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Welcome back Norm...some of us have missed you. |
Posted on 09/18/2002 5:48:46 PM PDT by dts32041
Don't Ask Me Why, But ... (2) Norman Liebmann Sept. 17, 2002
Don't ask me why, but it won't be long before AK47s replace dollars as world currency. Don't ask me why, but no man is his brother's keeper, no matter how desperately Bill Clinton's brother needs one.
Don't ask me why, but the French are incapable of forgiving Americans for the sacrifices they made on their behalf.
Don't ask me why, but the Clintons will finally find a true way to express the depth of their caring about children by becoming a pimp and his "ho" working Sesame Street.
Don't ask me why, but most Las Vegas bookmakers will lay odds of eight to five that Senator Leahy doesn't urinate standing up.
Don't ask me why, but Bill Clinton will eventually return to Washington in his natural role as an ombudsman for needy traitors.
Don't ask me why, but it would not surprise me if Halle Berry complained about the Oscar statuette she was awarded because it did not include batteries.
Don't ask me why, but the Clinton Library would make a perfect annex to the Kremlin.
Don't ask me why, but Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein would have made ideal groupies for Rasputin.
Don't ask me why, but America's best chance of success against Iraq can best begin by divesting itself of faithless allies.
Don't ask me why, but the Civil Rights Movement has become a cancer on American demographics.
Don't ask me why, but if compassion is not just a George W. Bush political ploy, then it has to be something infinitely worse.
Don't ask me why, but the people with the least at stake in this country have the loudest voices.
Don't ask my why, but the perfect metaphor for comparing the relative merits of liberals and conservatives is Hillary Clinton's and Ann Coulter's legs.
Don't ask me why, but it is no accident that Hollywood keeps making films that celebrate U.S. military defeats such as Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down - and any Viet Nam debacle that is a target of opportunity for unpatriotic exploitation.
Don't ask me why, but political correctness is a crock of s**t, and anyone with an IQ of more than one digit will not be bound by it.
Don't ask me why, but in times of stress, the vertebrae of Trent Lott's spine telescopes shut.
Don't ask me why, but if a movie star turned up at the Academy Awards Show with his fly accidentally open, the next day there wouldn't be a closed zipper in Hollywood. (So much for originality in Lotusland.)
Don't ask me why, but the Democrats in Congress will soon propose making Hamas a member of NAFTA.
Don't ask me why, but in politically correct schools, children will soon be taught that the main industry of Vermont is choreography.
Don't ask me why, but in all his movies, Alan Alda manages to degrade the common experience.
Don't ask me why, but Chelsea will eventually settle in perpetuity on her old clenched hairdo.
Don't ask me why, but after you've worked a while in the entertainment industry success and failure begin to feel exactly the same.
Don't ask me why, but politicians who claim to be Bill Clinton's most ardent detractors head for their burrows when it comes time to be counted on the actual detracting.
Don't ask me why, but journalists never seem happier than when they are on television trying to talk over each other.
Don't ask me why, but if not for Affirmative Action, universities would be unable to graduate enough imbeciles equipped to trifle with Existence.
Don't ask me why, but if so many blacks' idea of a good white man is Bill Clinton, it's no wonder they hate the rest of us.
Don't ask me why, but AIDS may be God's way of saying "Enough, already!" to sexual diversity.
Don't ask me why, but every time Saddam Hussein issues a threat to the American people, Al Gore issues a threat to the American people.
Don't ask me why, but as power goes, George Washington used it least - and is the President loved most.
Don't ask me why, but this country deserves better than Berkeley.
Don't ask me why, but it would not surprise me if it was a jealous Democrat who fed the ammo to "the guy behind the grassy knoll."
Don't ask me why, but the first person to be listed in the Guinness Book of Racial Hatred will definitely not be a Caucasian.
Don't ask me why, but TV is ready for a dumb adventure series called Geraldo of Arabia.
Don't ask me why, but among high school girls, cocaine will not replace sperm as the drug of choice.
Don't ask me why, but if success went to Norman Mailer's head, it had to be introduced rectally.
Don't ask me why, but it would save Americans valuable time if movie theater owners would move the candy counters into the rest rooms.
from the cosmic furnance---GOLD/slag---diamonds/rubies/platinum---dust!
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Welcome back Norm...some of us have missed you. |
from the cosmic furnance---GOLD/slag---diamonds/rubies/platinum---dust!
Do you just randomly pick words out of a magazine or book and post them?
Uh, thrilled.
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