Posted on 01/15/2003 9:32:34 AM PST by Coleus
OK for same-sex marriages sought in N.J.
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
By RUTH PADAWER Staff Writer
More than 200 of the faithful squeezed into the small church hall, applauding wildly as believers offered testimonials of love. One by one, they bore witness to the power of commitments. They were met with hoots and whistles from an adoring flock.
This was no religious revival. Instead, it was a pep rally for gay rights in New Jersey. With a lawsuit pending in state court over same-sex marriage, gay-rights leaders this week unveiled the first of 10 meetings designed to rouse sympathizers from Cape May to Teaneck.
"My name is Alicia and this is my wife, Saundra," said plaintiff Alicia Toby, her hand draped across Saundra Heath's knee, as the crowd broke into applause. For 14 years, she and Heath have been together, raising their children and now enjoying grandchildren. "We pay first-class taxes and we're not going to tolerate being treated like second-class citizens."
Toby handed the microphone to Heath, who hesitated, then blinked back tears. "I'm so nervous," Heath said haltingly. "I want to cry."
From the audience, a man called out, "That's all right. We're all family now."
Monday evening, the mood was jubilant inside the grand mansion that houses Morristown Unitarian Fellowship. Three of the seven couples suing the state sat before an audience shoehorned into the sanctuary's 180 seats. Other spectators leaned against the wall or spilled into the foyer.
The first plaintiff to speak was Maureen Kilian, who squeezed her partner's hand as their two children swung their feet. The children are legally related to each other, and each mother is legally related, through adoption, to both children. But the women have no legally recognized relationship.
"Cindy and I have been together for 28 years," Kilian said, "and we're ready to get married." The crowd went wild.
Lambda Legal - the group suing the state - and the state's Gay Activist Alliance are hosting the meetings to alert their constituents of their plan to push for victories in both the court and the State House. Though the approach is two-pronged, the message Monday night was singular: get involved.
"It is our responsibility as activists and members of the community to support both the judicial and legislative fight," said Laura Pople, head of the New Jersey Lesbian and Gay Coalition. "We are urging people to stay informed, get active, and be ready to respond."
As plaintiffs talked, volunteers worked the crowd, collecting signatures on petitions, and addresses for mailing lists for legislative alerts. The plan is to turn constituents in every legislative district into soldiers in the battle for civil rights and to reach out to other New Jerseyans.
"I'm your neighbor next door," Toby urged people to say. "I ride the bus with you, I sit next to you at lunch. ... I am the face of gay and lesbian America."
The suit was filed in June in Hudson County and is moving to Mercer County at the attorney general's request. It argues that denying same-sex couples the benefits and responsibilities of marriage violates their constitutional right to equal protection and privacy. The state's first response is due at the end of the month; the case is expected eventually to reach the state Supreme Court by mid-2004.
The state's position is ironic, said Mark Lewis, an Episcopal minister in Secaucus who is a plaintiff with his partner of 10 years, Dennis Winslow, another Episcopal priest.
"The state of New Jersey believes we are perfectly fit to officiate at wedding ceremonies," he said. "But it says we are not fit to be married ourselves. It's saying, 'You're good enough to work for us, but you're not good enough to receive what we have to offer.'"
Same-sex marriages are not legal anywhere in the United States, though gay activists have filed lawsuits in several states. In Vermont, gay couples are allowed "civil unions," granting them some benefits of marriage. In Hawaii, the court ruled that same-sex couples had a right to marry, but voters intervened, amending the Hawaii Constitution so state legislators could limit marriage to a union between a man and a woman. In New Jersey, constitutional amendments are more difficult to obtain, but Lambda is leaving nothing to chance.
"It's possible to win in court but not in the court of public opinion," said Michael Adams, Lambda's lawyer for the case.
Already, several traditional-values groups have vowed to fight the suit, though they have called no public meetings and filed no papers with the court.
"If people want to live together outside the common code of marriage - that is, between one man and one woman - that's their prerogative," said Len Deo, head of the New Jersey Family Policy Council in Parsippany. "But marriage is the one institution that supports the family and once you start redefining all these relationships, it becomes a mess."
On Monday night, gay-rights leaders urged support for a bill that Assemblywoman Loretta Weinberg, D-Teaneck, has promised to introduce, providing some marital benefits to adults living in an "emotionally and economically committed relationship."
The plan would cover not only same-sex couples, but also heterosexual couples, such as senior citizens who live together but avoid marriage because it would reduce their Social Security benefits. But it would not change responsibilities toward children, and would not confer joint-property status.
By evening's end, 217 people had signed the petition. The mailing list grew fat, too. Several couples wore wedding bands; a few talked of longtime engagements that will proceed no further until same-sex marriage is allowed. Outside, cars in the parking lot bore bumper stickers with slogans of the movement: "Hate is not a family value."
Unitarian. Hardly surprising, unfortunately.
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