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DFU SONG: Calendar Girl (Helen Thomas is my calendar troll) 11-18-02
DFU SONG PARODIES | 11-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

Posted on 11/18/2002 9:01:08 AM PST by doug from upland

MIDI - CALENDAR GIRL

She's my calendar troll…my own calendar troll
Yes, Helen Thomas is my calendar troll
My own calendar troll
I love, I love my little calendar troll
Each and every day of the year

January…she's knocking the press corps
February…she will give George Bush what for
March…she'll march in lockstep with the RATS
April…trust me, guys, she is a pussy cat

Yeah, yeah…deep down in your soul
You really gotta love my little calendar troll
Every day…everyday…of the year

May…hey, Helen, may I please have this dance
It's June and I am still not in her pants
(July)…I hold her picture in one hand
August…Pee Wee Herman says I might get banned

Yeah, yeah…deep down in your soul
You really gotta love my little calendar troll
Every day…everyday…of the year

September…my heart is broken and it's getting tough
In October I'll dress as Billy Goat Gruff
(November)…it's Thanksgiving and she didn't show
December…I'm alone under the mistletoe

Yeah, yeah…deep down in your soul
You really gotta love my little calendar troll
Every day…everyday…of the year


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: troll
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1 posted on 11/18/2002 9:01:08 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: dutchess; Looking4Truth; solzhenitsyn; Paul Atreides; rockfish59; StarFan; RobFromGa; whoever; ...
Neil Sedaka sings for the ping list.
2 posted on 11/18/2002 9:02:23 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
The DemocRATS calendar girl....


3 posted on 11/18/2002 9:05:05 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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To: doug from upland; Tennessee_Bob; Chad Fairbanks; Howlin; MotleyGirl70; Darlin'; Deb; cmsgop
LOL! This is good stuff!!
4 posted on 11/18/2002 9:06:21 AM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: doug from upland
The conservative's calendar girl....


5 posted on 11/18/2002 9:06:29 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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To: MotleyGirl70
Yes, yes. That's the January picture on my calendar.

Speaking of Pee Wee Herman --- TROUBLE FOR PEE WEE AND JEFFREY JONES

6 posted on 11/18/2002 9:13:45 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
Bunch of pervs! Disgusting slime balls.
7 posted on 11/18/2002 9:16:18 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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To: doug from upland
THANKS, DOUG!!!! Sorry I didn't get to meet you this year in person. Moving away from Claremont this week, back to hot humid Texas.... Will miss all the great LA Freepers I met out here! They are a great group!
8 posted on 11/18/2002 9:16:53 AM PST by buffyt
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To: doug from upland
Check this out...

BEWARE OF FREEPERS!
Link to website: http://www.coup2k.com/helenthomasalert.html

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Conservatives Click->HERE

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MARCHING ORDERS!
SATURDAY, MARCH 3

HELEN THOMAS ACTION ALERT!
SUPPORT THE GRANDE DAME OF JOURNALISM
READ: Helen Thomas' Commentary on Bush vs. Gore

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E-MAIL HELEN THOMAS at helent@hearstdc.com
E-MAIL THE POST-INTELLIGENCER at
newmedia@seattle-pi.com

SNAIL MAIL:
Helen Thomas
The Seattle Post Intelligencer
101 Elliott Ave. W.
Seattle, WA 98119

CALL THE POST-INTELLIGENCER(206) 448-8000

SAMPLE LETTER By Linda M.

Subject: Kudos for you!

Helen,
I have long admired your forthright style of questioning presidents and press secretaries.  Never have I been so proud of you than with your recent questioning of Mr. Bush.  Your colleagues could learn some valuable lessons from watching you and how you are not intimidated by the presence of someone who occupies the Oval Office.

