Posted on 07/29/2002 10:41:16 PM PDT by doug from upland
CLICK HERE FOR ENTIRE ARTICLE AND ALL 10 OF THE DISHONORED PIECES OF JUNK
No. 10 - VW Bus
"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."
"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."
"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together."
"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."
"It was a death trap on the highway-you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."
No. 9 - Renault Dauphine
"Truly unencumbered by the engineering process."
"At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen... which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."
"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."
"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."
"A side impact by a bicycle totaled my Dauphine after only one year."
No. 8 - Cadillac Cimarron
"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."
"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"
"A stupid marketing ploy. Nothing more than a Chevrolet Cavalier, which Roger Smith gussied up and called a Cadillac."
"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."
No. 7 - Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare
"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."
"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."
"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."
"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation."
"Owning a Volare was total ego death--the theme song, the vinyl Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."
Nol 6 - Renault Le Car
"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."
"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant."
"Our Le Car couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."
"I left it unlocked overnight, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."
The early 'sixties Renault with the hand crank for its rear engine--got it going at three in the morning in deep snow with its dead battery.
That little Renault rolled off an on-ramp without killing my friend.
The Karman Ghia that ran swell all day at 80 back from Tucson with that blonde--then blew: BANG! clangetyclangetyclangetyetc
An F-150 only eight years old but so rusted by Cleveland the hood blew off at three in the morning going home from Fat Albert's--what a rush.
A '57 Ford which fought hard not to start but was uncontrolable when Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild" came on the radio.
That nasty aluminum engined Vega.
The great '55 Chevy Nomad (if you overlook the automatic transmission constantly breaking).
Another hand-cranker, an early 'sixties aluminum-bodied Land Rover.
A girlfriend's Rambler with the front seats that go down.
A '55 Buick Century so stable it stayed flat doing a donut in the Interstate median (hit a patch of scotch thirty-five years ago).
One of my earliest memories (I was three years old) was my Dad driving home in his just-purchased green '51 Chevy Fleetline. I have a picture of me standing next to it. My Dad really loved that car.
My dealer tells me he has a slue of orders/deposits, sight unseen. Nutso!
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the parts dealer say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Yugo"?
A. "Sounds like a fair trade to me."
Q. Why do Yugos come with heated rear windows?
A. To keep your hands warm while you're pushing them.
Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. What do you call two Yugos at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle.
Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A. Fill up the gas tank.
Q. What do you call a Yugo with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
A. Turn off the engine.
Q. Why don't Yugos sustain much damage in a front-end collision?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Yugo passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Yugo?
A. Park it between two 914s.
Heard a Brit talking on a car show program once say that the reason that Lotus went bankrupt periodically was that....
LOTUS = Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious!
Never owned one - but they do spend most of the time in the shop....British engineering. "Well, they got the Spitfire right". Yea, but that was 60 years ago!
IMHO Absolutely Chevrolet's finest hour!!
So which one was the first?
Don't believe everything you read on the Web. ;-) :-)
I don't. I read your post on the web, and I don't believe it.
I remember the TV commercial for the Monza vividly, and the rectangular headlights were brand spankin' at the time. The other GM models' switch from round to rec were after the rollout of the Monza.
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