The Differential Theory of Special Operations Forces(Snake Model)
Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operation (AO):
* Paratrooper: Kills the snake.
* Armor: Runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
* Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty . . . Ouch! Hey, that's not a kitty cat."
* Infantry (alt): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake."
* Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake"
* Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
* Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
* SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
* Corps Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. (Cooks, Mechanics, Legal Clerks etc.)
* Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost
* Combat Controller: Guides the snake elsewhere.
* Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
* Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.
This pretty much sums up what the special ops do and why it was so disheartening to read that the Army wants them to look like regular army in Afghanistan. That was a real hit on their morale because it seriously affects their mission, which is to get in and forge alliances. I hope the powers that be reconsider this order. ...besides, I enjoyed seeing the pics of all those guys without shirts. ;-)
Here's one for the bad guys!
