Diner raided pub to find HP sauce (HOLD MUH LAGER ALERT)

The Daily Telegraph ^ | October 25, 2002 | Peter Foster

[MadIvan]

An irate diner who accused a chef of serving bottled chilli sauce as "home-made" appeared in court yesterday after he broke into the pub's kitchen at night to check his suspicions.

Maxwell James, who is a also a chef, was so determined to prove his palate had not deceived him that he dressed in army fatigues and a black balaclava and set off in search of the bottle.

Earlier that night, James told Weymouth magistrates, he and his wife had gone for dinner at their local pub, the Ilchester Arms in Abbotsbury, Dorset.

"My wife ordered fish cakes in a sweet, home-made chilli sauce but what she got was fish cakes in brown sauce. I ordered a rack of lamb and got three lamb chops," said James.

"I am a head chef and my wife and I met at a catering college so we know the difference. What we tasted was definitely brown sauce.

"I demanded to see the chef. He told me that they did not have any brown sauce on the premises. Rightly or wrongly, I was determined to prove otherwise."

At 2.30am one of the Ilchester Arms's bed and breakfast guests telephoned police to say there was an intruder downstairs trying to break into the kitchen.

The police arrived to find James peering through the window before he began trying to force the door with a hammer.

Bryan Drew, prosecuting, said: "At the time it was thought the defendant had been trying to burgle the pub. But he said he had had a dispute with the chef, saying he thought HP sauce had been served."

James, who admitted causing criminal damage on Oct 10 this year, was conditionally discharged for six months, ordered to pay £50 compensation to the pub and £25 costs.

"I regret the whole incident now and maybe in hindsight I should have returned the next day to sort things out. But to this day I am adamant that what I tasted was brown sauce," he said.

Adam Thompson, the manager at the Ilchester Arms, was equally adamant.

"The chef was a very good one," he told the court, "and I know that he made all the sauces himself from proper ingredients."

[MadIvan]

HP is sort of like your A1 steak sauce - here's a bottle:

Really, not worth getting in this much trouble for. ;)

Regards, Ivan

[MadIvan]

Bump!

[petuniasevan]

Great discerning palate.

Not-so-great discerning brain.

[ProbableCause]

I remember reading this science fiction novel titled The Diamond Age wherein the author had a long, fanciful list of ingredients you might find in a typical English steak sauce. I think he was probably thinkig about HP sauce. Anyhow, the list included things like "autumn leaves" and "gunpowder". I found it pretty amusing at the time.

[Happygal]

This is funny.
I have a friend who is the executive head chef in a nice hotel here, and he is really confident and proud of his work.

When we dine in his restaurant, we often send a message via the waiting staff to tell Tony to 'open another jar of Ragu, we're having the pasta' *L*
Tony goes mad. But we have a giggle.

[mhking]

"Hold muh beer 'n watch this!" PING....

If you want on or off this list, please let me know!
This has come about after much badgering by you, my friends and extended family...

[jimtorr]

Hmmm, this sounds like something Gareth Blackstock, the main character in the BBC series "Chef", would do.

Gareth, played by Lenny Henry was one of the best chef's in England. He suffered from extreme arrogance and would do anything to prove a point. Do you suppose that the chef in this story watched the series "Chef" too much?

Chef was one of the most devastatingly funny shows I've ever seen. It was much too funny to go on for more than three series.

[RightOnline]

Hey, Shrew.............potential customer? :)

[dennisw]

FWIW Keith Richards is addicted to this HP stuff and orders it by the case since you can't find it much in America.

POP_KAROO 04
... 10 things you may not have known about Mr Keith Richards 1) In May 1969 bought a
19 ft long ... 2) Keith's favourite food is shepherd's pie (with HP sauce) 3 ...
rgmjapan.tripod.com/POP_KAROO04.html - 25k - Cached - Similar pages

[fone]

>>>"My wife ordered fish cakes in a sweet, home-made chilli sauce but what she got was fish cakes in brown sauce<<<

There is something to be said for British cuisine...Fish cakes with chili or brown (steak) sauce? Yuk.

[strela]

I know HP Sauce well - got hooked on the stuff when I lived in London. I slather the stuff on egg and chips.

There are several web sites where you can order the stuff. (One of them also had ginger beer, which is also tough to find in the States).

[FreedomPoster]

Re: Ginger beer.

Take one highball glass, fill with ice cubes, fill 2/3 full with ginger beer, top with Goslings dark rum from Bermuda. Result - a "Dark and Stormy". Good stuff from the Commonwealth!

[strela]

Take one highball glass, fill with ice cubes, fill 2/3 full with ginger beer, top with Goslings dark rum from Bermuda.

Hmmm ... sounds good. Think I'll try that with Captain Morgans - field research, of course.

[boris]

Oh. I thought it was a new Hewlett-Packard product.

[widgysoft]

Could you add me to your Bump list please?

[AnAmericanMother]

The stuff is available around here quite readily (suburban Atlanta). The local Kroger and the local Publix both carry it (those are major national grocery chains and between them hold most of the market share here), and in the ordinary condiment section, not on the "weird foreign food" aisle. (You should see some of the stuff on THAT aisle . . . not commonly considered food in some places.)

It's sweeter, thicker, and also more tomato-ey than A-1. But as far as I'm concerned neither one of them ought to be put on a good steak. Or for that matter fish cakes . . . ugh. A nice pepper sauce or a Bearnaise would be better.

Ivan, I'm so sorry, I LOVE England, visit every chance I get, but the only decent food I've ever had in your blessed isle was in rural Scotland (French influence I suppose) and in ethnic restaurants in London . . . Indian and Chinese. We save our money, eat fish & chips, and spend the money we save on your beautiful woolens and more film for the camera . . .

[Overtaxed]

I take it the burgler didn't find HP during his....burgle.