WHAT'S THE WORST CAR OF THE MILLENIUM

Car Talk dot com ^ | unknown date | Staff

[doug from upland]

CLICK HERE FOR ENTIRE ARTICLE AND ALL 10 OF THE DISHONORED PIECES OF JUNK

No. 10 - VW Bus

"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."

"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."

"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together."

"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."

"It was a death trap on the highway-you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."

No. 9 - Renault Dauphine

"Truly unencumbered by the engineering process."

"At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen... which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."

"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."

"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."

"A side impact by a bicycle totaled my Dauphine after only one year."

No. 8 - Cadillac Cimarron

"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."

"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"

"A stupid marketing ploy. Nothing more than a Chevrolet Cavalier, which Roger Smith gussied up and called a Cadillac."

"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."

No. 7 - Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare

"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."

"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."

"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."

"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation."

"Owning a Volare was total ego death--the theme song, the vinyl Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."

Nol 6 - Renault Le Car

"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."

"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant."

"Our Le Car couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."

"I left it unlocked overnight, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."

[BluesDuke]

The infamous grille - and a few of the advertisements used to promote the car (one television spot featured a sultry feminine voice purring, "It's like being in love") - provoked the bulk of those jokes, as I recall reading. The grille was compared to anything from a horse collar (the standard analogy) to a certain part of the female sexual anatomy, the latter provoking such gags as the car should have been called the Ethel instead of the Edsel; or, if an Edsel rear-ended a Cadillac the offspring would be an Edsellac.

The grille was most pronounced on the car's debut lines in 1958, but was understated a bit more (largely by the fuller grille wings on either side of it) on the 1959 models. The 1960 model, of course, did away with it entirely and looked, really, like nothing more than a Barris-customised Ford with the Galaxie 500 body styling and the Fairlane 500 roof, not to mention that Pontiac Bonneville-derived front hourglass grille divider. I think it's been mostly with hindsight that the Edsel came to be considered a better car than it was credited with being. In 1969 there met the first known car club for Edsel buffs and within a few years the Edsel was one of the five most popular collectible cars of the 1950s. A little over 6,000 Edsels total were built between the first production in late 1957 and the final production in late 1959 (for the 1960 models).

Edsel's promotion also included a short-lived sponsorship of the then-popular TV western, Wagon Train, and an even shorter-lived variety show hosted by Frank Sinatra, The Edsel Show.

My call: Ford overall had a decent enough idea in concept when it first conceived the E-car, but it jumped in the pool before they bothered to fill it with water. For the reasons I squirreled out in the earlier post, it is not impossible to think that, with a little more patient development and a little less subtle-as-a-trainwreck promotion, the Edsel could have survived. When the auto industry's late-1950s recession finally dissipated and the midmarket came back, there probably was room enough for the Edsel. Thanks to Ford's haste, the car probably didn't stand a chance. A shame, too. The 1959 Edsel really was a handsome enough and very driveable car.

[BluesDuke]

I know an even bigger joke: the Merkur Scorpio (it looked like a Mercury Sable that survived after driving through a tunnel that was a foot more narrow than the car!)...I still see them once in awhile. And I still crack up when I do.

[BluesDuke]

I remember an old joke about the Yugo that went something like: "Yugo - no matter what color you buy, it's still Red".

Henry Ford, call your office. ("A man can have his Model T any colour he likes as long as it is black.")

[js1138]

I had a '76 Volare and drove it 130,000 miles. Most of te sheet metal rusted through in the first year, and we don't have road salt. Somewhere along the way the floor rusted through for the back seat passengers.

But it ran ok after replacing the carb ($89) plus tax, plus an occasional replacement of some kind of resistor ($3.95), and a couple of starter motors.

The original carburator was junk. The replacement worked fine.

[Zack Nguyen]

I once had a 1982 Toyota Celica. It drove like a tank, and handled like one too. Once I ran it head-long into a traffic light in the middle of an intersection. I was doing about 30 m.p.h at the time, though I was frantically slamming on the brakes. The car was slowed somewhat by slamming into a curb before it crashed into the base of the traffic light, knocking it into a 45 degree angle with the ground. The car still made it home. Unbelievable.

When I got home I felt guilty and called the police and told them I had crashed into a traffic light. The lady on the other end of the line just sighed and asked where. Within a few days it was fixed - and this was in Houston. I was impressed.

[RayBob]

"I also had a Dodge K-Car. When the stop light turned green I stepped on the accelerator. The front bolts holding the seat in place broke. I found myself in the back seat going through a busy intersection. I ended up putting a Domino's Pizza dough tray in the back seat propped up against the head rest to hold it up. "

My parents had a 1981 Reliant K Station Wagon. The driver's seat broke and my dad had to keep a box filled with styrofoam popcorn behind the seat to hold it up. (He used the cardboard box with popcorn because he thought that if he used anything heftier, it would kill him in an accident.) He was in an accident with the car and the cardboard gave way, the peanuts blew out and he was unhurt as a result of the cushioning and release whenthe seat collapsed; otherwise, if the seat had been stury and stayed in place, he would have been killed.

