You mention being extensively searched/detained in various airports like Saigon and Milan...but not in your very own country. I deplore the idea of frisking an 80-yr-old who is just travelling from Orlando to Phoenix to visit grandkids. I deplore fumbling hands under a 20-yr-old white blonde's sports bra by the same security Nazis who wouldn't dare ask a Muslim to remove a headpiece just to LOOK underneath (yes, these are generalizations/summarizations of different stories I have heard).
You also mention that your wife has travelled extensively and has been searched, "but not as aggressively". I just wonder if your views will change if she is ever randomly picked to be frisked under her bra and she finds it upsetting.