Hollywood Goes To Epic Proportions

USA Today ^ | 11/29/02 | Scott Bowles

[HumanaeVitae]

LOS ANGELES

[HumanaeVitae]

Looks like I'm going to be spending more time in movie theaters over the next few years than I have in the last ten. Looks like H-wood is finally getting the point: enough nihilistic trash about heroin-addicted transexuals, heroic lesbians/environmentalist activists/trial lawyers who Fight The System, or the ever-popular "it looks like a normal family on the outside, but behind closed doors they're really: (a) sex perverts; (b) serial killers; (c) religious people who are (a)perverts or (b) serial killers.

We'll see how they handle this stuff...might be a better culture ahead. Crossing fingers.

[VadeRetro]

Brad Pitt as Achilles. Was Leonardo di Caprio unavailable? Where's Robby Benson when we need him?

I'm just glad Homer isn't alive to see this.

[Burkeman1]

Ditto. The last thirty years have not been good for history buffs. The occasional good film dribbled out now and then but it has been pretty bleak. It is very sad to think that the only true epics I can remember that were produced in the last 20 years were both made by Television in the mini- series format (and both were good entertainment)- Shogun, and Marco Polo.

[Burkeman1]

What the heck is the fascination with di Caprio? I know he is the darling of the 10-15 year old female demographic but he can't act his way out of a paper bag. As for casting this femboy as Alexander the Great? Insane. And di Caprio as an Irish street tough circa 1846 in "Gangs of New York?"- laughable. The same with Pitt- whom I have a tad more respect for- but Achilles? Cruise in anything makes me puke. Maybe I am biased but I don't think one of these guys is over 5'6" in height or weighs more than 150. What is up with this munchkin dynasty of actors?

[Bryan24]

Would LOVE to see an accurate, patriotic movie titled "Our Sacred Honour, the Story of the American Revolution".

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

I thought "North and South" books one and two were very good miniseries. If you can get past Patrick Swayze in one of the major roles, it's very watchable.

[Burkeman1]

I don't remember that one well enough to judge it. I do remember a young and voluuptuous Kirsty Ally as a rabid John Brown type anti slavery fanatic (those dresses showed a lot of cleavage.)

[krb]

I'm just glad Homer isn't alive to see this.

[Maceman]

I think this is a positive trend.

[krb]

I do remember a young and voluuptuous Kirsty Ally

Is that the one where she has to put out for David Ogden Stiers?

[GeekDejure]

Mel Gibson for EVERYTHING !!!

[Burkeman1]

If that is the guy who played "Charles"- the snooty Brahmin doctor from Boston in "Mash"- then yes- that is it.

[Pahuanui]

The same with Pitt- whom I have a tad more respect for- but Achilles? Cruise in anything makes me puke. Maybe I am biased but I don't think one of these guys is over 5'6" in height or weighs more than 150. What is up with this munchkin dynasty of actors?

The average male height of males in the Early Iron Period of Greek civilzation (1,150 to 650 B.C.) was 5' 5.6". I think he Pitt could reasonably meet that standard.

[JimVT]

ALEC BALDWIN FOR NOTHING!

[general_re]

What the heck is the fascination with di Caprio? I know he is the darling of the 10-15 year old female demographic but he can't act his way out of a paper bag.

That's not entirely true. Leonardo did have one (and only one) good turn as an actor, playing a severely retarded boy in What's Eating Gilbert Grape? You are invited to draw your own conclusions from that... ;)

[stanz]

Pitt looks like a bleached out Wonderbread. Not my choice for any mythological figure. Di Caprio would be great in "Little Men" but not as a Greek God. Only American who could pull any of this off would be Mel Gibson, but, alas, even he's getting on in years. Better look to England where they can ACT and are beyond 5' 6".

[HumanaeVitae]

"Maybe I am biased but I don't think one of these guys is over 5'6" in height or weighs more than 150"

True, but the average grain-fed Spartan hoplite was about these proportions...

[Nitro]

They are just changing the time period of their crap...

they will never change the message...

now it will be historical figures being maligned!!

Albeit.. with nudity galore...

it's not like any kid between the ages of 13 and 18 knows anything about history...

it will be the same crap dressed in old clothes!!

[IronJack]

Since Hollywood hasn't had any original ideas in decades, it was only a matter of time before someone recycled the Roman drama genre. If they do their predictably crummy job, we'll likely see Madonna as Cleopatra, George Clooney as Julius Caesar, Britney Spears as Eurydice, and Jennifer Lopez as Electra. Featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Ramses II, and Vin Diesel as his Ninja sidekick.

How about a comedy sendup of The Trojan Women, with the crew from "Dregs in the City"?

Dear Heaven, don't let them remake a politically correct version of The 300 Spartans!