Replies

I wil have odor in this court!

NEVER BRING THIS TOPIC UP - NOW YOU'VE GOT ME GOIN'

BTW, FReep that poll!!

Ah, yes. We should all endeavor to be more like the Europeans. They are all so sophisticated. I feel like a slovenly barbarian whenever I am in their presence.

The Smelly Feet and Bad Breath Hoedown - from "Who's Line Is It Anyway?"

Josie Lawrence:
I know something, that works just a treat.
It got rid of my smelly feet.
I washed 'em with my mouth, and they smelled just like roses.
Unfortunately though it's given me halitosis.

Caroline Quentin:
The other day I started feelin' quite weezy.
Suddenly I felt my boyfriend's feet were cheesy.
So I looked down at his little toes,
And I took a hammer and I put it up his nose.

Colin Mochrie:
My breath really smells bad, my feet have a pong.
I really smell bad, it is all wrong.
It's horrible, it's horrible, and there is quite a link.
Because of my feet stinking, seven species are extinct.

Ryan Stiles:
What's that that smells so bad, a'lying on the beach?
It's those smelly feet, and they're within reach.
I will take a big night off, and cut 'em out just for a lark.
Throw 'em in the water, they're food for a shark.

Geez, I wonder what the rest of him smells like...he'd be a great poster boy for an "Oder-Eaters" foot commercial.

"Maar dat zegt nog niet dat ik stinkvoeten heb!"

Oh yeah? Well the sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick too!

Yeah, go to Germany----apparently they don't mind a lot of things.

Actually this guy might have a point about moving to Germany. Their armpits smell so bad over there that they probably won't notice the smelly feet.

His possible medical condition:

Hyperhidrosis

Excessive perspiration due to overactivity of the sweat glands.

Hyperhidrosis may be a contributory factor in various skin diseases (fungal or pyogenic infections; contact dermatitis). Generalized hyperhidrosis frequently accompanies fever. An endocrine dysfunction (eg, hyperthyroidism) or, occasionally, a CNS disorder may also cause generalized sweating. Localized hyperhidrosis usually occurs in otherwise healthy persons. It usually is confined to the palms, soles, axillae, inframammary regions, or groin. Excessive sweating of the palms and soles may be psychogenic.

In hyperhidrosis, the skin in affected areas is often pink or bluish white. In severe cases, the skin, especially on the feet, may be macerated, fissured, and scaling.

Bromhidrosis is a condition in which there is a fetid odor of the skin caused by decomposition of the sweat and cellular debris by bacteria and yeasts.

Treatment
For generalized hyperhidrosis, the underlying systemic disease must be treated, yet the hyperhidrosis may be refractory. Systemic anticholinergic drugs have only a temporary effect, and side effects (eg, dry mouth, blurred vision, difficulty with urination) are problematic.

For localized hyperhidrosis, a 20 to 25% solution of aluminum chloride hexahydrate in absolute ethyl alcohol applied at night to the dried axillae, palms, or soles and covered tightly with a thin polyethylene film is usually effective. In the morning, the polyethylene film is removed and the area is washed free of salt. Two applications usually protect the area for 1 wk. If the aluminum chloride under occlusion is irritating, it should be tried without occlusion. This solution should not be applied to inflamed, broken, wet, or recently shaved skin. In some patients, tap-water iontophoresis may be effective. A 5% solution of methenamine (available in some countries) in water may also be effective. Topical solutions containing glutaraldehyde or formaldehyde may be effective but can be irritating. If the anhydrous aluminum chloride treatment fails, extreme axillary hyperhidrosis may be relieved by surgically excising the concentrated group of glands in the axillary vault.

Bromhidrosis often resolves with scrupulous cleanliness. Daily bathing with a liquid soap containing chlorhexidine and application of an aluminum chlorhydroxy complex preparation (found in most commercial antiperspirants) are usually adequate. Topical antibacterial creams or lotions (eg, clindamycin, erythromycin) may be useful adjuncts. Shaving the axillary hair may also be necessary.

http://www.merck.com/pubs/mmanual/section10/chapter124/124b.htm

>Smelly feet man denied access to library may start new life in Germany

In the dark
Where all the fevers grow
Under the water
Where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin'
By yer radio
Do the walls close in t' suffocate ya
You ain't got no friends . . .
An' all the others: they hate ya
Does the life you been livin' gotta go, hmmm?
Well, lemme straighten you out
About a place I know . . .
(Get yer shoes 'n socks on people,
It's right aroun' the corner!)
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases,
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases, mmm . . .

This has to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease
Bromidrosis
But us regular folks
Who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
STINK FOOT
Y'know, my python boot is too tight
I couldn't get it off last night
A week went by, an' now it's July
I finally got it off
An' my girl-friend cry
"You got STINK FOOT!
STINK FOOT, darlin'
Your STINK FOOT puts a hurt on my nose!
STINK FOOT! STINK FOOT! I ain't lyin',
Can you rinse it off, d'you suppose?"
Here Fido . . . Fido . . .
C'mere little puppy . . . bring the slippers
"Arf, arf, arf!" (crash-crumble-bump-bump-bump)
Heh heh heh . . . sick . . .

Well then Fido got up off the floor an' he rolled over
An' he looked me straight in the eye
An' you know what he said?
Once upon a time
Somebody say to me
(This is a dog talkin' now)
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
Well, I told him right then
(Fido said)
It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit
Is the Apostrophe(')
Well, you know
The man who was talkin' to the dog
Looked at the dog an' he said: (sort of staring in desbelief)
"You can't say that!"
He said:
"IT DOESN'T, 'n YOU CAN'T!
I WON'T, 'n IT DON'T!
IT HASN'T, IT ISN'T, IT EVEN AIN'T
'N IT SHOULDN'T . . .
IT COULDN'T!"
He told me NO NO NO!
I told him YES YES YES!
I said: "I do it all the time . . .
Ain't this boogie a mess!"
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
(POO-DLE . . . )
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
( . . . BITES)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES
THE POODLE CHEWS IT
THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES

[Zappa]