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Miracle Shirt Turns Losers Into Babe Magnets!
Weekly World News ^ | today | Kay Callahan

Posted on 10/17/2002 8:41:42 AM PDT by Rodney King

By KAY CALLAHAN

LOS ANGELES — Geeks are becoming popular party animals, thanks to an incredible new shirt that makes them seem as sexy as Hollywood movie stars!

It’s called the Party Shirt, and it turns social misfits into irresistible hunks. Early tests show the chemically treated shirt drives women wild whenever they come near any man who’s wearing it.

“I used to get tossed out of line any time I tried to get into a hot nightclub,” says Ralph Jarmel, a 22-year-old convenience-store clerk from L.A. “Girls would laugh at my skinny body and my eyeglasses.

“Then I found this incredible shirt, and it’s like Saturday Night Fever every night.”

The Party Shirt is the creation of designer Amanda Lowson, who’s been testing it in fun-loving towns like Los Angeles, New York and Miami. Lowson combined her fashion sense with a degree in chemistry to produce a social lifesaver.

Lowson says the silk-rayon fabric is treated with male sex pheromones, which are chemicals naturally produced by the human body. Pheromones have been scientifically proven to reel in the opposite sex by causing an almost magnetic attraction through the sense of smell.

“We tested the fabric with a group of homely men and a group of attractive women,” Lowson says. “The women barely glanced at the men when the test subjects were wearing ordinary clothing. But when we had them put on the Party Shirt — well, the women latched on to them so fast you’d think the guys had just won the lottery.”

Lowson, who’s still working on a women’s version of the shirt, says she also used color-theory research. “Many studies have shown that people respond positively to vibrant colors and patterns,” she explains. “Our focus groups had extremely positive reactions to the classic Hawaiian shirt, which caused them to view the wearer as fun and hip.”

“No one ever saw me that way before,” says a soft-spoken 27-year-old accountant from Miami. “Then I wore the Party Shirt to a cocktail party, and the next thing I knew I was dancing with two really hot women.”

Scientists are skeptical about the Party Shirt.

“Pheromones are not some kind of magic potion that wipes out all reason in a woman,” says a spokesman for the Human Pheromone Project in Denver. “Once she sniffs you, you’d better be able to keep her interest.”

Lowson agrees completely.

“The pheromones may just be a confidence booster that helps shy men get over their self-consciousness,” she says.

“Perhaps this shirt just gives them the courage to show the truly magnetic personality they had inside them all the time.”


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: callrobertreich; losers; shirt
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To: TxBec
Yeah Baby!
41 posted on 10/17/2002 9:34:55 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: white trash redneck
Me, too - this week's cover story is the Iraqi sub patrolling Lake Michigan. It's also worth pointing out that the WWN's resident Space Alien has met with the winning candidate in every Presidential election for the last ten years. In 1999 he met with Gore - and then turned on him and met with Bush.

And Bush won. Coincidence? Could be. I'd like to think otherwise.


42 posted on 10/17/2002 9:37:08 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Thinkin' Gal

Hi, I'm Nick Nolte, paid spokesperson for the WWN Party Shirt. As you can see, I was just wearing mine this morning - and have already received more attention than you could possibly imagine...

43 posted on 10/17/2002 9:41:28 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Kerberos
And let me guess you can buy it now for only $19.95, but wait, there's more.

A complete set of Ginsu Knives? Vegematic? A genuine one-step-car-washer-waxer!!??

44 posted on 10/17/2002 9:44:37 AM PDT by VadeRetro
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To: Rodney King
I can see it now. Two women at a nightclub, and one says to the other of a non-descript male in the corner, "Well, he doesn't look that good, but he smells like a winner."
45 posted on 10/17/2002 9:46:55 AM PDT by luvtheconstitution
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To: Tony in Hawaii
If you find out let me know.
46 posted on 10/17/2002 9:56:56 AM PDT by jpsb
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To: VadeRetro
And let me guess you can buy it now for only $19.95, but wait, there's more.

Don't be talkin' about the Party Shirt and Ginsu Knives in the same sentence! The two just DON'T go together!

;-)

Regards,

TS

47 posted on 10/17/2002 10:02:17 AM PDT by The Shrew
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To: jpsb
Is this thing like the "muscle shirt"?

I bought one once. Had to take it back.

There wasn't a muscle in it.

48 posted on 10/17/2002 10:07:28 AM PDT by sinkspur
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To: Rodney King
48 replies and not a word about the French.
49 posted on 10/17/2002 10:10:01 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Rodney King
We need those little fabric softener sheets used in the clothes dryer impregnated (maybe a bad choice of words) with the pheronomes so we can recharge all our clothes.

So9

50 posted on 10/17/2002 10:36:35 AM PDT by Servant of the Nine
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To: VadeRetro
A complete set of Ginsu Knives? Vegematic? A genuine one-step-car-washer-waxer!!??

That's right - just look at all this value! You can't get these products in any store - and within minutes of receiving them in the mail, you'll understand why!

51 posted on 10/17/2002 10:52:45 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Tijeras_Slim
48 replies and not a word about the French.

Forgot to read the fine print on the WWN Party Shirt order form:

"Your results may very. Does not work when worn by a Frenchman."

52 posted on 10/17/2002 10:54:40 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: ValerieUSA
I wonder, exactly how does one make a hormone?
53 posted on 10/17/2002 10:55:11 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: humblegunner
How dare you ask a lady such a thing! Wear your miracle shirt next time, buddy, if you really want an answer.
54 posted on 10/17/2002 11:01:15 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: humblegunner
Stroke the proper spots, don'tcha know!... But on another note, would this shirt be dangerous around homosexuals? Eeeeewwwwww
55 posted on 10/17/2002 11:02:15 AM PDT by MHGinTN
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To: Servant of the Nine
Snuggle Bear would have to tape some new commercials.

Why not just impregnate the bath soap or shampoo? Instead of washing away the body odor, you can enhance it.
56 posted on 10/17/2002 11:05:56 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA
How dare you ask a lady such a thing!

I was thinking more along the lines of manufacturing..

(That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!)

57 posted on 10/17/2002 11:06:15 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: areafiftyone
Does that mean we women will have to deal with a lot of stinky men?

Like that would be something new ? Men sweat (and smell), women "glow".

58 posted on 10/17/2002 11:08:45 AM PDT by katana
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To: humblegunner
*L* I'm telling ya - just put on your miracle shirt and my inhibitions will melt away.....
59 posted on 10/17/2002 11:10:43 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: Tony in Hawaii
"Where can I get one?"

It may be a long wait, Tony. I understand that they are back-ordered due to the excessive ordering by BJ Clinton, Al Gore, and Janet Reno.

60 posted on 10/17/2002 11:15:19 AM PDT by fuzzthatwuz
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