[PatrickHenry]

I don't have a crank theory. I know that I am the only person on earth, and all of you are bogus images sent here to decieve me in a failing attempt to prevent me from discovering the truth. Well, your cosmic deception isn't working. My powers are growing. I'm very close to solving the mystery. And then watch out!

[Gumlegs]

SLIME!

... just for old times' sake.

[longshadow]

I don't have a crank theory. I know that I am the only person on earth, and all of you are bogus images sent here to decieve me in a failing attempt to prevent me from discovering the truth. Well, your cosmic deception isn't working. My powers are growing. I'm very close to solving the mystery. And then watch out!

It's more convincing if you use a blue font for megamaniacal rants....

[Scully]

I am the only person on earth

I would be very happy to trade lives with you for a day, just to demonstrate that you are not alone. Relaxing in your la-BOHR-a-tory whilst Plato brings me tea has a definite appeal. OTH, being a male you likely do not have the stamina required for the experiment...