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Who Kidnapped My President?
Omaha World Herald ^ | 7/22/02 | Doug Patton

Posted on 07/22/2002 11:02:09 AM PDT by RepRivFarm

Midlands Voices: Who kidnapped my president?

BY DOUG PATTON

I finally figured it out. All this time, I thought President Bush was trying to outpace his father in broken campaign promises. With a steady stream of liberal ideas flowing from the White House with the presidential stamp of approval on them, I began to think Karl Rove had given up polling in favor of Hillary-style seances with Eleanor Roosevelt.

Then it hit me. The movie "Dave" starred Kevin Kline as a presidential look-alike recruited as a decoy because he bore an uncanny resemblance to the president. When the real president suddenly has a massive stroke, Dave is caught up in a fraud that fools even the first lady, for a while.

That's it. Someone has kidnapped the man we elected and replaced him with a dead ringer whose views are diametrically opposed to everything the real George W. Bush claimed to believe during the campaign.

For lack of a better name, we'll just call this wannabe president "Teddy."

Teddy has been busy promoting big government-as-nanny. The bloated farm bill and the intrusive education bill, like all other incursions into areas where the federal government does not belong, are doomed to failure. But the beauty of self-perpetuating government is that when a program fails, it is never said to be faulty, only under-funded.

Then there is our suicidal immigration policy. I know that protecting our borders was an area where the real Bush was soft from the beginning, even calling for amnesty for illegal aliens nearly a year ago. But post-Sept. 11? Surely not. It has to be Teddy.

Campaign finance reform? The real Bush (at least I think that was him) made a specific promise to veto such an unconstitutional monstrosity. Surely, the consequences of such a broken vow would be fresh in his mind.

Steel tariffs? The free-trader from Midland, Texas, would never have bought into that kind of big-union protectionism. Teddy, on the other hand, must love big labor.

Rewarding Yasser Arafat for his murderous ways by supporting the establishment of a Palestinian state could be dismissed as the influence of the always-squishy Colin Powell State Department. It could also be Teddy.

And what would the real Bush have had to gain by letting Powell go on MTV and tell teens to ignore the abstinence message in favor of "safe sex"? If Teddy is a Democrat, it has to be him.

Then there's the idea of the real Bush actually watching those MTV degenerates, "The Osbournes." Right. Teddy, on the other hand, must be an old Black Sabbath fan, judging by the way the "president" gushed over Ozzy at the White House correspondents' dinner.

As a liberal Democrat, Teddy is a big believer in the junk science of so-called global warming. Hence, the White House flip-flop on that issue.

Recently, a group of homosexuals seeking to change the definition of marriage for all Americans was welcomed at the White House and given an audience with Cabinet members and GOP congressional leaders. The Log Cabin Republicans were assured that their demands would be quietly met. Who is more likely to have perpetrated this insult on the grass roots of the GOP - Bible-believing family man Bush or liberal, anything-goes Teddy?

The president, we are told, plans to veto the bill passed by the House allowing pilots to carry handguns. You tell me: Would the man who signed legislation affirming the right of all law-abiding Texans to carry a concealed firearm have bought into that one?

In a recent speech, the president said the United States would never agree to be part of the International Criminal Court, and he demanded full immunity for all American military forces serving in U.N. peacekeeping missions. He went on to say the United States would begin withdrawing our troops from such missions if that immunity was not forthcoming.

I was so proud. A genuine affirmation of American sovereignty! Could it be that my theory was wrong? Or maybe I was right, but Bush had now awakened from his coma, hopping mad that so many stupid, liberal policies had been enacted in his name.

But, the next day, when the White House quietly reversed itself and said our troops will stay right where they are, susceptible to the whims of international opinion, I knew for certain that Teddy lives.

The writer, of Bellevue, has worked as a speechwriter and policy adviser for federal, state and local candidates and elected officials.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Government
KEYWORDS: bush
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What's a good conservative Republican to do? Even our own elected officials seem to be out to get us!
1 posted on 07/22/2002 11:02:09 AM PDT by RepRivFarm
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To: RepRivFarm
conservative and Republican have nothing to do with each other anymore....just because you are a republican doesn't mean you are a conservative and vice-versa....I no longer call myself a republican...I am a conservative...and I stay home most elections because there are no conservatives to vote for...
2 posted on 07/22/2002 11:08:23 AM PDT by freeper12
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To: RepRivFarm
There is no "seem" about it. They are out to get you. And if they don't get you, they'll replace your voting power with that of the massive immigrant blok.

