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Soldiers watch from a half-mile away as the Army burns more than 1 million rounds of confiscated ammunition near Khost, Afghanistan (news - web sites) on Thursday, Oct. 31, 2002. Demolition crews still had more than 2 million rounds of ammunition left to destroy. (AP Photo/Chris Hawley)

More than 1 million rounds of confiscated ammunition explode and burn during a controlled demolition near Khost, Afghanistan (news - web sites) on Thursday, Oct. 31, 2002. Army demolition crews still had more than 2 million rounds of ammunition left to destroy. (AP Photo/Chris Hawley)

MPs ON PATROL — Sgt. Nicola Hall, 21st Military Police Company, Fort Bragg, N.C., and Cpl. Jill Osowski, 972nd MP Co., Massachusetts National Guard, observe a vehicle drive by their perimeter during a presence patrol in southeastern Afghanistan. They are two of the three female MPs conducting missions with infantry patrols in Afghanistan. U.S. Army Photo by Sgt. Reeba Critser, USA

.S. Army Spc. Jessica Briskie, assigned to the Combined Joint Task Force 180, Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan, gives a box of clothing to an Afghan gentleman as personnel from the 44th Task Force Combat Support Hospital, Bagram Air Base, prepare to give clothes and school supplies to the students and staff at Bagram Air Base High School Oct. 30, 2002. The Task Force's home unit the 339th CSH, Pittsburgh, Pa., and the surrounding community donated hundreds of school supplies, clothing and perishables to the children of Bagram, Afghanistan. U.S. Air Force Photo by Tech. Sgt. Steve Faulisi

U.S. Army Reserve Capt. Libby Dillon, assigned to Task Force 44, Combat Support Hospital, and U.S. Army Spec. Jessica Briskie, assigned to the Combined Joint Task Force 180 hand out clothes and school supplies to the students and staff at Bagram Air Base High School Oct. 30, 2002. Dillon's home unit the 339th Combat Support Hospital, Pittsburgh, Pa., and the surrounding community donated hundreds of school supplies, clothing and perishables to the children of Bagram, Afghanistan. U.S. Air Force Photo by Tech. Sgt. Steve Faulisi

An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie (ie. a Newfoundlander). He went to a neurosurgeon and asked "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?"
"Sure, it's easy" replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie." The Ontarian was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the surgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting out 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the nurosurgeon said to him "I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident.

Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain."

The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"

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In Canada we have two Seasons six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

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An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and
nurses present asked him what happened. "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" Said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."