Racy fashions attract preteens

School officials and parents worry about daring attire that tempts young girls to grow up too fast.

Don't count on Kathleen Mortensen to get excited about shopping for her 11-year-old daughter. She's dreading it.

"I see midriffs, shirts with necklines way too low, and all those leopard fabrics," moaned the 42-year-old mother from Boise, Idaho. "They look like they're for lounge singers. Whether you go to Kmart or an expensive department store, all I see are risque outfits."

Tiger, my friend - you are correct. Kids don't buy it, parents do.

On the other hand I have to laugh about this nonsense of tight pants and tight shirts. I was about 11 before I was able to convince my mother that the "Danskin" brand of clothes she insisted on dressing me in was a bit ridiculous. It was a popular brand of kids clothes in the 60s and 70s - leotard material for shirts, shorts and pants for little girls. It was also easy for moms - mix an match colors and patterns. I came to hate the stuff so much that if I see a "danskin" label - my daughter does not wear it - even if it is a hand-me-down from friends.

My mother never considered this to be provacative dress - but in this day and age, when one considers the fabrics used for it - that's exactly what it is.

I think part of the problem is that today's parents don't want to admit that when THEY were young, and they wanted to buy/wear racy outfits, that THEY WERE WRONG as well!

Agreed. Perhaps a contributing factor is that kids seem to clue into overt sexuality much sooner than I remember being the case when I was younger. No doubt there's media responsibility here but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the things I've read about puberty starting earlier in younger generations are playing a role (can't back that statement up with a cite but I've run into it repeatedly).

What surprises me with some modern parents is their inability to just say to their kids "Look, I'm older than you you and have more experience than you. You're just going to have to go along with me on this and when you're older you'll understand." I know my parents used to throw that at me all the time and what do you know, they were right most of the time after all. This friend was a pretty wild guy when he was younger and so was his wife but he came from a solid family and obviously it rubbed off on them. Their reaction to when their daughter confronts them with a "but don't you remember when you were young" is variance of "yep. And we'll try and help you avoid some of the stupid mistakes we didn't realize we were making at the time." The daughter is turning out quite well, BTW.

My kids and I had an interesting discussion of Britney and her wannabe fashion victims just yesterday when we went to the mall. I compared her influence to that of Madonna's in the 80's and emphasized that this is what the Devil does. He attracts the young with pretty faces and exciting clothes and flashy dance moves and encourages young girls and boys to lose their natural modesty and restraint.

I established boundaries with my children when they were very young and have explained to them all along the way that if I allowed the worldly trends to dictate how my children dressed, I would not be doing my job as a Christian mother. It is sometimes difficult to withstand the peer presure they receive from their video-watching friends...we don't listen to that music or watch those programs. We fight back by keeping Christian friends around and enjoying activities with church friends, our family, and other school families who share our value system. Having a support group to encourage them has helped my kids feel that resisting the lure of risque fashion and music has been worth it. One of my kids was surprised last week when a "trendy" friend whispered "I don't really like Britney either. I just didn't want (insert popular girl's name here) to think I'm a dork."

It is more work to find modest fashions for exuberant young people, but the clothes ARE there...you just have to wade past the unworthy items to get to them. One day at the mall, I saw a group of beautiful girls with their mothers. These girls turned my head because their clothes looked classic and low-key instead of tight and low-cut. I made a point of encouraging them and their mothers by remarking how lovely the girls were and that one reason I thought so was their modest choice of clothing. One mother grinned and said, "No belly shirts here!" The girls blushed and smiled...it may have embarrassed them to be noticed for that reason, but I was impressed. My kids asked me why I had approached the group just to tell them I thought they looked nice. I said, "When people are trying to do something that is right and good, they deserve a pat on the back."

Amen! I have a beautiful 12-year-old daughter who is modest about her body and doesn't like the new unwearable styles, thank God! And it's not just the styles we're both uncomfortable with; the fabrics are too revealing, too flimsy gauzy. So I taught her how to sew. She and I redesigned patterns so she can have trend without trash. We had fun together and she enjoyed learning a skill and telling her friends that she made her own clothes.

And the prices of some of these unwearable retail clothes would bankrupt us!

Other than the 'danskin' outfits, my mom and grandmom made a lot of my clothes including the first Prom dress I ever wore. And between them they taught me the rudiments of sewing and making my own clothes. The very first skirt I ever made, with the help of my grandmother, was well over 3 inches above my knee.

But I also was taught the difference between appropriate and inappropriate clothing.

That is the difference. As long as a child is taught the neccessary dictates of appropriate attire there will not be a problem. The problem is, most children are not taught those parameters.

Was the spandex micro mini-skirt I wore to my husband's 25th class reunion an inappropriate impression to give our daughter? Absolutely not - the child was only 5 weeks old at the time. Is it inappropriate for me to where it occassionally now, almost 4 years later? - NO.

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