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Posted on 10/01/2002 3:40:53 PM PDT by Schatze
Pre-Sweeps Regime Change Would Be ‘Disastrous,’ TV News Giant Says
In a strongly worded statement to the White House, the Cable News Network warned the Bush administration today that any invasion of Iraq prior to the November sweeps period would be “disastrous” to CNN’s ratings.
“We completely agree with the administration’s goal of regime change in Iraq,” the CNN statement read, “but not until sweeps.”
The news giant, which has had its clock cleaned by the upstart Fox News Channel, warned that any pre-sweeps invasion of Iraq could further destabilize the cable news rating race.
In particular, according to the CNN statement, a pre-November ‘whack-Iraq’ strategy could leave Fox News strongman Bill O’Reilly even stronger than before.
“The whole goal of invading Iraq during sweeps is to defeat Bill O’Reilly,” the CNN statement read. “We hope the administration will not lose sight of this goal.”
The warning from CNN added to a growing chorus within the cable news industry urging the President not to invade Iraq until sweeps, with CNBC and MSNBC having already warned that a pre-November invasion of Iraq could be catastrophic to their advertising revenue.
In other cable news news, Special Operations forces conducting mop-up missions in Afghanistan scoured the area near Tora Bora looking for any remnants of Geraldo Rivera’s career.
While they have found no signs of the pistol-packing newsman’s career as of yet, they warned that their mission is far from over.
“Remember, we thought Phil Donahue’s career had been eliminated, and there are still shreds of that hanging around,” said a Special Ops spokesman.
The fact that I'm trying not to laugh my a$$ off...
Or that I could see CNN saying this.
Maybe he could invest it in the New Jersey Supreme Court so it will rule in the RATS' favor on the Toricelli ballot issue. I wouldn't put it past him and the rest of the RATS.
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