[Don Carlos]

There was a joke going around in 1960-61: Definition of a three time loser - a pregnant prostitute, driving an Edsel, with a Nixon bumper sticker.

I just dated myself, huh?

[Double Tap]

Poor guy, you did the '86 Taurus thing too.

To this day, every time I see one on the road, I have the insane urge to ram it just to give the person driving it a reason to get a new car.

[BluesDuke]

You think I didn't date myself just by knowing about the Edsel? ;) (I was born in 1955 and still remember seeing Edsels here and there when I was growing up. As a matter of fact, when I was about 22, I could have owned a 1959 Edsel Corsair - its owner lived across the main drag in my town and wanted to unload the car, but I didn't have $5,000 to buy it!)

[glorygirl]

Also had a 1980 Citation, in which I had one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. The car's entire electrical system went out while I was driving through the Applachians in the middle of a huge thunderstorm(which later led to a flood)late on a Sunday afternoon.

No lights, no wipers,no fan, no idea where I was or how to get it corrected. Because I was young, stupid and afraid, I kept driving and almost drove into a river. Finally found a mechanic who fixed it for three bucks by doing some rewiring under the dashboard. I had an angel on my shoulder that day.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

A Rambler? You from Colorado?

[Wonder Warthog]

"Yeah...the guy says his Granny in her walker would pass a Falcon...well, if she comes across a Falcon Sprint V8, 289 4spd, 4bbl dual exh, she'd better have a super-charger up her arse!"

Ah, yes-- a friend of mine in college had one---he used to love going out and blowing the doors off Pontiac GTOs.

[two23]

"A Rambler? You from Colorado?

No, I can say I have never been west of the Mississippi...but maybe the car was....I bought it used and sold it to a friend for $1.00. It really was a tank! On the column gear shift...LOL...as teens....anyone who drove these cars were dubbed: "Captain America" Wouldn't it look cool done up in tiger stripe and a 50 cal mounted on the roof???

[freepy smurf]

Volvo 240. Speaking as a former mechanic in an up-scale neighborhood, they were a real pain to work on and the people with brand new Rolls Royces and Maseratis were no where near as hard to please as the owners of 6-year-old, beaten-up Volvos. A Volvo is just an over-priced Volkswagen. The difference is, after 140000 miles (when all Volvos fly apart) a Volkswagen doesn't leave you feeling like a chump that got taken to the cleaners.

[Don Carlos]

In my high school years (late 50's) my best buddy's dad was a body/fender repairman for the Lincoln/Mercury dealer. He brought home a Edsel Corsair (if memory serves). That was the next to top of the line, and had the hottest of several available engines.

That sucka would run! It was Capital "U" Ugly, and controls/switch gear and all were goofy, but it man, would it ever light up the tires.

If his dad, nevermind the dealer, knew what we did with that car for an hour, hate to think what they would have done!

Everyone used to call Edsel a "Horse Collar Mercury"!

[BluesDuke]

Everyone used to call Edsel a "Horse Collar Mercury"!

I have heard others suggest the original Edsel started as a Ford in front but ended up as a Mercury in the rear end, which it actually does look like if you look closely enough, especially at the Ranger and Pacer models. The 1959 Edsel took on more Ford than Mercury-derived characteristics other than the tail lights (which are actually the same style, though mounted differently, as the Lincoln Premier sedan). Others have said the classic Edsel grille resembles a man sucking a lemon. And so it goes...lol

[savedbygrace]

So you turn it upside down and surf on it?

[harpo11]

Any car that Algore, liberals, greens, the California Airhead Resources Board, the California Democrat Assembly and Senate,socialists, commies, enviro-nazis force in our garages and roadways.

[gitmo]

I used to have a buddy who drove 18 wheelers cross country. On one trip, he got pulled over by a cop. He asked the policeman what he had done, but the officer was doubled over laughing. All he could do was point to the rear of the trailer. My friend went to the back. There was a thoroughly pi&&ed-off man in a VW bug stuck under the rear axle. He had been under there for a long time, blowing his little horn.

They had to get a tow truck to pull him out from under there.

[I still care]

We replaced the carburator more than 3 times. From what I understand there was an engineering problem with them. We also had problems with the electrical system, the starter, and the coil. Those were the problems I had early in the cars life. It also rusted to death, slowly. I always liked the car though. I liked the little turning signals on the outside that faced you, and you could see them through your front window. Remember them?