EBUCK

3 posted on 07/22/2002 11:10:01 AM PDT by EBUCK
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To: RepRivFarm
For whatever reason, Lord, you may find me ready for Your Blessings,
please bless me with Your Grace
to do some part of Your Will for Your Glory,

Soon we will, every one of us, see You,
yet, my extended family is unprepared and easily upended.

For whatever reason, Lord, you may find me ready for Your Blessings,
please bless me with Your Grace to do some part of Your Will for Your Glory.
so that I may find yet more of Your Grace for yet more of Your Glory.

4 posted on 07/22/2002 11:18:03 AM PDT by Taiwan Bocks
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To: RepRivFarm
You forgot Kyoto. That is still with us and the Bushies are in full cave-in mode.
5 posted on 07/22/2002 11:22:49 AM PDT by edger
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To: RepRivFarm
BUMP!
6 posted on 07/22/2002 11:43:42 AM PDT by WyldKard
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To: RepRivFarm
You know during his 1st year he was acting conservative then we are informed Bush nearly choked on a pretzel and kaboom after that hes a raging liberal.... nah its a tinfoil theory.
7 posted on 07/22/2002 12:04:11 PM PDT by weikel
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To: weikel
Are you saying his replacement is an example of "Pretzel Logic?"
8 posted on 07/22/2002 12:10:47 PM PDT by Bandolier
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To: Bandolier
Like Im saying it probably didn't happen...
9 posted on 07/22/2002 12:13:54 PM PDT by weikel
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To: freeper12
conservative and Republican have nothing to do with each other anymore.

Precisely.  Conservatism is adherence to a particular
set of principles.  Republicanism is a means and a
will to political power.  They are not the same.

10 posted on 07/22/2002 2:52:54 PM PDT by gcruse
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To: gcruse
Be forewarned!!!!! I plan to plagiarize the aforementioned definitions.Kudos.























































































































11 posted on 07/22/2002 3:27:49 PM PDT by Patrick
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To: Patrick
Be my guest. I have been making the same point on FR for months.
12 posted on 07/22/2002 3:29:37 PM PDT by gcruse
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To: Patrick
Part of this has been my discomfort with RINO. Republicans doing liberal stuff are doing so in furtherance of political goals, which is the job of Republicans. I think we should use CINO instead, because that reflects someone who subscribes to conservative principles in theory but violates them in practice.
13 posted on 07/22/2002 3:32:15 PM PDT by gcruse
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To: Darth Sidious; 2sheep; Jeremiah Jr; babylonian; Orion; Registered

Who Kidnapped My President?

Could it be... Satan?

14 posted on 07/22/2002 3:57:35 PM PDT by Thinkin' Gal
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To: freeper12
conservative and Republican have nothing to do with each other

Yeah.
The Republicans keep sending me letters wanting money.
I keep sending notes back to them in their postage paid envelopes, telling them that I'm not a Republican, I'm a Conservative.
The dummies won't take me off of their mailing list and save postage.

15 posted on 07/22/2002 4:11:11 PM PDT by RightWinger
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To: Thinkin' Gal
LOL! I sometimes wonder!

Image in my mind of Bush speaking with Geraldine Jones' voice: The Devil made me do it, honey!

16 posted on 07/22/2002 4:14:44 PM PDT by RepRivFarm
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To: RepRivFarm
Geraldine had her hair straightened and bleached blond. She asked her lady friends, in that Geraldine voice, "How do you like my hair, honey? You don't think it makes me look too Polish, do you?"
17 posted on 07/22/2002 4:26:07 PM PDT by gcruse
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To: RepRivFarm

I tell you what this one is going to do.. I am going to become a commodity to be bought and sold in the political free market after November.

I can't stomach anymore of this. After November any tree which does not bear me good fruit will be voted down.

I am sick of being taken for granted and bitch slapped by my own party.

They had the momentum of Newt and they peed it away, time for them to earn their support imo.

18 posted on 07/22/2002 4:34:57 PM PDT by Jhoffa_
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To: gcruse

"CINO" it is..

19 posted on 07/22/2002 4:35:56 PM PDT by Jhoffa_
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To: freeper12
Conservative and Republican have nothing to do with each other anymore....just because you are a republican doesn't mean you are a conservative and vice-versa...

There is a false hope they can replace us with all the folks they are trying to buy out of the rats party

Annex Mexico...give the welfare benefits back to immigrants...keep the visas flowing...give vouchers to attract the minority voters...give prescription meds to the elderly to grab their vote

Geeeeeeeessshhhhh They do not call them the dumb party for nothing

Those voters will all think the democrats did it

Ohh yea do not forget that New World Order

Me ?? I now vote 3rd party or stay home

20 posted on 07/22/2002 4:43:30 PM PDT by RnMomof7
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