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Insane clown posse gets ride to concert from mom
the onion ^ | ? | the onion

Posted on 01/29/2003 12:06:34 PM PST by freepatriot32


Insane Clown Posse Gets Ride To Concert From Mom

ROYAL OAK, MI—Despite last-minute fears of a concert cancellation due to transportation problems—as well as the fact that it was a school night—Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, the shock-rock rappers known as Insane Clown Posse, managed to make it to their Monday performance at Detroit's Joe Louis Arena after securing a ride from 2 Dope's mom.

 Above: Insane Clown Posse members Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope.
Above: Insane Clown Posse members Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope.

"Man, we were so worried we wouldn't be able to get to the concert," J told several social-studies classmates Tuesday. "That would've sucked big-time, because we'd been looking forward to it for, like, weeks and weeks, and all our friends were gonna be there. Luckily, Shaggy's mom totally came through for us, even
if she can be a total b***h sometimes."

The duo, whose The Amazing Jeckel Brothers album made its debut at #4 on the Billboard charts earlier this year, was "really grateful" for the ride, promising to mow the lawn and perform several other household chores in return.

Despite the successful outcome, the pair nearly missed the concert: At approximately 7 p.m., J's mom backed out of her promise to give them a ride, explaining that she had to drive J's sister Stephanie to the mall. When the popular recording group protested, J's mom allegedly told her son, "Maybe you should've thought about how much you didn't want to miss your concert when you forgot to take out the garbage for the third week in a row, even though you were reminded over and over again."

"That sucked @$$, big-time," said J at a poolside press conference. "I can't believe she went so crazy just over some stupid garbage. That s**t was so wack! She played herself like a straight-up b**ch!"

Immediately following the press conference, J was informed that he wouldn't be allowed to use the pool with his friends if he couldn't refrain from using such language in reference to his own mother.

"Sorry, Mom," replied J before silently flipping off his mother once her back was turned.

"Taking out the garbage sucks @$$," J added under his breath.

J and 2 Dope, who describe themselves as "psychotic serial killas" and "mad ninja gangstas," are no strangers to controversy. Their 1997 Island Records debut, The Great Milenko, drew fire from religious and moral watchdogs for its "shockingly violent and depraved lyrical content," and had already been pulled from release by another label. More recently, the duo has come under fire from teachers and school administrators for frequent tardiness, "poor attitude" and failing grades in math class, as well as refusal to "dress out" for gym.

Above: Shaggy 2 Dope's helpful, considerate mom.
Above: Shaggy 2 Dope's helpful, considerate mom.

"It's such total bulls**t that we have to take stupid summer school instead of being in the studio where we belong, just because of some stupid history tests," 2 Dope said. "Summer school is for f**king tools."

Despite the ongoing controversy surrounding Insane Clown Posse, 2 Dope's mom defended her decision to give the group a ride.

"I know some parents wouldn't feel comfortable letting their children perform at a concert like this," she said. "But I know they're just going through a phase. Two years ago, Shaggy's older sister Tracy couldn't stop talking about Marilyn Manson, but she grew out of that. It's important to let them figure these things out for themselves."

Concerned that 2 Dope's mom would insist on attending the concert with them, humiliating them in front of their friends, J and 2 Dope convinced her to drop them off and pick them up later. This was key, a spokesman for Island Records said, because the lack of parental supervision freed the duo to "go totally wild" at the sold-out arena show.

"I made sure they both took a sweater in case they got chilly up there on stage, and on the way we stopped off at the gas station to pick up some extra Faygo pop, which is their favorite," 2 Dope's mom said. "They wanted me to drop them off a block away, so they could go and make their famous entrance from the padded wagon without anyone seeing me. So I just helped them into their straitjackets, and off they went."

2 Dope's mom added that she had taken extra-special effort to wash and starch the pair's trademark straitjackets ahead of time "to make sure they'd look nice for all the people at the show."

Witnesses reported seeing 2 Dope attempt to exit his mother's car without hugging her goodbye, saying, "C'mon, mom, all the Juggalos are gonna make fun of me!" But after being reminded that he was "not too big to give his mother a hug," he relented, eliciting jeers and boos from the many 14-year-old boys present.

