Above: Appropriately dressed for August in Texas, Hearst Newspapers' Helen Thomas relaxes at an appreciation barbecue sponsored by the Crawdad Chamber of Commerce.
Posted on 08/13/2002 6:00:36 AM PDT by KLT
Above: Appropriately dressed for August in Texas, Hearst Newspapers' Helen Thomas relaxes at an appreciation barbecue sponsored by the Crawdad Chamber of Commerce.
CRAWDAD, TEXAS — Despite widespread grumbling among the White House press corps, some reporters have found ways to make their month-long stay in Crawdad, Texas a little more tolerable. And to aid the burgeoning romance between this little Texas town and the city-loving journalists who invade it whenever the president is around, Crawdad rolled out the red carpet hoping to impress the jaded correspondents.
The city jail, which is seldom used, has been converted into a 10-cell bed and breakfast complete with air conditioning (a large fan placed behind a block of ice) and running water (a converted French drain-style urinal). “I've never felt so at home,” said FOX News Channel's Shepard Smith.
The local slaughterhouse, where the media works, has been wired with the fastest ISDN lines available west of the Mississippi, thanks to a gift from WorldCom. And to top it all off, the Crawdad Chamber of Commerce threw an appreciation barbecue to show the media that while most folks in these parts hate them more than fire ants, they don’t hate the media's money.
Many Crawdadians turned out to mix and mingle with the likes of Claire Shipman, Terry Moran, and Helen Thomas and listen to country music as they ate Rocky Mountain Oysters cooked by Harry Howyadoin, husband of the chamber of commerce president and a member of the Crawdad Sons of Daughters of the American Revolution.
“Most of these folks [reporters] think there’s not much to do here,” said chamber president Ima Fein-Howyadoin as she served up a third helping of Rocky Mountain Oysters to NBC’s David Gregory. “But that’s not true. You can go bass fishin’ at Lake Bush, or bluegill fishin’ at Bush Lake, or catfishin’ on the Blue Dubya River. And once you’ve done all that you can try your hand at frog giggin’ or visit the Janet Reno Wax Museum in nearby Waco. Only dull people have a dull time in Crawdad and we want to do what we can to make y'all feel welcome here.”
There was some question about the hospitality of Crawdad after parent Sherri Butoutski complained to local police that the presence of some reporters put her children's—and their pet gerbil—safety at risk. That problem was settled by a special badge distributed to all reporters by the White House that says in big letters, "I AM A MEMBER OF THE PRESS AND MAY POSE A DANGER TO SMALL CHILDREN, PET RODENTS, AND THE 2ND, 5TH, and 6TH AMENDMENTS.”
© 2002 www.BSNN.net /Nathan Porter All Rights Reserved. Reposting to message boards or discussion forums permitted only with this message intact. Any other reposting or use is strictly prohibited.
I didn't want that lunch anymore anyway.
I know, I spit my iced tea all over the PC...this is just too funny!
Nah, who needs lunch...too hot here in the Socialist Republic of NY....
Yeah, some tail...who needs a tailgate...when you can eat on Helen...LOL
Oh, I must go to Alaska I hear it's gorgeous...and I love the cold weather...and skiing...any suggestions Erik?
You've put on a few pounds...
althought I applaud your courage in sharing it with us!!!
At the next FREEP, I suggest you take a pass on the cheesecake!!
Go ahead I can take it!!
And whatever you do, don't look at this post while eating bananas.....what a mess....You know though, I think cheese wouldn't stick to the PC monitor as bad...Wait! Did I say cheese?
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