Male Victims of Violence Go Unnoticed

IntellectualConservative.com ^ | October 26, 2002 | J. Grant Swank

[az4vlad]

This is domestic violence awareness month. Even though women are responsible for comparable amounts of domestic violence incidents against men, why is everyone only focusing on violence against women?

In Maine, police discover males hiding in closets and under beds. The officers have responded to domestic violence cases when they come upon such finds. In many instances, the police report, the males are hidden by females they've beaten.

Sick.

In one case, Lewiston officers, doing a routine check, opened an apartment door to hear a male yell, "I thought I was safe. You guys always come on Mondays."

Sick.

Some evenings, police make up to four arrests for domestic violence-related incidents. The female victims are then sent data about local help centers and a team of officers is obliged to make a visit at the home.

In Lewiston, female-as-victim abuse doesn't appear to be going down. Such abuse also seems to be escalating throughout the state--increased by an estimated 10.2 percent.

When reading this, I thought to myself: With 834,000 cases of female abuse against males reported annually by the U. S. Department of Justice, is it time to have community, house-to-house police checks for the benefit of violated males?

What would the officers find? Females caught in the act of madness, screaming and taunting, nagging to the nth, physically assaulting a male, throwing lamps, baiting a male to take a swing?

And where might the police discover the abusing females hiding out--hidden by their male partners--hidden from public view? Behind closed curtains and tightly sealed windows?

And from whom might these males actually be hiding the abusing females? From the nice neighbors? From the proper church folk? From the children's school teachers? From the police officers and town hall board of directors and family doctor and aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers and the rest of the clan?

And why? To keep the males' jobs intact, to protect the family image, to shield the "little ones" from mother's repeated violent acts, to smooth over still another "scene," to hope for a better tomorrow?

What would happen if the males stripped away the curtains and unsealed the windows? Would they then lose everything they had worked for, hoped for, prayed for?

What would be the cost of the truth getting out, that is, that they, the males, were victimized by females who concluded the males could do nothing about the abuse except expose their male selves for total destruction?

Sick. But it happens.

And when it does, will the local police mail appropriate data to the victimized male so that he can derive free assistance from a community agency? And will those officers make follow-up calls to his home to assure his safety?

When is the public mindset going to balance out this act?

The associated press release focusing on twin cities Auburn and Lewiston Maine is sadly another push in the direction of males-are-sole-abusers belief while continuing to ignore the female-abusing-male stats from the U. S. Department of Justice.

Somewhere, sometime, somehow all this has to change.

[Jonathon Spectre]

Scratched-arm ping. ;)

[aspiring.hillbilly]

I can attest to this,,,was lying on the rug watching TV and the soon to be ex-bitch told me to do something in the middle of the show, didn't get up fast enough LOL so she comes over and kicks me in the kidneys. Since she weights close to 300 pounds,, it hurt.

[weikel]

300 pounds... your better off alone then with a porker like that.

[longtermmemmory]

"Females caught in the act of madness, screaming and taunting, nagging to the nth, physically assaulting a male, throwing lamps, baiting a male to take a swing? "

The notion of a female baiting should be taken more seriously. The idea of fighting words is already on the books.

The problem is that judges give out restraining orders like candy. Judges are far to weak to not give them out for fear of retribution from the electorate. Even when restraining orders are limited in time the psychoadvocates petition the legislature for permanent order legislaiton.

Women have it both ways and there is nothing in the courts to stop this cycle of violence. Short of having a fair fight rule any effort to "feminize" men defending themselves from women will only lead to emasculating men even further.

[Dante3]

Boys also receive less attention. A couple of weeks ago in The Washington Times one writer stated that 52% of kidnapped children are boys but they receive much less publicity.

[tortoise]

An impromptu survey of some cop friends a few years back on this very issue indicated that in about 1/3 of all domestic disturbance complaints they investigate, the man is the apparent victim. It is far more common than the impression you get from the media.

[longtermmemmory]

bring back the "slap the bitch" rule?

naaaaa.

[Rocksalt]

But you know,it's always the man's fault.Right.It's time for a men's rights movement in this country to raise it's voice and get some real equality.Men are not always the villans.

