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Flattery Will Get Women Everywhere
The Age ^ | 6/7/02 | Patricia Boone

Posted on 06/09/2002 7:00:09 PM PDT by J.R.R. Tolkien

I told my daughter I was going to write an article entitled "my son-in-law the hero", because he took all his long-service leave so he could stay home and bond with their new baby. "Mum," she said (mothers will recognise the tone), "how long do women take off work to have babies, and no one tells us we're heroes."

She's right, of course. Even so, I think men who take time off to look after children should be praised and flattered as much as possible. Because it is only when men are as involved as women in caring for children that we will get decent parental leave, really family-friendly workplaces, and proper pay and status for child-care workers. (It is still the case, is it not, that occupations lose status when large numbers of women enter them, and gain pay and status when large numbers of men enter?)

This is already happening quite a bit. When I pick up my grandchildren from their primary school once a week, perhaps a quarter of the parents there are fathers. At a child's birthday party recently, two fathers arrived holding the hands of their three-year-olds, who were carrying presents fathers had wrapped. Fathers are doing school and kindergarten duty, and some of them, I am told, are really into it. This is nice. This is progress.

When it becomes taken for granted that child care is the equal responsibility of mothers and fathers, perhaps there will not be so many studies "proving" that any child care except mothers' care is harmful.

When having children is seen as men's business as much as women's, perhaps books and front-page articles about "baby hunger" will not focus exclusively on women.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: babies; childraising; children; education; families; family; feminism; feminist; feminists; marriage; men; teaching; women

1 posted on 06/09/2002 7:00:10 PM PDT by J.R.R. Tolkien
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To: J.R.R. Tolkien
As if the woman, if she wants to have a baby, has a choice in taking off work. As if the father who provides for her care is less valuable.

I get so tired of this holeir than thou attitude of feminists.

2 posted on 06/09/2002 7:44:49 PM PDT by marktwain
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To: marktwain
"I get so tired of this holeir than thou attitude of feminists."

Lighten up, no one said that providing for the child wasn't important. I think its nice that fathers can be care givers too. Doesn't make them any less manly, just nice. Who cares as long as the child is loved right?

3 posted on 06/09/2002 7:53:36 PM PDT by monday
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To: J.R.R. Tolkien
Totally dumb.
4 posted on 06/09/2002 8:11:49 PM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA
You are.
5 posted on 06/09/2002 8:58:27 PM PDT by J.R.R. Tolkien
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To: J.R.R. Tolkien
When it becomes taken for granted that child care is the equal responsibility of mothers and fathers, perhaps there will not be so many studies "proving" that any child care except mothers' care is harmful.

The point of those studies is to try to show that dumping kids in daycare is OK, they never are about fathers.

6 posted on 06/09/2002 9:02:55 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: Always Right
Fair point. Still, the more fathers taking care of their kids, the better.
7 posted on 06/09/2002 9:06:20 PM PDT by J.R.R. Tolkien
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