's radio program.