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Afghan Gays Delighted To See Brittish Troops
scotsman.com ^ | 24 May 2002 | Chris Bagram

Posted on 05/30/2002 2:50:55 PM PDT by Raymond Hendrix

Startled marines find Afghan men all made up to see them

Chris Stephen In Bagram

BRITISH marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat - being propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers.

An Arbroath marine, James Fletcher, said: "They were more terrifying than the al-Qaeda. One bloke who had painted toenails was offering to paint ours. They go about hand in hand, mincing around the village."

While the marines failed to find any al-Qaeda during the seven-day Operation Condor, they were propositioned by dozens of men in villages the troops were ordered to search.

"We were pretty shocked," Marine Fletcher said. "We discovered from the Afghan soldiers we had with us that a lot of men in this country have the same philosophy as ancient Greeks: ‘a woman for babies, a man for pleasure’."

Originally, the marines had sent patrols into several villages in the mountains near the town of Khost, hoping to catch up with al-Qaeda suspects who last week fought a four-hour gun battle with soldiers of the Australian SAS. The hardened troops, their faces covered in camouflage cream and weight down with weapons, radios and ammunition, were confronted with Afghans wanting to stroke their hair.

"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."

At one stage, troops were invited into a house and asked to dance. Citing the need to keep momentum in their search and destroy mission, the marines made their excuses and left. "They put some music on and ask us to dance. I told them where to go," said Cpl Richard. "Some of the guys turned tail and fled. It was hideous."

The Afghan hill tribes live in some of the most isolated communities in the country. "I think a lot of the problem is that they don’t have the women around a lot," said another marine, Vaz Pickles. "We only saw about two women in the whole six days. It was all very disconcerting."

A second problem the British found came minutes after the first helicopter touched down at one of the hilltop firebases, when local farmers appeared demanding compensation for goats they claimed had been blown off the mountains by the rotor blades. "Every time we landed a Chinook near a village, we got some irate bloke running up to us saying his goat has just got blown off the mountain ridge by the helicopter - and then he demanded a hundred dollars compensation," said Major Phil Joyce, commander of Whisky Company, one of four companies deployed.

As patrols moved away from the landing zones, the locals began pestering Afghan troops attached to the marines with ever more outrageous compensation demands - topping off at a demand from one village elder for $500 (£300) for damage to a tree by the downdraft from helicopters.

But the marines were under orders to win the "hearts and minds" of local farmers in what is one of the few remaining Taleban bastions. "I managed to barter him down to two marine pens, a pencil and a rubber," Major Joyce said. "He went away quite happy ."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; United Kingdom
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1 posted on 05/30/2002 2:50:55 PM PDT by Raymond Hendrix
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Good Lord. I had to check the source to make sure this wasn't a joke! It could easily fit in "The Onion"...
2 posted on 05/30/2002 2:58:05 PM PDT by JennysCool
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To: Raymond Hendrix
When did we invade Afagotstan?
3 posted on 05/30/2002 3:00:10 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: Raymond Hendrix
"I managed to barter him down to two marine pens, a pencil and a rubber," Major Joyce said. "He went away quite happy ."

Should have shot the perverts.

4 posted on 05/30/2002 3:01:22 PM PDT by chachacha
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Bwahahahahaha.......

This article is so rich with material, I don't know where to comment!

BBTT !!

NeverGore

5 posted on 05/30/2002 3:03:01 PM PDT by nevergore
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To: JennysCool
I had to check the link, too. Unbelievable.
6 posted on 05/30/2002 3:04:57 PM PDT by geaux
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Sounds like the earlier messages on those navy bombs were totally appropriate.
7 posted on 05/30/2002 3:06:28 PM PDT by nightdriver
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Already posted here under original title

Startled marines find Afghan men all made up to see them

8 posted on 05/30/2002 3:09:06 PM PDT by Suzie_Cue
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Taliban AlQaeda Deception campaign?
9 posted on 05/30/2002 3:09:12 PM PDT by swarthyguy
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To: JennysCool
Every time we landed a Chinook near a village, we got some irate bloke running up to us saying his goat has just got blown off the mountain ridge by the helicopter

LOL. Where's PETA?

10 posted on 05/30/2002 3:24:52 PM PDT by Slainte
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To: Raymond Hendrix
"Mincing": Now there's a term one doesn't hear everyday.
11 posted on 05/30/2002 3:27:05 PM PDT by Redcloak
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To: Raymond Hendrix
"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."

Yikes!
Maybe they're taking this *being liberated* thing too far.

12 posted on 05/30/2002 3:47:09 PM PDT by Jorge
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To: Raymond Hendrix
I've always considered myself to have a very good and active imagination. One thing that my imagination just can't comprehend is a Gay Afghani. Geeeeesh!
13 posted on 05/30/2002 3:49:37 PM PDT by jackbill
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To: Raymond Hendrix
" swarms of gay local farmers."

" "They were more terrifying than the al-Qaeda."

"They go about...mincing around the village."

Boggles the mind.

14 posted on 05/30/2002 4:15:43 PM PDT by elbucko
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To: Raymond Hendrix
"...were confronted with Afghans wanting to stroke their hair."

"It was hell,""

Oh Geez!

15 posted on 05/30/2002 4:21:24 PM PDT by elbucko
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Afghan Gays Delighted To See Brittish Troops

Wait till they get a load of the French! :-)

16 posted on 05/30/2002 4:22:32 PM PDT by Mike Darancette
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To: Mike Darancette
Aren't Greeks available as part of the alliance? Can't we send Greeks?
17 posted on 05/30/2002 4:46:41 PM PDT by marktwain
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To: Raymond Hendrix
They're all trying to get to Guantanamo, where they can be caged all together...
18 posted on 05/30/2002 4:48:28 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: Raymond Hendrix
Gays in Afghanistan. Possibly the world's most silent minority.
19 posted on 05/30/2002 4:50:35 PM PDT by IronJack
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To: Raymond Hendrix
I'd bet Osama bin Laden gives a mean BJ...
20 posted on 05/30/2002 5:01:23 PM PDT by SunStar
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