My condolences to your wife. She must be frustrated to have a husband so interested in other men's sexual lives.
I'm not interested in your sex life in the least. I'm intrigued by your mental illness. Your unrepentant sin and dementia about it are facinating. Bragging on the internet to people you don't know about your imagined sexual pecadillos is a sign of profound mental illness.
You really, really need help. Please seek it before it's too late.
Tell them up at church about your problem, I think they may be able to steer you to a competent mental health professional.