Graduate imitates Chris Farley, has commencement speech cut short

Star Tribune/AP ^ | June 6 2002

[2Trievers]

CONWAY, S.C. -- Conway High School salutatorian Chris Martin has gotten his diploma a week after school officials interrupted his humorous speech at the school's graduation ceremony.

Principal Rick Maxey said he stopped Martin's speech, which was given as an impersonation of a Chris Farley character on ``Saturday Night Live,'' because Maxey said he worried some of the audience might be offended by the remarks.

[2Trievers]

I LOVE IT! Mr. Martin is on the right track! &;-)

[2Trievers]

At my post-grad ceremony, all the undergrads had on bowling shirts, except the few girls who were naked underneath their gowns (and received hoots and hollers from wild admirers as their silhouettes were outlined as they passed across the stage). Someone gets it right once in a while. &;-)

[Wolfie]

"Keep it up, sonny, and you'll end up LIVIN' IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!"

[APBaer]

"Now as you go forth into the world
to live in a trailer down by the river"
To the strains of Pomp and Circumstance

[laredo44]

...because Maxey said he worried some of the audience might be offended by the remarks.

No doubt Maxey was one of those guys that, pre-Sept. 11, banned the Pledge of Allegiance because some might find it offensive. Meanwhile, the President of the United States can lie, obstruct justice, and commit felonies without Maxey finding anything to be offended about. Want to know what's offensive Mr. Maxey? Take a peek in the mirror.

[Orual]

Chris Farley was a grossly overweight, sweaty blob and definitely unfunny. One expected him to drop dead in the middle of one of his sweaty, strained performances. If Martin wanted to inject some humor into his speech, he should have chosen to imitate a comedian. Congratulations to Mr. Maxey for recognizing that the speech was in very poor taste.

[TxBec]

ya know there HAD to be an obligatory cheese shot for this thread

[Ben Chad]

Twenty years from now, this guy will be the most memorable graduate, as the streaker at my high school twenty years ago is today. Legend in the making.

[the]

We-e-e-elll.. la-de-freakin'-da!

Matt Foley Sounds

Alright, how's everybody? Good! Good! Good! Now, as your father probably told you, my name is Matt Foley, and I am a Motivational Speaker! Now, let's get started by me giving you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about! First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and I live in a van down by the river! Now, you kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to Jack Squat!!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, and living in a van down by the river! Now, young man, what do you want to do with your life?

-- Matt Foley

[dougherty]

You're so uptight, loosen up a bit. Chris Farley was hilarious, and I don't usually go for the Adam Sandler crowd.

[Hemingway's Ghost]

``This was not the time or place for this type of presentation,'' Maxey said.

Take a lump of charcoal and stick it in Principal Maxey's ass, and in 20 minutes you'll have yerself a diamond.

[MeekOneGOP]

The character on the ``Saturday Night Live'' skit gave sweaty inspirational speeches to at-risk teens by telling his audience they could end up like him, eating government cheese and living in a van down by the river.

Ah, but VARIETY is the spice of life, I always heard!

Go for it, fella!

And let's throw in a little Moose to go wit da cheese!

[the]

``We had to listen to eight speeches that night,''

Eight speakers!? For a high school graduation!? Let me see if I can guess the speakers list:

• Chairman Chairperson of the School Board
• School Superintendant
• Principal
• President of the Teachers' Union
• Commencement Speaker
• Teachers' Union Shop Steward
• Valedictorian
• Salutatorian

[Cowgirl]

I suppose with all the standards now required by the schools, such as no mention of the "J" word, prayer or TV humor, they'd better start writing the speeches for the graduates. The principal managed to embarrass the whole audience by stopping the skit. Typical PC thinking.

[sleavelessinseattle]

At my college dorm, guys were so jealous of the girls in Rector Hall because the cafeteria for the men's dorm and another girls dorm were separate buildings...The girls in Rector would come down in all sorts of pj's and nightgowns to breakfast and walk in front of these HUGE arched windows and the Sun shining through their Granny Gown sleep wear was better than most strip shows I've been to!!!! You can't tell me they didn't know it, either!!! WOMEN!!!!Time for beer, its almost 7:00 am!!!!(Basicly if I think about the "fairer sex(HA!)", by default...Its Miller time!!!)

[Night Hides Not]

No kidding!!! To show you how warped I am, a couple of my favorite comedians include Sam Kinison and Don Rickles (before PC came into vogue).

[Orual]

You're so uptight, loosen up a bit.

Have we met? The question is one of talent and taste - neither of which Farley possessed, nor did the student who chose an inappropriate model to imitate and an equally inappropriate occasion to do so. And I'm not as uptight as Farley. He's dead-tight.

[dighton]

Dear Ann,

I don't know who Chris Farley is. Does that make me a bad person?

-- Tubeless in Tulare County.

[Orual]

I don't know who Chris Farley is. Does that make me a bad person?

Consider yourself immensely fortunate not to have seen him, he was a regular on Saturday Night Live.

Sorry about this.

[Lazamataz]

Chris Farley's over-the-top characters were some of the funniest I have seen in a while. He was definitely an extremely funny man.