Bomb man loses privates

THE SUN (UK) ^ | July 25, 2002 | JOHN COLES

[aculeus]

A BUSINESSMAN plotted to post a bomb to a rival — but ended up blowing his own hands and testicles off with it, a court heard yesterday.

Dad-of-three Jonathan Griffiths, 42, was making the bomb in a friend’s kitchen when it exploded in his face, said prosecutor Gregory Bull.

Mr Bull added: “Griffiths lost both hands and suffered severe injuries and burns to his genitalia and abdomen. He also suffered a perforated eardrum.”

A jury heard Griffiths and associate Geoffrey Wildy, 58, believed they had been defrauded by businessman Ken Jones.

Mr Bull told Cardiff Crown Court Griffiths and Wildy planned “terror and carnage” in Wildy’s home in Brynna.

Mr Bull said Griffiths got military plastic explosive and detonators to put in the letters.

He added: “When opened they would blow up in the recipient’s hands and face.”

But paramedic Peter Griffiths told the court he arrived at Wildy’s house to find Mr Griffiths’ clothing had been burnt away and he could see his bleeding privates.

He said: “I saw that both of his hands had been amputated and I could see the sinews of his left arm.”

Police found Jiffy bags addressed to Mr Jones, of Dinas Powys, South Wales, and his business associate Gary Smolinski, of Cardiff.

Police also raided Griffiths’ home in Wisbech, Cambs, and found more of the PE4 explosives.

Wildy, who was in the next room when the bomb went off, claimed he did not know what Griffiths was doing.

Both deny having an explosive substance with intent to endanger life and doing an act with intent to cause an explosion.The trial continues.

[SSN558]

Everything works out for the best. The bomber lost his hands but he doesn't have any balls to scratch with them anyway.

[mhking]

but ended up blowing his own hands and testicles off with it

OUCH!!!!

Reminds me of an old joke -- How does male redneck birth control work?

Give him an M80 and tin can, tell him to light it, drop it in the can and count to ten.

The redneck counts to five on one hand, then tucks the can between his legs to go from six to t--BOOM!

[Illbay]

Well, it certainly put the finishing touch to HIM.

[dinasour]

A quote from a parody performance review: "He carries a chainsaw, gets good results"

[evad]

I hesitate to ask what the relative proximity of hands and testicles might have been--and why.

Obviously working up a molitov cock tail.

[dinasour]

Ouch!

From a recovering redneck.

[Poohbah]

He is eligible for a SHuT (Stupid Human Tragedy) award.

[boris]

I bet he'll never do that again!

[H.Akston]

Quick! Send him over to Gaza to have him train the homicide bombers.

[TEXASPROUD]

Squantos, this is right up your alley. What is the proper way to use PE4 in a letter bomb? Inquiring minds want to know.

[freebilly]

Both deny having an explosive substance with intent to endanger life and doing an act with intent to cause an explosion.The trial continues.

The Unintentional Bomber....

[rmlew]

I nominate him to be a honorary member of Hamas.

[CyberAnt]

Oh right ... the guy was in the next room ... but he didn't know what the other guy was doing! Give me a break!!

[Joy Angela]

He went BALListic!

[BlueLancer]

"I was busy flickin' chickens
And I was lookin' through the pickin's,
When suddenly these goyim break down my walls;
Well, I didn't even known them
But they grabbed me by the scrotum,
And they started playing ping-pong with my balls.

Oh, the agony ...
Oh, the shame ...
To make my privates public for a game?"

History of the World, Part I
(The Inquisition)

[Orual]

Both deny having an explosive substance with intent to endanger life and doing an act with intent to cause an explosion.

Clutching his, uh, damaged parts with his bloody stumps, Mr. Griffiths was heard to remark, "Something must have been wrong with the directions."

[Drew68]

Please, no one post a picture of this man's face.

Now I'm curious as to how long before rotten.com has pics?