Posted on 02/12/2003 7:48:00 PM PST by bobi
I'm losing patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush Terry Jones Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer
I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I!
For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.
As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.
Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.
They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!
And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.
That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.
Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.
Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.
Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out.
My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.
Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.
It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.
Guardian Unlimited © Guardian Newspapers Limited 2003
Sorry, but I saw no humor in it. Just another MORON spouting a bunch of illogical garbage. Must be another liberal. Toke it up, dumb a$$!
This is par for the course from the Guardian...
Suppose you have a nice playground that all the neighborhood kiddies play in. And suppose a big bad corporation snuck in during the middle of the night and pumped in a bunch of an unknown toxic waste. Too bad for them they got caught and the government agreed to allow them to remain in business only if they clean up the mess totally so as to protect the children. And after several years this big bad corporation has stalled and misled, they've hidden documents and shredded others. They claim its all cleaned up, but they just cant prove it.
Now, a question for the author of the article: do you believe the government should check with the children and see if they are worried and act only if they are? What if one or two of the neighbors feel like digging up the whole playground would make the place ugly and since the corporation says it's all cleaned up there's no reason to do it. Maybe the government ought to just say "look, they say they took care of it, the kids who play there dont think it is anything to be worried about, and some of the neighbors really dont want any cleanup because it would result in mud getting tracked into their yards. And besides, even if it's still there, we cant be sure the toxic waste will ever really come to the surface and harm anyone even if it is still there. And even if it does, well, our kids play in another playground so there's no real direct threat to them so why get involved. We should just let it slide."
Somehow I dont see him agreeing with that result.
I thought this was satire till I got to this line, then I realized this guy is for real. This is the telltale sign of hatred and meanspiritedness that has become the mental fingerprint of the intolerent liberal. That hatred of anyone or anything that doesn't submit lock, stock, and barrel to your cause no matter how outrageous it is. That same underlying cruelty and callousness that enables them to derive so much satisfaction from things like fighting to keep partial birth abortion legal and to let murders walk free from death row so they can kill more innocent people. Yes Virignia, liberalism is a severe mental disorder.
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