[Maceman]

So far, we have managed to raise a great kid to the age of 4 years old without using corporal punishment even once.

I really don't think spanking is an effective technique for discipline. Not that I think it should be outlawed.

But personally, I just could not smacking or spanking my little daughter for any reason.

I know a lot of Freepers disagree with me. Flame away.

[Eagle Eye]

I really don't think spanking is an effective technique for discipline

It's not. It's for punishment, pure and simple, not discipline, and should not be used in anger.

Your experience and view might be different if you had several kids close in age. Mine aren't perfect, but other parents and coaches talk about how well behaved and polite my kids are when I'm not around.

For those who don't know the difference between spanking and beating then one shouldn't use corporal punishment at all.

[two23]

I raised 2 children to adulthood and never had to hit them. And they were never out of control, or rude in public (or at home). I think that a foundation of well established rules from the get-go, helps. When the kids pushed me to the limit I always found that getting down to eye level and firmly communicating my displeasure was usually enough for them. Kids grow used to idle threats and some may even be bold enough to risk being spanked if they can get the upper hand for even one minute.
I know parents who used spanking and I did not see that they had any advantage over controlling their kids than those of us who chose verbal communication.

[Lee_Atwater]

Flame away.

I don't see any reason why anyone should "flame" you. I think each child needs to be handled on a case-by-case basis. It sounds as if you have a case where physical correction was not needed; that is a good thing.

[Hatteras]

Flaming probably is not necessary here but, 4 years old? Keep your chin up, you haven't even started your descent into the abyss yet.

[Neckbone]

I completely agree with you. Kind of like being a vegetarian, though, the very act of not believing in spanking seems to really offend some people. I have never once spanked my six (almost seven now- I can't believe it) year-old son. Does he get into mischief? I should hope so, that's his job. But what message does spanking communicate other than the effectiveness of the use of violence to force your will on another?

Eagle Eye commented "Reasoning with toddlers. Yeah, right." I think that this is really the line that seperates those who like to spank and those that don't. I would never claim to have successfully sat my two year-old down for a conversation about behavior. Instead I used facial expression and vocal tonality to make my point. He got the point, and it changed his behavior. I'm sure it would've been faster and easier to just hit him, and I think it is this lack of patience that makes spanking so prevalent.

[VoiceOfBruck]

Every kid's different, but my observation from friends and family is that kids who don't get firm discipline as young children turn out to be total a-holes as older children. And firm discipline usually involves at least the option of corporal punishment.

I may be observing the effects of multiple variables, however; parents in my acquaintance who eschew corporal punishment tend to be fairly lax in other forms of discipline as well.

In your case, I wish you well, but with only 4 years of successful parenting, it's a little early to be declaring victory.

[CholeraJoe]

I for one agree with you. My daughter is 14 and has never received corporal punishment. She's intelligent and well-behaved. When discipline is required, a stern word and an explanation of why her behavior was unacceptable gets the desired result.

[ohioman]

It is up to you how you raise your child. I will spank mine only when warranted. But in all, no SOB will ever tell me or my wife how to raise our children.

[Dratlatl]

Corporal punishment may teach a child that the use of force is alright; it can also teach him that for certain behaviour there is an immediate and unpleasant consequence.

In later years, when a time-out is given for an infraction of the rules, it may most likely be given by a judge. (Of course, I suppose plea bargaining is always an option).

I wonder if there lives a bear whose rump was unswatted as a cub. I doubt it. Swatting the cub teaches it how to survive.

Just where did the phrase "smarter than the average bear" originate? It certainly doesn't seem to apply to all that many child psychologists.

[Hank Kerchief]

...personally, I just could not smacking or spanking my little daughter for any reason.

Personally, if I had a daughter, she would have been the most spoiled thing in the world, because I could not only not spank a little girl, I could not even say no to one. My wife informs me, that is why we have boys.

Had no trouble spanking them. Never had to spank any after six years old. They have thanked me for the descipline, especially when they see what has happened to freinds whose parents were too "soft-hearted" to spank.

I know a family that had one boy and one girl. The boy was extremely easy going, pleasant little fellow. He just never disobeyed. Never got spanked. Never neeeded it. Now owns his own business, and takes all the neighborhood kids to the movies on weekends.

Now the girl. Lovely little thing, but stubborn, willful, and defiant. She got a few spanks. She's is now a very successful business woman, but had a few bumps in her teenage years.

Every child and every parent is different. There are absolutely no single rules that will fit every situation. Most parents are very stupid, do all the worng things, have terrible kids, and still, most turn out alright. Of course, this assume there are two parents and they at least try to do the right thing, and are able to shield them from the influence of the public schools.

Hank

[Marie]

I'm not going to flame you. I understand where you're comming from. I probably could have gotten away without ever spanking my daughter. She has a very agreeable personality and she cooperates well with adults. My son, on the other hand, understands nothing but a swat on the butt. Time outs, grounding, taking away the things he loves, making him do pushups, explaining, talking, rewarding; these things are annoying to him and nothing more. The threat of three sharp swats on the butt gets his cooperation, though.

Spanking is one part of teaching a child discipline, but not the whole. You need to talk to them, guide them, watch them and try to help them avoid trouble in the first place. Most of all you need to guide by example.

[wardaddy]

You are lucky. Some children are easy...some are not.