Court told of sex with traffic cone

scotsman.com ^ | today | AMY DEVINE

[Rodney King]

Court told of sex with traffic cone

AMY DEVINE

A MAN rolled about on the ground having sex with a traffic cone as stunned

youths watched in disbelief, a court heard yesterday.

Ross Watt, 33, had sex with the bollard only because he couldn’t get his hands on his favoured sex object - a pair of trainers. Watt had gone round teenager drivers gathered at an Edinburgh beauty spot asking if they would sell him their trainers.

But when they refused he turned his attention to the orange and white traffic cone and simulated sex with it. Watt was egged on by the crowd who shouted encouragement, urging him to "give it some".

Charles Robertson, 23, a mechanic, was one of about a dozen youths present on Calton Hill, when Watt made his bizarre request. Mr Robertson told Edinburgh Sheriff Court: "He first came along and spoke to us when we were in our cars.

"He approached us and asked if we had any shoes or trainers for sale. He was going from car to car asking this."

Watt, of Robertson Court, Edinburgh, then started rubbing his genitals up and down the traffic cone.

He said the incident carried on for about 15 or 20 minutes. Police were alerted to the late night incident on 3 September at Calton Hill and arrived to find Watt replacing a traffic cone by a gatepost just yards from the Scottish Executive’s St Andrew’s House.

His defence lawyer, Andy Gilbertson, suggested to Sheriff Mhairi Stephen that if his client had been performing at an Edinburgh Festival Fringe show and people were egging him on that it would have been acceptable, but then retracted his opinion.

Watt was found guilty of acting in a disorderly manner by simulating sexual intercourse with a traffic cone and placing members of the public in a state of fear and alarm on 3 September at Calton Hill and committing a breach of the peace.

Sheriff Stephen: "I take the view that the unpleasant and disgusting character of your behaviour that evening in a public area is behaviour that amounts to a breach of the peace."

Sentence was deferred for four weeks until reports are prepared.

[VOA]

A MAN rolled about on the ground having sex with a traffic cone as stunned
youths watched in disbelief, a court heard yesterday.

In the words of Harvey Korman as "Hedley Lamarr" in "Blazing Saddles":

Kinky.

[Delbert]

Nice cones!

[martin_fierro]

Did he wear a condom?

'Twas a conedom, laddie! <|:)~

[Behind Enemy Lines]

Cattle Stampeder: "...Through the Vatican?"
Hedley Lamarr: "Kinky."

Funniest lines in a movie that's loaded with funny lines!

Runner up...

Sheriff Bart: "So, what do you like to do?"
Cisco Kid: "Play chess...screw..."
Sheriff Bart: "Let's play chess."

[Old Professer]

Where is Dan Ackroyd when you need him?

[Redcloak]

Perhaps he has a thing for Madonna...

[tubebender]

You could have saved me a trip here if the title said it was not a female...:-)

[FreepLady]

"Promiscuous cones can be seen on the streets of all major cities. They usually hang around construction sites."

I have seen those cones with my own eyes...and at times I have seen them all piled up together...sometimes in groups of three, four, or more. Disgusting!!

[weegee]

Or Hillary's witch's hat

[steve-b]

I have seen those cones with my own eyes...and at times I have seen them all piled up together...sometimes in groups of three, four, or more.

Remember -- every time you have sex with a traffic cone, you're having sex with all the traffic cones that traffic cone has had sex with....

[DeFault User]

Bollox! He had to boff a bollard because his bagpipe was bent.

[mlmr]

Well...at least he was toppsies!

[weegee]

Never mind the Bolex?

[tacticalogic]

Bollox! He had to boff a bollard because his bagpipe was bent.

Well, at least it was cone-sensual.

[martin_fierro]

I was *this close* to posting that same photo on this thread, saying Madonna had her, um, good points. <|:)~

[weegee]

This Yank tough was the man responsible for the whole ordeal:

He was overheard to say "Sit on it!" and the Scottsman, afraid of the tough, did as he was told.

[altair]

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

THIS is what I expect Bill Clinton to be doing soon.

Not tonight (10/18). He will be at an appearance with Maryland guv candidate Townsend, so he won't need to look for a traffic cone...

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

"I'm too sexy for this street, too sexy for this street, too sexy for it, oh, yeahhhh..."

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

If that dude comes to America, we'll have to hide the orange-and-white barrels!