DFU SONG: I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (for dear Ellen Ratner) 12-27-02

DFU SONG PARODIES | 12-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

MIDI - I'D LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING

I'd hate to hear some awful news had just been sent to us
That Ellen Ratner crossed the street and got hit by a bus

It really wouldn't be too good if lightning struck her head
'Cause then, oh my, we'd have to read that poor Ellen was dead

I know we'd freak if someone said while reading on a log
That Ellen had been bitten by a vicious rabid dog

That would be so bad…I would be very sad
Perhaps wanting our troops to die is just a little rad

We'd surely be upset if there's rat poison in her food
And she was foaming at the mouth while screaming in the nude

Would anyone want to see her get dragged through broken glass
She'd bloody up both ends because her head is in her ***

We'd be quite shocked if someone threw her down from a high bridge
And she fell right on Teddy as he emptied out his fridge

[doug from upland]

Song ping list.

[Phil V.]

You always see the WORST IN PEOPLE, Doug.

As for me I try to see the best. For instance Ellen has a name that reminds me of one who feeds on rats. (Ratner is nearly equal to rattler) . . . Snakes can feed on rats!!! See, Doug, it's much more productive to focus on the positive aspects of those we have problems with. I actually do not see Ellen turning on the rats, but who knows? . . . Anyway, it's a nice thought . . . Ellen Rattler gorged with rats . . . I like it even if you don't.

[doug from upland]

SOURCE FOR THE OUTRAGE

Here it is from FOX News:

Helen Ratner, Your World with Brenda Buttner sitting in for Niel Cavuto:

Butner Q: What do you hope happens? [with the war in Iraq]

With a sadistically cheerful attitude, Ratner responded to Butner...

Ratner A: "I hope he[Bush] messes it up, so he isn't re-elected.

Butner Amazed Q: What!...

[dutchess]

Thanks for providing the link to the story. Totally missed this one. Totally outrageous!!!!

[doug from upland]

CORRECTED TRANSCRIPT, thanks to Paul Atreides

My transcript of Ellen Ratner's comment on Your World December 28, 2002

Posted on 12/28/2002 1:42 PM PST by Paul Atreides

I taped Ellen RATner's predictions to Brenda Buttner as she filled in on Your World with Neil Cavuto. Here is my transcript of her comments:

BB: You basically saying that he's going to be reelected, I mean essentially unless the economy tanks...

ER: That is unless he messes up the war....my hope.

BB: Your hope?!

ER: Well, I don't want him to be reelected.

BB: Right, but I mean, 'mess up the war,' what do you mean by that?

ER: Do something that will make Americans say 'Maybe we shouldn't have done this.' You know, that kind of thing.