"God, that was embarrassing," 2 Dope said. "And the whole way there, she wouldn't shut up about, 'Be sure to call me before 10:30 to pick you up,' and, 'Tone down the violent lyrics: Remember, that's just the sort of thing that got you dropped from [Walt Disney subsidiary] Hollywood [Records].' It was so annoying, I wanted to pull out a machete and just go buck-wild on the b***h's @$$, slicin' and dicin' like a maniac psycho-killa ninja, motherf***a! Yeahh, boyee!"

"It was kind of nice of her to pack us those Fruit Roll-Ups, though," 2 Dope conceded. "Thanks, mom."



TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Michigan
KEYWORDS: 2dope; clown; concert; detriot; insane; jay; mishigan; mom; ride; shaggy; violent
gotta love the onion :-)
1 posted on 01/29/2003 12:06:34 PM PST by freepatriot32
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To: freepatriot32
Sure do:

UN Orders Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections

2 posted on 01/29/2003 12:09:18 PM PST by Wolfie
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To: dead
They are such dopes.......sorry, so dope.
3 posted on 01/29/2003 12:09:30 PM PST by AppyPappy (Will Code COBOL For Food)
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To: Wolfie
There are many things from The Onion that are far above what else is out there in the humor world. But the Willy Wonka story is a Masterpiece. Probably their best ever.
4 posted on 01/29/2003 12:10:13 PM PST by Phantom Lord (No Remorse)
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To: Phantom Lord
Yep, its a classic:

"We are talking about a man who can take a rainbow and cover it with dew."

5 posted on 01/29/2003 12:12:53 PM PST by Wolfie
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To: Wolfie
aw my fave Gene Wilder flick.

don't forget his ground transportation innovations, as well as his top secret video transmission facility!
6 posted on 01/29/2003 12:27:26 PM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: freepatriot32
Excuse me..my eye just rolled under the fridge..can you get it for me..Thanks...
7 posted on 01/29/2003 1:14:32 PM PST by exmoor
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To: freepatriot32
INSANE CLOWN POSSE: You mean the DNC?
8 posted on 01/29/2003 1:21:47 PM PST by BenLurkin (Socialism is immoral.)
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To: freepatriot32
The insane clown posse was passing out free single cd's when we took our kids to the haunted house. I had never heard of them....on the way home, we put the cd in and the first thing we heard was "the F****N this and F****N that"

No wonder they were giving them away..no one would buy them.

GAG

a pic was that same house was used for marilyn manson in a different onion story. :) I knew it recognized it.
9 posted on 01/29/2003 1:22:24 PM PST by Freedom2specul8 (Just what exactly is Chief Moose going to do with the $ from his book deal?)
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To: freepatriot32
it recognized = I recognized
10 posted on 01/29/2003 1:23:15 PM PST by Freedom2specul8 (Just what exactly is Chief Moose going to do with the $ from his book deal?)
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To: freepatriot32
Clowns scare me.
11 posted on 01/29/2003 1:23:47 PM PST by mystery-ak (We paid Snuggles ransom and they still won't release him...FREE SNUGGLES r)
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To: mystery-ak
Don't look here!

http://www.insaneclownposse.com/detect.php

Rolling stone safer
http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/default.asp?oid=2245
12 posted on 01/29/2003 1:37:12 PM PST by Freedom2specul8 (Just what exactly is Chief Moose going to do with the $ from his book deal?)
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To: ~Kim4VRWC's~
Im not looking!
13 posted on 01/29/2003 2:05:11 PM PST by mystery-ak (We paid Snuggles ransom and they still won't release him...FREE SNUGGLES r)
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To: freepatriot32
Don't you need three to be officially recognized as a posse?
14 posted on 01/29/2003 10:32:47 PM PST by BradyLS (The should themselves, A Brace of Insane Clowns)
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To: BradyLS
well they have a dj so that technically makes them a posse lol
15 posted on 01/30/2003 8:19:18 AM PST by freepatriot32 (Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also in prison.")
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