[spintreebob]

Statistics are funny things. Domestic violence is highest in couples that use alcohol or drugs
Then gay male couples
Hetero couples who live together after breaking up
Unmarried hetero couples
Least domestic violence is in married couples who are committed monogomous for better or worse. These Couples know they have to live with the other person after the incident and permanently. That knowledge inhibits them from taking anger to violence. The institution of marriage is in itself civilizing.

This is true regardless of nominal religion, education, class or economic success.

[Z in Oregon]

But you know,it's always the man's fault.Right.It's time for a men's rights movement in this country to raise it's voice and get some real equality.Men are not always the villans.

What would be the concrete goals of such a movement?

[Tennessee_Bob]

baiting a male to take a swing?

No, come on, they wouldn't do that.

My ex was into the verbal/emotional abuse. It got to a point several times where I found myself hoping she would take a shot at me, at least that way, there would be a visible mark, something to prove that it had happened. As it is, I'm left with the memories of the crap she had to say. As I move further in time from when she said it, the scars get a little more shallow, and I gain a little more understanding.

[Rocksalt]

I would like it if men had the same parental rights as women,for one,as women are much more likely to recieve custody of children. and i would like it if men started getting a little credit for some of the hard work we do out there in the world. Any suggestion yourself?

[Z in Oregon]

Fathers need to have automatic custody of all theirchildren save where they are proven criminally unfit in a court of law.

[Rocksalt]

Or at least the court system should follow up when a court ordered visitation rights for fathers.Oftentimes a divorce proceeding declares a father to have visitation rights. Then the mother decides she does not feel the father is worthy of seeing his child,or because of other conflicts decides she does not want to let him see the children.Unless the father spends alot of time and money to go into court to get this order enforced,the judge who ordered the visitation will do nothing for him.Women have the ability to get away with these stunts unless the father has the resouces to deal with ther in the court system.If he does,then it oftentimes gets nasty,with the mother slinging all the mud at the father she can muster,trying to tell the judge he's a lousy father,alcohol,drugs,abusive,neglect,etc.This needs to change to a more equal system.It's not fair to men.Agree?

[Z in Oregon]

Or at least the court system should follow up when a court ordered visitation rights for fathers.Oftentimes a divorce proceeding declares a father to have visitation rights. Then the mother decides she does not feel the father is worthy of seeing his child,or because of other conflicts decides she does not want to let him see the children.Unless the father spends alot of time and money to go into court to get this order enforced,the judge who ordered the visitation will do nothing for him.Women have the ability to get away with these stunts unless the father has the resouces to deal with ther in the court system.If he does,then it oftentimes gets nasty,with the mother slinging all the mud at the father she can muster,trying to tell the judge he's a lousy father,alcohol,drugs,abusive,neglect,etc.This needs to change to a more equal system.It's not fair to men.Agree?

Your observations of inequities are accurate.

However, once a father agrees to be merely a "visitor", he has already lost.

RTP, any comments for Rocksalt? Please CC me if so.

[right2parent]

A presumption of father custody is not automatic. The advantage is; the burden is on the challenger to overcome the presumption. This presumption is only overcome by grave and weighty circumstances. If his fitness is not challenged, there is no justiciable issue for the court to evaluate. The "best interest of the children" doctrine related to the states parens patriae powers to interfere where the best interest of the children was in jeapordy. Not as some measure of who was more capable of providing a superior home. The question is: Was there a danger in leaving the children in the care of its natural guardian (father)? It is still the law. Contemporary arguments (brought by lawyers whose primary interest is in perpetuating the business) have avoid the issue that fathers need to articulate.

[right2parent]

BTW, to read something of importance on the issue of domestic violence, see my case, presented to the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down Minnesota's Battered Women's Act because it discriminates against men. http://www.citizensrule.net/BWA%20index.htm (The writ will post sometime today)

[Z in Oregon]

I used "automatic" to mean "presumptive", but you're right, "presumptive" is a more legally accurate term.

[Rocksalt]

"However, once a father agrees to be merely a "visitor", he has already lost."

You hit the nail on the head there sir.I would advise any father who potentially feels he could end up in this situation to not let the mother control the children until his visitation rights are decided.Agreeing to let her have the children until visitation schedules are decided greatly increases the chance of the mother being granted primary custody of the children.