Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen

The UK Telegraph ^ | 9-20-02 | By Sarah Womack Social Affairs Correspondent

[vannrox]

Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen

Working out the difference between chivalry and sexism may be a minefield for men, but most women would prefer them to be more gallant, a survey has found.

While acknowledging that the sexual revolution is partly to blame for the destruction of the old- fashioned gentleman, half of women say men have little concept of social etiquette, politeness or courtesy.

They accuse men of behaving like gentlemen only when it suits them, although that view is held by seven out of 10 men themselves. One in 50 men say gentlemanly behaviour is for "snobs and wimps".

Dr David Lewis, a psychologist, said men who were successful in business and sport were still regarded highly by women. But chivalry and social graces, such as pulling out chairs, carrying the shopping, complimenting a woman on her appearance and opening doors, were often more important than money.

Dr Lewis, author of Loving and Loathing: The Enigma of Personal Attraction, said: "Because more male than female babies are being born, society is becoming increasingly unbalanced.

"This means competition between men for a partner will become fiercer, with men having to work harder to find and sustain a relationship. The British gentleman is on the verge of a renaissance."

The average male could still be forgiven, however, for being confused. Even the issue of wolf-whistling from builders is not clear cut. Women have become accustomed to ignoring ribald commentary and builders are now threatened with the sack if they flirt with passers-by. But many women would prefer the attention and "male honesty".

According to the poll of 800 adults for Glenlivet, the whisky brand, which is opening a male finishing school, it also depends on where a woman lives as to how she defines chivalry.

Women in Somerset and Herefordshire are most likely to complain about the dearth of gallantry, whereas women in London and the South East are least likely to consider it a problem. Overall, one in seven women think gentlemen are quiet, modest and "never brash".

Both sexes thought the death knell for gentlemanly behaviour was sounded during the Sixties. Optimistically for British males, a third of women thought true gentlemen were found only in the UK.

They scored highest for their capacity for chivalry, followed by Japanese men and Italians. American, Australian and German men scored lowest.

Tony Blair is regarded as the most gentlemanly politician. John Prescott came bottom.

[vannrox]

Hum....

[fight_truth_decay]

"The average male could still be forgiven, however, for being confused..." Should be the Title of this article!!!;)

[goldstategop]

Only due to the feminazis, who hate men and want children to be raised by Two Mommies.

[martin_fierro]

Tony Blair is regarded as the most gentlemanly politician.

'ERE! 'E's a bleedin' POOF!

[alpowolf]

Still prefer gentlemen--for what?? I don't know about British women, but the only use American women have for a gentleman is moving furniture. Otherwise they just look right through you, as if you aren't there.

[dark_lord]

Dr Lewis, author of Loving and Loathing: The Enigma of Personal Attraction, said: "Because more male than female babies are being born, society is becoming increasingly unbalanced.

If we are talking about the US and not China where abortion of female babies causes this disparity, the "natural" situation is that slightly more boys than girls are born. But slightly more boys than girls die before the age of 2, and that trend continues into adulthood. By the time both sexes are 21 years of age, the girls are outnumbering the boys. (In the early years, because girls in effect have an extra "half" chromosome, they have better disease resistance. In the later years, boys engage more willingly in potentially fatal risk behavior.)

Therefore, I submit, Dr. Lewis is simply wrong. He has made an assertion (disparity in birth rate) and not factored in disparity in death rate. Bong! Throw him out!

[independentmind]

Gallantry is dead, I'm afraid.

[nhoward14]

Chivalry died in the 60s when a hippie feminist passed it some bad weed....

[guitfiddlist]

Another survey, conducted by confectioners, revealed that consumers want products that can be maintained statically for display - but can be eaten too.

[Welsh Rabbit]

They scored highest for their capacity for chivalry, followed by Japanese men and Italians. American, Australian and German men scored lowest.

That's funny... The British women I've talked to, and American women who have dated Brits, have all complained about how sulky, whiney, and wimpy British men are. Of course anyone who considers Tony Blair a model of maniless judgement is beyond repair.

[SouthernFreebird]

Yea, real sleepers.......boooooooring.

[alpowolf]

Yeah, guys who beat their women up, sell drugs out of the woman's house, two-time (or three-time, four-time, etc) their women, and so on, are just soooo much more fun.

[SouthernFreebird]

Um no, there is a happy medium between the two extremes.... It's called a real man.

[nightdriver]

"But chivalry and social graces, such as pulling out chairs, carrying the shopping, complimenting a woman on her appearance and opening doors, were often more important than money."

Someone's head is sadly disconnected. Complimenting a woman, especially in America, on her appearance, can get you fired and hauled into court on sexual harassment charges.

[alpowolf]

I see your point but I don't regard a gentleman as an "extreme". You don't have to be a wuss to be a gentleman. In my mind, a gentleman, among other things, can fight like a lion and dance like Fred Astaire. I see no discord between my knowing how to waltz, and the fact that I carry a .45.

[Hawkeye's Girl]

Exactly.

[Conservababe]

What a terribly sad and cynical thread.

[Anotherpundit]

The relationship between what women claim to want and what they actually want is tenuous at best.

[Anotherpundit]

The best classic definition of a gentleman is someone who never insults anyone else by accident.

What most people who talk about 'gentlemen" fail to realize is that a "gentleman" can still be rude, cruel, violent, etc., he just only acts like that when he has a damn good reason to. The best example people might be familiar with is Cary Grant in "Gone With the Wind." "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

[alpowolf]

True. Have you ever read Nice Guys Don't Get Laid? (I can't remember off the top of my head but the author's name is Mellon or Meillon or something like that)It's a funny, tongue-in-cheek, but at the core true, look at this point.