I also want to thank you so much for your article today on the Supreme Court.  I cannot tell you how angry I am at their actions last December.  There is a fabulous article that gives historical precedent to not allowing Bush to fill any vacancies that should occur on the Supreme Court during this term of office.  Should he be elected in 2004, then he would have earned the right to nominate replacements.  Otherwise it would be rewarding O'Connor and Rehnquist for their complicity to choose the occupant of the Oval Office which would choose their successors.
(see:  http://www.prospect.org/print/V12/3/ackerman-b.html)

Helen, one small word of warning.  I've been told that the Freepers have made you a target of their venom and hatred.  That's the nickname for people that follow freerepublic.com.  Be prepared if you start getting bombarded with poorly spelled diatribes, it's not a spontaneous outpouring - it's coordinated effort by those who are obsessed with destroying anything democratic in our country. They would dearly love a theocracy to be installed.  That is something that all Americans who are repulsed by the repressive actions by the Taliban should fear.  We do need that wall separating Church and State.  You were absolutely correct in saying that Bush should not be a missionary.

I applaud you.

Linda M.
Windsor, CA

SAMPLE LETTER By Lynne R.

Subject:  Integrity, professionalism, consistency

Dear Helen Thomas -

I write to you as a long-time observer (and admirer) of your demeanor and professionalism as caught by broadcast media during the filming White House press conferences.

As deplorable as it is that a sitting president should cause to be focused negative attention upon a fair-minded and accurate journalist such as yourself, the further attempts by reactionary, right-wing zealots to paint you in an even harsher light is a galling turn of events.

Please know that I, and many people I know, have the utmost respect for you and the job that you have done and continue to do.  You provide the urgently needed voices of reason and fairness in a time when those concepts seem to be fast fading into oblivion.

Thank you for continuing to be "Helen Thomas" so exceedingly well.

Sincerely,
Lynne R.
Berkeley, CA

SAMPLE LETTER By Di in KY

Subject: Your recent article - it was great!

Ms. Thomas -

I read with great pleasure your article re: the Supreme Court and their recent stand on the last election.  I want to thank you for writing that article and also thank you for the question you asked our current resident in D.C. re: faith based initiatives . It was a great question and I feel was not answered properly.  Of course, he is not the real President - my President is teaching school at Columbia and other schools.  Bush is just living there, taking up space and spending my money, IMHO. 

I am also writing to let you know that I have heard from the internet grapevine that the Free Republic website is planning an all out assault on you, so be prepared.  They are nasty, dishonest, wannabe's who will call you every name in the book - but your own.  So be prepared.  But from my end - I think you are great!

Diana C-H
Kentucky

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9 posted on 11/18/2002 9:18:30 AM PST by ppaul
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To: All
HELEN IS EVISCERATED BY JOE FARAH
10 posted on 11/18/2002 9:22:25 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: buffyt
Sorry. I have not been able to attend FReeps lately. Enjoy Texas. I used to travel frequently to Houston on business and my older brother has now retired to Georgetown. It is about 90% Republican, and he says he is now with "his people." :)
11 posted on 11/18/2002 9:27:38 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: RedBloodedAmerican
My eyes, my eyes.... How could you do this to me on a Monday morning ? LOL
12 posted on 11/18/2002 9:29:21 AM PST by Darlin'
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To: All

13 posted on 11/18/2002 9:30:41 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
Great lyrics, doug!! Helen is definitely in the real life troll category--that's a face that could drop a charging rhino in its tracks.
14 posted on 11/18/2002 9:34:37 AM PST by RooRoobird14
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To: ppaul
Now, that is funny. Our detractors gave Helen some good advice. If she has any doubt as to the effectiveness of a FReeper protest she should give Al Gore a call.
15 posted on 11/18/2002 9:35:06 AM PST by Darlin'
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To: MotleyGirl70
E-MAIL HELEN THOMAS at helent@hearstdc.com
16 posted on 11/18/2002 9:38:36 AM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: ppaul
Thanks for the great addition to this thread. Helen, beware of the FREEPERS!!!
17 posted on 11/18/2002 10:33:20 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: doug from upland
Yeah.
Don't you just love it?
The title, that is: MARCHING ORDERS
The left - a bunch of politically correct, emasculated lemmings that cannot think for themselves.

18 posted on 11/18/2002 10:43:24 AM PST by ppaul
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To: doug from upland
Hey doug. Another great one! But did you have to post her picture??? UGH!!!!!
19 posted on 11/18/2002 12:54:07 PM PST by dutchess
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To: All
Latest anti-military crap from the troll -- CLICK.
20 posted on 11/18/2002 7:47:40 PM PST by doug from upland
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