Sheriff looks for man trading septic-tank work for sex, guns

Arkansas Democrat Gazette ^ | Friday, May 10, 2002 | The associated Press

[spectre]

CAMDEN</> --Authorities want to talk to a man who offered to clean out septic systems in exchange for sex or guns.

The barter arrangement apparently is not illegal, but Ouachita Count sheriff's Deputy Stephen Carneal said Thursday the agency wants to find the man to determine where he is dumping the waste he collects.

Chief Deputy Paul Lucas said that the man is also wanted for questioning to determine whether he has the proper certifications to provide the septic service.

The matter came to light after a woman in Reader reported that a man approached her with an offer to clean out her septic tank.

The woman told him she had no money, and he made the barter offer authorities said.

As Carneal searched for the man, three other residents said the same person had offered to pump their septic tanks, asking for firearms in exchange. Carneal said the residents reported the man said he wanted the guns for hunting.

[spectre]

Does he want to have sex before or after he cleans the septic tank?

[KC Burke]

Gals, if financial constraints cause you to consider this, be sure and do yourself a favor and catch him early in his workday.

[LaBradford22]

I'm reminded of one of Tim Allen's stand-up comedy skits where he talks about manly stuff. Cleaning septic tanks. Having sex. Hunting. It doesn't get much more manly than that. You gotta love backwoods Arkansas hicks - except our last President, of course.

[Frohickey]

As Carneal searched for the man, three other residents said the same person had offered to pump their septic tanks,

Septic tanks were not the only thing the man wanted to pump. ;)

[spectre]

LOL! I was just going to call and warn a friend of mine who lives in the country...She's a real beauty, and short on cash...!

Her hubbie locks his guns up :~)

sw

[Vidalia]

Is this another aspect of Bill Clinton's new "diversity program"?

[Dakmar]

I wonder if he only accepts pump-action rifles?

[Billthedrill]

The barter arrangement may not be illegal, but is certainly grey market. I mean, how ya gonna tax this, ask for a cut of the, er, take?

[Kozak]

Reminds me of the old "SNL" skit about the septic tank diver. It only cost 5 bucks to get him to dive in, but it cost 100 to get him to leave your house....

[Arkie2]

Hey, it's Bill! He lives in the sewer, believes in gun control and trolls trailer parks! Now we know why he turned down that TV show. He had a better deal going!

[Clemenza]

Oh no! They're looking for ME! Please don't tell the sheriff...

[spectre]

Wonder what the barter was, Clemenza? Most men have all the guns they need...:~)

sw

[Vetnet]

a man who offered to clean out septic systems in exchange for sex or guns

At least he's trying to barter American-made products....

[newgeezer]

See! This is why a National Sales Tax can't work. Bartering will become rampant, as a means of avoiding taxes. </sarcasm>

[ZOOKER]

A man like that should be easy to spot. Where's he hiding?

Found him yet, sheriff? Where have you looked so far?

[spectre]

You haven't been on the country roads in Arkansas? You can't spot the difference between an old pick-up truck or a Honey-wagon ;~)

sw

[biblewonk]

Not going there.

[ValerieUSA]

This guy sounds like a "guest" on the Phil Hendrie radio show.

[sweetliberty]

"He lives in the sewer, believes in gun control and trolls trailer parks! Now we know why he turned down that TV show. He had a better deal going!"

ROTFL!