Posted on 06/24/2002 6:59:59 PM PDT by Chi-townChief
Even when she was being duped, Ann Landers gave great advice. Just last month, Landers published a letter in her syndicated column that afforded headline writers across the country the opportunity to put variations on the phrase "nude slumber party" in boldface.
In her home paper, the Chicago Tribune, the headline was: "Nude slumber party? Obvious question is, 'Why?' "
Bergen County (N.J.) Record: "Puzzled by a nude teen sleepover"
Contra Costa Times: "Nude party is barely understandable"
Montreal Gazette: "Nude slumber party worries mother"
Toronto Star: "Appeal of nude slumber parties escapes mom"
These were just a few of the hundreds upon hundreds of newspapers that ran a letter to Ann from a teenage girl's mother, who claimed that her daughter had been invited to, well, a nude slumber party.
"She assured me there would be no boys present," wrote Mom. "I called the mother of the girl and talked to her about this party. While the mother admitted the idea was strange, she said she would be present during the party to supervise. She also said her husband and teenage son would be away for the weekend, so there would be no males present in the house. She assured me that nude slumber parties are all the rage these days.
"I have never heard of such a thing and cannot imagine why a bunch of 15- and 16-year-old girls would want to spend 12 hours together stark naked. Any ideas?
The letter was signed, "Baffled Mom in Burlingame, Calif."
Ann replied that she was just as baffled as the mom, but added that "walking around nude may be an interesting experiment."
Yes. It IS an interesting experiment.
Ah, but here's why Ann Landers was the only advice columnist in the country I've ever read with any regularity. She went on to tell the mom, "As long as you trust the mother of these girls to supervise for the duration of the party, I see no harm in it. Meanwhile, ask your daughter why she finds this such an attractive idea. You might learn something."
How hip and happening was this lady!
Now as it so happens, the letter was a hoax. I've had a file on it in my urban legends cabinet for years. Ann's sister, the advice-giver known as Dear Abby, ran a similar letter about six years ago, and it has appeared in other advice columns as well.
But none of the other newspaper counselors ever dispensed such steady, open-minded advice to the mythical mom in Burlingame. Whether it was Ms. Landers herself or one of her lieutenants who selected the letter, the reply was vintage Eppie.
Ann Landers kept up with the world. Whether she was urging Nixon to resign in a speech or using her column to lobby for gun control, support a woman's right to choose, battle discrimination or take a stance against the death penalty, she kept up with the world.
She even gave me advice once, through my pal Neil Steinberg, who returned from a lunch at her home with a message.
"She asked if you had ever been married, and I told her no," reported Steinberg. "She asked if you were gay, and I said no. And then she said, 'Well, you tell him that Ann Landers told him to figure out what's wrong and fix it! He's missing out on the best part of life."
The woman was America's feisty aunt.
*******
Ann Landers lived to be 83, and she had a giant life. Darryl Kile had a grand life going, too--wife and three young children, All-Star career, reputation as a clean-living, big-brother type of guy--but he was a half-century younger than Landers when he died Saturday, and his passing was among the most stunning in the history of sports.
When I first heard that Kile had been found dead in his room at the Westin Hotel, I thought of another 33-year-old celebrity who in 1998 was found dead in his apartment just across the street, in the Hancock Building--comedian Chris Farley. I didn't know that much about Kile and there were no details about his death, but when someone young, rich and famous dies suddenly, you can't help but wonder if some dark habit was the cause.
But whereas Farley excessed himself to death, Kile was the victim of fate's cruel streak. The official word was that he died "of natural causes," but on an emotional and spiritual level, there's nothing natural, nothing normal and nothing understandable about the sudden death of a 33-year-old man.
One imagines that Kile drifted off to sleep Friday with thoughts of his wife, his 5-year-old twins, his infant son, and baseball. A man with a dream life, slipping into dreams.
The next day, the cliche about Wrigley Field being a "shrine" was sadly close to being literally true. A cryptic announcement from a choked-up Joe Girardi, a thousand cell phones chirping as fans learned more about why the game was being canceled, a slow progression of 40,000 fans in bright reds and blues heading for the exits on a hot summer afternoon that was just perfect for baseball.
Except nobody wanted to play.
E-mail: rroeper@suntimes.com
It sounds like Ann was duped her entire life. Roeper insults Darryl Kile's memory to include him with Ann Landers.
Leni
FMCDH
And that was the problem. People who try to be "Hip and Happening" without having any core values are like a nice brand, new truck, without a motor. They look nice on the outside but when it gets right down to it they are basically worthless.
Sorry to any Ann Landers fans out there but her advise for the most part was at best misguided and at worse down right distructive.
a.cricket
I wish Darryl Kile was alive so he could wring this guy's neck.
Bwahahahaha!!!That figures. Those fools don't even know who THEY are.
FMCDH
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