Tuaolo
Posted on 10/25/2002 8:33:55 AM PDT by Lance Romance
Gay ex-Falcon comes out -- but is he
famous enough to change anything?
Bryant Gumbel let me down.
For at least a week, Gumbel has been promoting his HBO show's "coming out" interview next Tuesday with a former NFL player. Speculation sprouted all over Internet chat rooms and even in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, where rumors had been whispered about a former Viking. Who would it be?
Gay folks are always hoping celebrities will come out of the closet publicly. We get downright giddy about a glamorous, male athlete doing so because -- well, because it's never really happened before. And because big-time sports appears so homophobic. And because it would break a lot of stereotoypes about masculinity and homosexuality.
And because, admit it, it's sexy and empowering to think about a rich, famous, good-looking athlete who's one of us and happy to say so.
On Thursday, we learned the player's identity: Esera Tuaolo, a nine-year defensive lineman who played the Super Bowl season with the Falcons in 1998.
Esera Say What? Even football fans had trouble remembering his .
We were hoping for a Joe Montana, but did we get football's Billy Bean, instead?
Bean, you'll recall, came out as gay after retiring from Major League Baseball a few years ago. He has found more attention and acclaim as the poster boy for closeted gay athletes than he did on the field.
Tuaolo |
Tuaolo, 34, said players routinely told gay jokes in the locker room. "They made me go further and further into depression, further and further into shame," he said. He even considered suicide.
A former teammate, Sterling Sharpe, says on the show that Tuaolo would've been "eaten alive" and "hated" if he'd come out while playing.
That's a contrast from statements made this year by New York Mets then-manager Bobby Valentine and catcher Mike Piazza. They said they thought the time is right for a gay baseball player to come out.
It's also a letdown to hear of another person -- pro athlete, garbage man or school kid -- who's torn up about his sexual orientation and is stuck in a hostile environment.
Pro athletics remains one of the worst scenes for gay men, who still fight stereotypes about being effeminate, ineffectual and predatory.
But think about how great an athlete must be to make it to the NFL, regardless of how renowned he becomes. How manly. Clearly, Tuaolo had the right stuff. But he says he cut short his career largely because of the stress over staying hidden.
Would his story be different if he had been a star, as handsome and marketable as Piazza? It would've gotten more coverage than the brief AP item this paper and others ran Thursday. But more importantly, would he have been able to use that status to finesse more comfort room while still playing?
Maybe it's just an extension of the fantasy, but I was hoping Gumbel's interview would describe a happy life in sports -- the fun of being young and wealthy and sought after; a supportive, if discreet, group of other gay athletes and straight friends on the team and in management. Maybe even acknowledgement of deciding to stay closeted at work but being able to find happiness in spite of it.
I hope Tuaolo is happier now that he's out of football and out of the closet. I'll watch the Gumbel show, hoping it gives a brighter, richer view than we've seen so far.
And I expect Tuaolo's coming out -- while not a big-time news story or deep source of titillation -- will nudge everybody along just a little bit more.
So we've established that he had mental problems.
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