Careers are 'making women miserable'

Daily Telegraph ^ | April 25, 2002 | Paul Stokes

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Ditto. Perfect response! I need to be able to keep a roof over my head and food on my table. Single women don't get special discounts because they don't have husbands.

[choirboy]

My niece works for one of the big CPA firms (no, not Andersen!). She has a very successful career and is on partner track.

The firm for some time has been aggressively promoting women. But they have a problem -- many of the women are asking for part-time or flex-time work because of family requirements. It's difficult to promote them over the men when the men don't ask for that favor.

Also, many of the women have quit. Both because of family requirements and because they don't like the long working hours associated with the profession.

[DennisR]

Makes perfect sense. You are there for your kids when they need you, and you are not neglecting them. Thank you.

[olivia3boys]

And it's OK--most P/T women (like me) SHOULDN'T be promoted over full-time men. For me, it's been a more than acceptable tradeoff. In fact, I'm enjoying working P/T so much that even when my kids are grown and gone I doubt I'll ever go back to F/T work.

[DennisR]

You said it!

[montag813]

This article has to be a lie. Patricia Ireland says women are miserable at home.

[Hawkeye's Girl]

Nice to hear that.

I am a female physics major who's graduating this year from my college and then going over to the local University to get a Master's in Electrical Engineering. My reasoning is simple. I want to get married, have kids, and stay home with them; unfortunately, I'm still single while all my friends are either engaged or in long term relationships. So I might as well be able to support myself in a field that I enjoy while I keep looking. No guy wants a leech for a wife.

[GuillermoX]

I recruit salespeople...and you'd be surprised at how many times they (hiring authority) say "...and the best candidate would be a male".

[Diamond]

Transfering one's misery to another is hardly a female attribute. Men do it regularly, as do children

I'm trying to think of a snappy comeback to this but I can't.

Cordially,

[GuillermoX]

ALL CAPS = screaming.

[Cowgirl]

Well, I do stay at home as opposed to going to work. I can't see how that is demeaning.

[FITZ]

Women should learn something they can make a living at. There are no guarantees in life.

I have a feeling that's how most conservative men raise their daughters ---to have a way to support themselves ---just in case. Self-sufficiency vs welfare if they are later abandoned or widowed. Hitting the job market at over 40 with no resume can be a very difficult situation, I know a woman with a double degree and no job history who was told at age 44 that her degree didn't mean anything since hadn't worked.

[SamAdams76]

I will venture to offer a different side of this coin. Many "housewives" are miserable as well. My wife has a career and has never stayed at home (other than the times when our two sons were infants). I would categorize our relationship as happier than most. Because we both work, there are no financial problems and neither of us have pressure to "bring home the bacon" so we can BOTH put the family ahead of the job. We share household chores and even have the kids pitch in. Every two weeks, we have a maid service clean the house top to bottom so all we really worry about day to day is laundry and cooking (and yard work in the summer).

Not that I think there is anything wrong with stay-at-home moms. I'm just saying that not all women with careers need be miserable. It really depends on how husband and wife are willing to work things out.

[olivia3boys]

Well, I'd say I do take my work seriously, in that I get all my work done quickly and competently, and, in fact, do MORE work than many of my full-time coworkers (I work for the federal gov't which should explain THAT). I suppose I'm not "serious" in that I'm not interested in advancement here, but is that the only measure of seriousness? That said, I'd have no problem with a full-time man being promoted over me. I've sacrificed my "career" for my children and I have no regrets.

[twigs]

You're smart. I raised my daughter as a single parent until she was 12 and therefore had to put her in child-care (which I absolutely hated to do). I always raced home ASAP to pick her up and turned down a lot of evening engagements I should have gone to as as PR person for my company. In two different centers, the children in at the crack of dawn and the last out were the children of two parents who were both lawyers. Made me sad--and ill.

[twigs]

Excellent way of looking at things. Your husband and kids will have a smart and educated wife and mother who knows what she wants--them!

[olivia3boys]

I don't think I'd be exactly miserable if I were a full-time "work outside the home mom," but I KNOW life would definitely be more hectic. I'd hate to have to do my 10 weekly loads of laundry only on the weekends (we'd be stuck close to home all day, yuck!), or to have to do all my errands only on the weekends. And I have an hour+ commute and so dinner every night would be at 8 pm, and I'd never see my kids. I don't think my family would thrive in this kind of situation. For one thing, full-time day care is horrible for children. It's also very hard for 4 people to converge on each other at the end of the day, having been in separate places, apart, all day. It's easier and more peaceful to just have one member (ie, the father) come home to a family who's waiting for him, with dinner already ready. So while the avoidance of misery is important, I'd say a less hectic lifestyle is important too.

[bandlength]

umm, how about the DIVORCED women with children who HAVE to work AND do housework, etc., etc.

AND in my own personal case, i get a whopping $94 a month for my two kids as my ex-husband has been "finding" himself for the last 12 years., i.e. getting an education (PHD) in lieu of working and sending child support money

he does plan to start his career THE MOMENT the youngest turns 21. (legal limit where child support discontinues).

not all of us can live in fairy land and have hubby support us.