To rescue marriage, address divorce

DenverPost.com ^ | July 31, 2002 | Al Knight

[RogerFGay]

That's why I disagree with Bush's plan of getting government involved in the marriage problem because when government got involved the problem was created. Paying single mothers to marry will only create problems,

"Yep. This must be an election year. In a July 15 press release Chairman of the House Policy Committee Chairman Christopher Cox (R-CA) and Barbara Boxer (D-CA) announced yet another bill to encourage divorce and out-of-wedlock births."

The Child Support Agenda

[FITZ]

Growing up, no one was divorced in my family --not one aunt or uncle and there were many. It was almost unheard of in my neighborhood and when it happened it was usually the man leaving his wife and kids for another woman, she would be ostracized --and he of course was and they'd both leave the neighborhood never to be heard from again.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

So, on the one hand, he gets what he wants out of the relationship without giving her what she wants,

You're assuming that women aren't seeking the same thing as men. What if all they want is sex?

[FITZ]

Yes and both their families are there smiling proudly, celebrating the new marriage and in the past they would have all been ashamed for them.

[FITZ]

It's interesting because there was even a time when society disapproved of Hollywood and other celebrity divorce and today we don't find it at all shocking how cheaply and immoral they all live. Julia Roberts' many divorces and engagements and Jennifer Lopez's very short term marriages are just considered part of the glamour.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Is this you?

[Red Jones]

thanks for keeping us informed on this issue, and I think you're the fellow who did that great research at ASU.

A fellow I know was recently put behind bars at Indiana state prison because he's 45 grand behind in child support. But the divorce occurred 15 years ago, his kids are 19 & 21, in college, the first wife who has custody of them makes 200 grand a year, the guy's been unable to work due to back problems. His new family lost its' dad. Another friend of mine is also having trouble with the state of Indiana, she had a divorce about 3 years ago, her husband got custody of the kid, now she has to pay 200 a month in child support, but he makes 50 grand a year, the kid lives in a great house with his real dad and new stepmom, my friend is working at dairy queen and having difficultysupporting just herself. The state of indiana says if she doesn't catch up on that 200 a month, then she's headed for jail. The whole thing is insanity.

No parent should both have the kid taken away from them against their will and money taken away from them also against their will to support a child. If people want a divorce, then great, give them a divorce, but don't give them the kids and the ex's money also.

[mlocher]

by a large margin, women leave marriages today much more frequently than men. Men having affairs is way down the list of reasons. Women leave marriage because it becomes less interesting, less exciting over time. A couple of looks at him in the morning before he's shaved and had a cup of coffee, and an evening with him in his t-shirt in the living room -- and it's over. Oh and don't even mention the fact that she doesn't feel as sexy as she did before the children were born.

i will not argue with you. you apparently have done a lot of research in this area. nonetheless, it does not matter which of the genders is more likely to leave. when god is part of a marriage, it has a much higher probability of lasting, "until death..."

[RogerFGay]

thanks for keeping us informed on this issue, and I think you're the fellow who did that great research at ASU.

Oh how I'd love to take credit for Sanford Braver's research. Some of my own corresponding research confirms his, but he mostly dealt with issues that I did not focus on directly and therefore haven't written much about. In other words, I can tell you confidently that his research is excellent and anybody who wants to know the truth about the subject he covers needs to buy his book. Other than that, I'm just the guy who did the under-appreciated work at PICSLT. I'm also a contributing editor for Fathering Magazine and a regular columnist for Men's News Daily.

[RogerFGay]

i will not argue with you. you apparently have done a lot of research in this area. nonetheless, it does not matter which of the genders is more likely to leave. when god is part of a marriage, it has a much higher probability of lasting, "until death..."

That's a question that I have not researched scientifically but I believe you. The fact is that many of these questions didn't really need much research 25 years ago when people were wiser. I'm not joking. Much of the really good research is merely being done to counter the effects of extremist political agendas and propaganda that's taken hold in the last quarter century.

[RogerFGay]

It's interesting because there was even a time when society disapproved of Hollywood and other celebrity divorce and today we don't find it at all shocking how cheaply and immoral they all live. Julia Roberts' many divorces and engagements and Jennifer Lopez's very short term marriages are just considered part of the glamour.

For many of us, nothing has changed in this regard. We still don't care what the celebs are doing with their private lives.

[RogerFGay]

Growing up, no one was divorced in my family --not one aunt or uncle and there were many.

You hit on an important phrase -- "growing up." I don't think as many people do that today as they used to. People seem to take remaining perpetually young for granted. I mean that I don't see much awareness of what growing up is.

[mlocher]

Much of the really good research is merely being done to counter the effects of extremist political agendas and propaganda that's taken hold in the last quarter century.

i agree 100%, but much poor research is being done to support those same extremist political agendas and propaganda.

[RogerFGay]

i agree 100%, but much poor research is being done to support those same extremist political agendas and propaganda.

I agree 100%. I even write about some of them and their extremist agenda and propaganda.

[Jeff Chandler]

You're assuming that women aren't seeking the same thing as men. What if all they want is sex?

I'm not assuming anything. I know that women have been encouraged by the leftist media and academia to behave like men, but that in doing so they are going against their very natures. All you have to do is follow up on their behavior. The men get what they want and that's that, while the women attempt to persue the realtionship further. I see it time after time. Sure, watch enough MTV and she'll believe that casual sex is natural, but deep sown inside it's the rare woman who is primarily interested in sex. I'll repeat this once-obvious fact:

MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.

Some guy even got rich writing a book about it. I think it's titled Men are from Mars, Let's Get Liquored-up, Go to Venus, and Get Some

[Jeff Chandler]

sown = down

[Jeff Chandler]

What makes you think I look like a tripod?