*****CHELSEA CLINTON ELOPES!!****** X-42 Tries to stop the Wedding

Globe World Exclusive ^ | April 11, 2002 Issue | Cover Screenshot Staff

[codebreaker]

Text:Chelsea Elopes and Bill Tries to Stop the Wedding

Connie Francis Caught in Porn Scandal

New Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape Found

[LantzALot]

I see: You're doing to him what he's doing to her. Rock on.

[LantzALot]

I wonder how many FReepers remember Connie at the height of her career in the 1950's? Her real name is Concetta Franconera, I think.

Here's one. High school class of '59; spent many happy hours holding girls in my arms and dancing to "My Happiness", "Where the Boys Are" -- and others.

[truthkeeper]

Remember she was in love with Bobby Darin and her pop made her break it up? She said he was the true love of her life. Sad.

[truthkeeper]

Actually, it was Shirley Bassey who sang the "Goldfinger" theme. I think it did win the Oscar that year, but I'm not sure.

[Ann Archy]

Ian Klaus is the boy she is kissing? Any relation to the poor, dead Polly Klaus and her dad?

[PoisedWoman]

Ian Klaus is the boy she is kissing? Any relation to the poor, dead Polly Klaus

I think Polly Klass Klaus Klauss name is spelled differently. Ian Klaus, from exclusive Marin town of Belvedere, is Rhodes Scholar (legitimately) from Washington U in St. Louis where he did a double major and is apparently a very bright young man. However, he's interested in politics and wrote papers in college on homophobia and racism in South Africa.....so we can easily see this barfing Marin liberal "boy's" attraction to doggie Chelsea. Horrible consequences may come from this union, including not one but TWO stinking liberal politicians-in-the-making in NoCal. I predict a rapid rise into gubmint jobs....elected jobs......for both of them. On another thread which regrettably i did not bookmark, several people including moi scanned Ian with our gaydar and found many signs and signals. We shall see.

[Revelation 911]

[Geezerette]

Bobby Darin

Thanks!! I was trying to remember what that young singer's name was ... Frankie Avalon came to mind, but I think he was with Annette Funicello ... too long ago!

g

[Geezerette]

Those were the days! The very best days of my life!!

g

[antaresequity]

[Revelation 911]

just be thankful you aren't Klaus - cause chances are this is what he'll wake up to

[PJ-Comix]

I thought I detected some tongue.

I just saw this issue on the supermarket checkout line and the tongue action is VERY noticeable. Check it out. You can't really see it much on this pic posted here but on the actual hardcopy edition it is plain to see. Millions of shoppers around the country will now be greeted by pics of Chelsea tongue kissing on their checkout lines.

[socal_parrot]

If I do pick up a copy while I'm waiting in line at the local market, do you promise the photow won't make me go blind and wander the world as an un-dead zombie?

[PJ-Comix]

It is kind of strange that millions of people who are buying food at the supermarket will lose their appetites when they see that pic on the checkout lines of Chelsea tonguing her boyfriend. That tongue action is VERY NOTICEABLE on the hardcopy cover. You can't really see it on the pic posted online here but Chelsea's tongue jumps out at you from the supermarket checkout line.

[E Rocc]

Saddam's Gay Lover Tells All

The Weekly World News managed to get an interview with Satan? >:)

-Eric