Let me address only the "reluctance" and "hiring a lawyer" part. I've written on FR about being pulled over on suspicion of DUI (probable cause: probably a brief drift while rummaging in my coat pocket for a candy bar), when in fact I ultimately blew a 0.00 on the Breathalyzer both times. The experiences caused me no trauma whatsoever, but they have forever changed my assumptions about how the police work once they suspect you.
In both instances, in two different jurisdictions, I was given the full treatment. Spotlight in the car, flashlight in the eyes. Not good enough: follow the pen. Not good enough: out of the car, alphabet backward, 1-5/5-1 on fingers, estimate 30 seconds, touch nose with eyes closed, I forget what all. And STILL not good enough: finally, the breathalyzer!
Is it in any way possible that I, stone-cold sober, coordinated, alert, could have failed ALL of those preliminary tests? Or even ONE of them? No. NFW. Once, given the full treatment at 2 am, maybe. Not the full treatment twice.
I'm now certain, and will require overwhelming evidence to the contrary (to balance the first-hand evidence of my own) that, once they pull you over in CA, there are certain circumstances beyond your control or performance which dictate that you get every single test.
All this to say that there are therefore corresponding instructions for "the full treatment" for various other suspected crimes as well. All of us here know that the police, as a matter of policy, will first suspect the husband or boyfriend in a kidnap or murder of the wife or girlfriend. I shudder to imagine the full treatment designed and dictated as a matter of department policy for the relentless grilling, intimidation, lies, and mind games forced on the husband in this kind of case.
If it's impossible to perform circus tricks perfectly for fifteen minutes and avoid the Breathalyzer, and then after blowing a 0.00 still get a dirty look from the officer as he reluctantly admits that you're free to go, what chance does somebody they suspect of murdering his wife have in getting fair treatment, keeping his dignity, and even staying out of jail by "cooperating" with the police? None, I say.
So I say "well done" to this husband for trying to protect his rights and his libety as he is allowed to do in this situation. God forbid, if I find myself in the same situation, I'll call the friends & family, call a lawyer, then call the police.