"English" Notices Encountered Around the World
> > In a Tokyo Hotel:
> > > Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you > are not a person to do such > thing is please not to read notis.
> > > In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
> > > The lift is being fixed for the next day. During > that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
> > > In a Leipzig elevator:
> > > Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit > up.
> > > In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
> > > To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If > the cabin should enter more persons, each one should > press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then > going alphabetically by national order.
> > > In a Paris hotel elevator:
> > > Please leave your values at the front desk.
> > > In a hotel in Athens:>p> > > > Visitors are expected to complain at the office > between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
> > > In a Yugoslavian hotel:
> > > The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job > of the chambermaid.
> > > In a Japanese hotel:
> > > You are invited to take advantage of the > chambermaid.
> > > In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian > Orthodox monastery:
> > > You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous > Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers > are buried daily except Thursday.
> > > From the Soviet Weekly:
> > > There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 > Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were > executed over the past two years.
> > > In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
> > > Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of > repose in the boots of ascension.
> > > On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
> > > Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
> > > On the menu of a Polish hotel:
> > > Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with > cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted > duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the > country people's fashion.
> > > Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
> > > Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
> > > In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
> > > Drop your trousers here for best results.
> > > Outside a Paris dress shop:
> > > Dresses for street walking.
> > > In a Rhodes tailor shop:
> > > Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will > execute customers in strict rotation.
> > > A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
> > > It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping > site that people of different sex, for instance, men > and women, live together in one tent unless they are > married with each other for that purpose.
> > > In a Zurich hotel:
> > > Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of > the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested > that the lobby be used for this purpose.
> > > In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
> > > Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
> > > In a Rome laundry:
> > > Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the > afternoon having a good time.
> > > In a Czechoslovakian travel agency:
> > > Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we > guarantee no miscarriages.
> > > Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
> > > Would you like to ride on your own ass?
> > > In a Bangkok temple:
> > > It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if > dressed as a man.
> > > In a Tokyo bar:
> > > Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
> > > In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
> > > We take your bags and send them in all directions.
> > > In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
> > > Ladies are requested not to have children in the > bar.
> > > In a Budapest zoo:
> > > Please do not feed the animals. If you have any > suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
> > > In a doctor's office in Rome:
> > > Specialist in women and other diseases.
> > > In a Vienna hotel:
> > > In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel > porter.
> > > On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:
> > > To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
> > > Written reply to accommodation request:
> > > "I am honorable to accept your impossible request. > Unhappy it is here have not bedroom with bath. > Bathroom with bed I have. Do not concern yourself > that I am not too good in bath, I am superb in bed."
> > > On the window of a Swedish furrier:
> > > Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
> > > On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
> > > Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
> > > Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan:
> > > Stop: Drive Sideways.
> > > In a Tokyo shop:
> > > Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find > they are best in the long run.
> > > From a Japanese information booklet on using the > hotel air conditioner:
> > > Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of > warm in your room, please control yourself.
> > > From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
> > > When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the > horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
> > > Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
> > > English well talking. Here speeching American.
"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
LOL! I think you are right; some of our troops and vets have surely seen some of these signs.