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Martha Stewart vs. the Real Women's Way:

Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow
in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream
drips.

The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream
out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you
are probably lying on the couch with your feet up
eating it anyway.

Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place
an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead
and there won't be any white mess on the outside of
the cake.
The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even
decorate it for you.

Martha's way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish
while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and
it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me
up".
The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while
you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with
me: The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when
putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for
weeks.
The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the
stuff.

Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over
piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy
finish.
The Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie
selections do not include brushing egg whites over the
crust and so I don't do it.

Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut
it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing
will go away.
The Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only reason
this works is because you can't rub a lime on your
forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and
then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is
because you are now BLIND!

Martha's way #9: If you have a problem opening jars:
Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non
slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

And finally the most important tip for the holiday
season......

Martha's way #10: Don't throw out all that leftover
wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in
casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?

Breathe Easy & Have a Great Day